"A COMMON LIKENESS" Written By: Keetanna SCENE 1 - Space Station Bucky, Jenny, and Fritz are talking in his office. FRITZ I want to put another warrior with you and your crew temporarily. BUCKY (surprised) What!?! (angerly) Don't you think we can handle the toads? JENNY (to Fritz) He has a point. FRITZ Actually, it isn't because I don't think you guy can't handle things. BUCKY Then why? FRITZ I'm appointing her as a new Captain and the U.A.C. figured that you might be able to teach her a few things. BUCKY Are you sure that's a good idea? JENNY Yeah, we get into a lot of trouble with the toads sometimes. FRITZ Are you saying that she'll get hurt? JENNY Maybe. FRITZ Jenny, you don't know this girl. JENNY So, why should that make a difference? FRITZ Believe me, she can take care of herself. BUCKY (sighs) Alright. What's her name? FRITZ Her name is Keetanna and she's from Aldabaran, but she isn't part of the sisterhood. Jenny, maybe there might be a slight chance that you know her? JENNY I don't believe so. FRITZ (chuckles) You'll find out soon. (pauses) Here she comes. The door opens and in steps a tall, thin, tan cat walks in. She has brown wavey hair that comes down to about her waist and bright blue eyes. Bucky's chin drops. BUCKY (sarcastically) She's gonna be your new Captain. FRITZ (motions for Keetanna to come in) Of course she is. (to Keetanna) Come in here and meet Captain O'Hare. Keetanna walks over to where they are standing. KEETANNA Hello, Captain O'Hare. I'm Keetanna. BUCKY Nice to meet you, Keetanna. FRITZ (motions to Jenny) And this is Jenny. KEETANNA Hello, Jenny. I've heard so much about you. JENNY Really. KEETANNA Don't I know you from somewhere though. JENNY You've probably seen me on TV. KEETANNA Probably. But it seems like I know you from somewhere else. JENNY It could be possible. I can't remember a lot of things that happened before I joined the Sisterhood. BUCKY (interrupting) Alright, you two, lets go and get something to eat before we leave. Jenny and Keetanna follow behind Bucky and they head for the cafeteria. KEETANNA (whispers to Jenny) So, you've been with him the whole time you've been in the Toad Wars. JENNY (whispers back) Yes. Why? KEETANNA Are there any other females on your crew other than you? JENNY No, only me. KEETANNA Well, don't you ever need to talk to another female, you know, about girl stuff.. JENNY Whenever I need to talk to someone about something, I talk to Bucky. He's always there to listen to me. KEETANNA Well, has he ever tried to hurt you? JENNY Why would he try to hurt me? KEETANNA I don't know. Has he? JENNY No, actually he hasn't. I make him mad sometimes, but never mad enough for him to try and hurt me. Hell, for that matter , I have a hard enough time making him mad enough to stay mad at me for fifteen minutes. KEETANNA So, you're kinda his girl. JENNY Sort of, You'd really have to talk to him about that. KEETANNA Oh, OK. SCENE 2 - Cafeteria They arrive at the cafeteria and walk over to a table. Bucky pulls out a chair for Keetanna to sit down in, then Jenny, then sits down himself. They all order a meal. BUCKY (to Keetanna) So, tell us a little bit about yourself. KEETANNA Alright. I'm from Aldabaran, bu you already know that and I'm 23 years old. BUCKY Why did you decide to get involved in the Toad Wars? KEETANNA (looks up at him questionally) Huh? BUCKY I mean why did you decide that you hated the Toads so much that you wanted to hurt them? KEETANNA Oh, Well they killed my husband and daughter. BUCKY Oh, sorry. Touchy subject. KEETANNA Yeah. BUCKY So, what was you're husbands name? KEETANNA Actually, you might have known him. He was from you're planet, Captain O'Hare. BUCKY Please, call me Bucky. Jenny looks at him slyly. It is obviouse that she doesn't like him flirting with Keetanna. Bucky looks back at Jenny and smiles. Then looks back to Keetanna. BUCKY Well, what was his name? KEETANNA Destin O'Rieley. BUCKY He, I do know him? He lived next door to me while I was growing up. KEETANNA Did he really? BUCKY Yeah, but I never thought he would marry an Aldabaran. No offense. KEETANNA None taken. JENNY Is it really possible for an Aldaran and a Hare to reproduce. KEETANNA Well, it worked for me and Destin. BUCKY I never knew. KEETANNA Well, now you know. Jenny smiles. The waitor puts down their meals in front of them and they eat. SCENE 3 - Righteous. Deadeye, Bruiser, Blinky, and Willy all patiently await the return of Bucky and Jenny. Willy and Blinky are on the upper deck working on the ship's data banks and Deadeye and Bruiser are on the lower deck. BRUISER Did Capt'n O'Hare say why the chairman wanted to see 'im? DEADEYE He said something 'bout us gettin' a new person on the crew. BRUISER Permanent? DEADEYE Temporary, I think. BRUISER Did he say why he wanted to see Jenny? DEADEYE No. He didn't. But you know how that lassie is. BRUISER Yeah. She follows the Capt'n everywhere he goes. DEADEYE Aye. But we all know that he enjoys her company. BRUISER (agrees) Yeah. On the upper deck Willy and Blinky sit in front of the console. Willy is up underneath it fiddling with some wires. WILLY (impatiently) How much longer do you think they're going to be gone? I can only fix things for so long. BLINKY I don't know. WILLY I hope they hurry up. I'm really starting to get boared. SCENE 4 - Loading dock of the space station. Bucky, Jenny, and Keetanna walk up to the Righteous. BUCKY This is my ship. KEETANNA (sarcastically) Does it have a name, or do you just call it "ship"? BUCKY I call it the Righteous Indignation. KEETANNA Righteous Indignation. (laughs) Funny name. BUCKY What's so funny about it? KEETANNA Huh? BUCKY What's so funny about it? KEETANNA I don't know. (sighs) It's just a little longer than I exlpected. It's kinda a tongue twister. Jenny laughs and Bucky looks at her. BUCKY (looks at Keetanna) Shall we go onboard. KEETANNA Sounds like fun. They walk up the ramp and into the Righteous. SCENE 5 - Lower Deck Of The Righteous. Deadeye and Bruiser turn around when they notice Bucky, Jenny, and Keetanna get aboard. DEADEYE It's about time, laddie. BRUISER (looks at Keetanna) Who's she? (points to Keetanna) BUCKY (pushes Keetanna foreward) This is Keetanna. She will be training with us for a couple of days. Keetanna (gestures to Deadeye) This is my gunner, Deadeye. DEADEYE Hi, Las. KEETANNA Hello, (pauses, looking at Deadeye) Hey, you're a pirate, aren't you? DEADEYE Aye. KEETANNA (laughs) This is so cool. I'm actually getting to meet a pirate. BUCKY Yes you are. (laughs, then clears his throat) (turns to Bruiser) And this is Bruiser. BRUISER (blushes) Hi. KEETANNA Hi. BUCKY Come on. You can chat with them later. Lets go and meet the other two members of my crew. They're on the upper deck. They climb the ladder to the upper deck. SCENE 6 - Upper Deck of The Righteous. Willy and Deadeye are messing with the controls when Jenny, Bucky, and Keetanna come up. Bucky clears his throat and Blinky and Willy turn around and face them. WILLY Who's she? BUCKY Willy, this is Keetanna. She's gonna be doing her training with us. WILLY Training? For what? BUCKY She's going to be a Captain and Fritz thinks that it will do her some good to train with us. WILLY Oh, OK. (turns to Keetanna) Hello, Keetanna. I'm Bucky's engineer, Willy DuWitt. KEETANNA Hello, Willy. Nice to meet you. WILLY Are you from Aldabaran? KETANNA Yes. WILLY You're not part of the Sisterhood though, are you? KEETANNA No, I'm not. What is this twenty questions? WILLY Sorry. BUCKY (gestures to Blinky) And this is my Android First Class, Blinky. BLINKY Pleased to make your acquaintance, new mate Keetanna. KEETANNA (looks at Blinky funny) Yeah, it's nice to meet you, too. BUCKY Alright, now that everybody has been introduced, I think we should go. Buck and Jenny sit in their seats and Keetanna sits on the floor behind them and watches. KEETANNA So, where are we going? BUCKY To go croak some toads. KEETANNA Huh? JENNY He means, we're gonna go and kill some toads. As soon as we find them. KEETANNA Oh, OK. BUCKY Put it into warp drive, Jen. JENNY Aye-aye, Captain. BUCKY (hits the panel) Everyone prepare for warp drive. Shot of the Rigteous going into warp drive. SCENE 7 - Toad Mothership Toadborg and the Air Marshal are standing in front of Komplex. TOADBORG We have some bad news, oh mighty Komplex. KOMPLEX Report TOADBORG It seems that the mammals are appointing a new Captain. KOMPLEX So, we'll just have to get ahold of this new Captain and kill him, or don't you think you can handle it, you bucket of bolts. TOADBORG Her, actually. KOMPLEX Whatever, I'm leaving it up to you to be rid of her. Komplex's face disappears from the screen. Toadborg turns to face the Air Marshal. TOADBORG Be rid of her. AIR MARSHAL Yes, Toadborg. Toadborg turns and leavs. AIR MARSHAL (yells) Frix, Frax, get your lazy butts in here, NOW! Frix and Frax come running in and stop in front of the Air Marshal and salute. FRAX (studders) Wha . . . what is it, s ... s... sir? AIR MARSHAL I want you to be rid of this new Captain. FRIX What does he look like? AIR MARSHAL I don't know. But he's a she and I think she's from Aldabaran. Now go. Frix and Frax salute and leave. SCENE 8 - Somewhere in space. The Righteous is ambushed by a swarm of toad double bubbles. Deadeye fires his weapons at the toads. DEADEYE (over comm) Some fun, hey maties! BUCKY (responds) Sure is Deadeye. Now cut us a path to the Mothership. DEADEYE Aye-aye. Deadeye fires his cannons into the toad armada, clearing a path for the Righteous to get to the toad mothership. SCENE 9 - Toad Mothership The crew of the Righteous and Keetanna step out of the ship and are ambushed by the toads. A toad taps Bucky on the shoulder. Bucky spins around and punches him in the face. A few minutes later Jenny touches Bucky on the shoulder and he turns and hits her in the face with his fist, hard. He turns around to face what he thought was a toad. Much to his surprise it was Jenny he was facing. When he realizes who it was that he had just hit, his heart drops into his stomache. He rushes over to Jenny. BUCKY (yells to Bruiser) Bruiser, cover my back! Bruiser steps out of the ship. The toads all yell like little sissy girls and turn to run. Bruiser and Deadeye attack them. BUCKY (kneels next to Jenny) Jen, I . . . . I . . . . I'm so sorry. Jenny backs away from him. Bucky moves closer to her and touches the red spot on her cheek. JENNY (upset) How could you? BUCKY Jen. JENNY I can't believe you. BUCKY Shhhh. It's OK. JENNY I trusted you, and how do you repay me? You punch me in the face. BUCKY (yells) Hey! (softenes his voice) I didn't mean to hit you. I . . . I thought you were a toad. I'm sorry. (puts out his hand to her) Forgive me, please. JENNY (puts her hand in his) I forgive you. Bucky pulls her up to her feet. BUCKY Bruiser, Willy, Blinky, Deadeye. Guard the ship. DEADEYE Aye. Jenny, Bucky, and Keetanna turn and run down one of the hallways in the toad ship. SCENE 10 - Somewhere in the toad mothership. Jenny, Bucky, and Keetanna run down a long hallway and straight into Toadborg. Keetanna stops in her tracks and screams. KEETANNA (surprised) Who the hell is he? JENNY Toadborg. TOADBORG Who else? Keetanna walks up to toadborg, then circles around him. JENNY Get away from him. He's dangerous. KEETANNA (paying absolutely no attention to Jenny's warning) Wow, this is so cool. TOADBORG (shocked) What!?!? KEETANNA You're a cyborg, right? TOADBORG Get to the point, mammal! KEETANNA I studied cyborg technologies, but I never thought I'd actually get to meet one. TOADBORG Is that so? KEETANNA Yes it is. Toadborg scratches his chin. TOADBORG (to himself) (to Keetanna) Would you like me to show you some more of our technologies? KEETANNA (excited) Boy, would I ever! BUCKY Keetanna, don't listen to him, it's a trap. Keetanna pays no attention to Bucky, but instead, turns and walks away with Toadborg. Bucky and Jenny try to follow them, but are ambushed by a fleet of storm toads. After a few minutes, Bucky is knocked unconscious and Jenny is pinned and has her head banged agains the floor and is knocked out. They are both taken prisoner.. SCENE 11 - Komplex's computer room Toadborg leads Keetanna into the toads main computer room Keetanna looks around in amazement. Komplex's face appears on ah uge screen. KEETANNA (looks up) Neato. TOADBORG (to Komplex) She seems to know about our technologies, Komplex, sir. KOMPLEX Well done, Toadborg. KEETANNA (to Komplex) So you're this Komplex guy everybody makes such a big deal about. KOMPLEX Am I everything you ever hoped for? KEETANNA (disappointed) No not really. KOMPLEX Really. KEETANNA Really, I mean c'mon, how can anybody make such a big deal over a computer. TOADBORG What!?!?! KEETANNA (to Toadborg) Yeah, that's right, all someone would have to do is put a virus on his main frame and it's bye - bye big, bad Komplex dude. KOMPLEX I'm not just any computer. I am the leader of the toads and the cause of such success among the toad empire. KEETANNA Oh, so you're the one who's responsible for the death of my family. I have a major bone to pick with you. KOMPLEX That was a very unfortunate accident. KEETANNA (mad) An accident. What do you think I am, an idiot? KOMPLEX No of course not. KEETANNA (sarcastically) OK. so you are responsible for the toad empire. But you are also the cause of a bunch of sniveling cowards that can't even stand up to a Baboon, let alone the most powerful war fleets in the galaxy. I mean how can you be so proud of a bunch of cowards. I know I wouldn't. KOMPLEX (grows angry) Not all of them are cowards. KEETANNA Like who, the Air Marshal? He's the biggest coward of them all. KOMPLEX Well then, the biggest coward of them all killed you family. KEETANNA (yells) What? Where is he? I'm gonna kill him! KOMPLEX Easy. Keetanna growls at him. KOMPLEX What about Toadborg? KEETANNA He's a cyborg. All of them are supposed to be fearless, but little does he know that his self confidence is gonn get him destroyed. KOMPLEX Oh, really. (teasingly) By who, you? KEETANNA By Bucky O'Hare. TOADBORG Oh, really. (hits the panel. A picture of Jenny and Bucky lying unconscious on the floor of a prison cell appears on the screen then disappears) How? KEETANNA What the hell is this? KOMPLEX You helped us accomplish what we've been trying to do for years. Thank you. Keetanna looks very surprised. Komplex and Toadborg both laugh. SCENE 12 - Righteous. Bruiser and Deadeye are fighting with the toads. Bruiser stands up, bangs on his chest, and yells. The toads all scream like girls, then turn and run. BRUISER Hey, this is fun. DEADEYE Aye, matie. WILLY (worried) I wonder what's keeping them. I hope they aren't in trouble or hurt. DEADEYE They're fine. SCENE 13 - Bucky and Jenny's prison cell. Bucky and Jenny slowly regain consciousness. Bucky groans, then sits up. Jenny rubs her neck, then scoots herself closer to Bucky. JENNY Bucky, where are we? BUCKY (looks around) I"m not sure, but, whatever happened, it looks like it was the Toads. JENNY (coming to her right mind) (shocked and worried) Keetanna! BUCKY Oh, shit. JENNY We have to get out of here and find her. Jenny pulls a bobby pin from her hair and picks the lock. The cell door swings wide open. Bucky and Jenny run out of their cell and go in search of Keetanna. SCENE 14 - Toad Computer Room. The toad Air Marshall runs up to Toadborg. AIR MARSHAL (trembling) There has been a security breach in the prison chambers. KEETANNA (laughs) See, I told you, you wouldn't get away with tins. TOADBORG What makes you so sure? Toadborg approaches Keetanna and fires a bold of energy at her. Keetanna jumps out of the way. Toadborg continually fires energy bolts at her, missing every time. After a few moments, the room is totally trashed. Bucky and Jenny burst into the room and begin to fire shots at Toadborg. Jenny hits him with a shot from her blaster, knocking him into the computers. Sparks fly everywhere. BUCKY Come on, lets go. They turn and head back to the Righteous. SCENE 15 - Outside the Righteous. Keetanna, Jenny, and Bucky run up to the ship, where the rest of the crew awaits their return. WILLY It's about time. BUCKY Let's get out of here. The Righteous Indignation leves the toad ship and heads back to the space station. SCENE 16 - Toad Mothership. Toadborg stands in front of Komplex. KOMPLEX Report. TOADBORG They escaped. KOMPLEX You're worthless, you scrap heap. TOADBORG It won't happen again. KOMPLEX See that it doens't. SCENE 17 - Space Station At the space station, Bucky Jenny, and Keetanna stand in front of Chairman Warner and the rest of the U.A.C. FRITZ (walks to Keetanna) Congratulations, Captain Keetanna. KEETANNA Thank you, Chairman. FRITZ As a SPACE Captain, it is your duty to defend the rights of all mammal kind. Do you understand? KEETANNA Yes, sir. (salutes) BUCKY (turns to Jenny) I'm really sorry about the way I acted today, and for hitting you. JENNY It's alright. I'm sorry for being such a bitch after you hit me. I know you didn't mean it. BUCKY (gently) I forgive you. Jenny kisses Bucky on the cheek. Then hugs him and he smiles. THE END.