Bucky O' Hare In The Bride of the Mask By Andrew Norris SCENE ONE David DuWitts' Office, San Francisco, Earth DR. DAVID DUWITT is sat in his office, with WILLY sitting in a nearby chair juggling a stress-reliever between his hands. DAVID looks up from his work and looks at his son. DAVID: Hey sport, is there anything I can get you? WILLY: (Sighs) No, I'm alright, thanks. It's just that these Kids-at- Work days mean I get behind in my studies. DAVID: But you're already ahead in most of your subjects; so why should you worry about falling behind? WILLY: It's just that...if I do fall behind, then I know that I'm just going to slip into the lower grades, and I don't wanna end up with Doug McKenna again, not after what happened in the last grade! DAVID moves from his desk and over to WILLY, sitting down next to him. DAVID: But he ended up getting expelled, didn't he? Anyway, Willy, you've got to realize that you can't keep running away from a problem like Doug. The best way to do it is just to tackle it head on. WILLY: You mean like a football game! DAVID: (Smiles) Yeah, that's it! You don't see any quarterbacks running away, do you? He ruffles his sons' hair, and WILLY just laughs as he tries to break free. A knock on the door splits them up, and DAVID goes to answer it while WILLY neatens his hair after dropping the stress-reliever to the floor. At the door is an ASSISTANT with a small box under her arm. ASSISTANT: Excuse me, Doctor, but these just arrived for you from Edge City. DAVID: (Takes the box and looks at it) What's this for? ASSISTANT: It's the paperwork that Dr. Neumann sent to you. He's placed everything you need in there. DAVID: OK, thank you. He shuts the door, and WILLY gets up to look at the box. WILLY: (Curiously) What's that? DAVID: Well, when I went to the Conference in Indianapolis a while ago, this psychiatrist called Dr. Neumann was giving a lecture on Neurology. I was interested, and he offered to send me some examples of his more unusual cases. He opens the box, and staring up at them is a small wooden mask, with a piece of metal running from the base of it to the nose area. There are blank areas for eyes and the mouth, but that is all. WILLY looks at it curiously, while DAVID reads a note on the inside of the box. DAVID: (Reads note) "The mask in this box is proof of what I have sent. Take care of it, as I feel that it would be in better hands with you. Best wishes, Dr. Arthur Neumann". WILLY: But why would he be creeped out enough to give it to you? DAVID: Probably just got sick of looking at it and wanted to get rid of it. You can have it if you want, Willy; I don't collect that sort of stuff. WILLY: Thanks, Dad. He balances the mask in his hand, looking at it as it looks at him. SCENE TWO DuWitt Residence, San Francisco, Night WILLY is sat on his bed, still looking at the mask. He jumps suddenly when JENNYS' voice is heard in his head. JENNY: (In his mind) < Willy, are you there, Willy? > WILLY pulls the memory-stone from his pocket and looks down at JENNY inside it. WILLY: What's the matter, Jenny? JENNY: < Willy, we've just come out of a tough battle with some Toads, and we need your help to fix our sensors. We can't get home without your help. > WILLY: You got it, Jen. I'm on my way! He replaces the memory-stone inside his pocket, and tucks the Mask inside his jacket. After switching on the photon accelerator, WILLY steps through his bedroom door into the engine-room of the Righteous Indignation. SCENE THREE Righteous Indignation, Space The outside of the ship has some burn-marks, and the engine-room itself has taken some damage. BRUISER and BLINKY are present to greet WILLY. BRUISER: Good ta see ya again, Willy. Da troubles' up top with Bucky. WILLY: (Surprised) Never mind what's up there, what happened down here? BRUISER: (Awkwardly) Uh, can I help it if I can't stand still when Buckys' doin' his high-flying tricks? BLINKY: Engineer DuWitt need not worry; humble robot can repair below- deck damage while humble engineer repairs sensors, yes? WILLY: Thanks, Blinky. That way, we can take care of two things at once. He moves to the top deck, where BUCKY and JENNY are trying to make sense of the mess made over the console; a huge mess of fire- extinguiser foam and wires. JENNY looks over as WILLY walks in. JENNY: There you are, Willy! Do you think you can help us? WILLY: Gee, and I thought the engine-room was bad! What happened here? JENNY: It caught fire, but Bucky put it out, only now we've got a hell of a mess that needs clearing up. WILLY: Don't worry, I'll take care of it. He moves over to a cabinet where the tools are kept, but doesn't see the Mask slip out from his jacket and onto the floor. SOMETIME LATER... The console has been cleaned and repaired, and the Righteous Indignation is returning to Genus for repairs. JENNY and BUCKY are sat at their seats with WILLY watching from behind. BUCKY: Standby for re-entry, everybody. Fasten your seatbelts! BRUSIER: (From below) But we ain't got no seatbelts! WILLY: Just hold on tight, Bruiser! The ship tips downward as they prepare for re-entry. As they do so, the Mask gently slips quietly along the sloping floor towards JENNYS' feet. The frigate has re-entered the atmosphere and is working its' way through the clouds. BUCKY: (Into radio) Control, this is the Righteous Indignation requesting permission to land, over. NASS: (Over radio) Control here, Bucky. You've got permission to land. Use Bay 1-C as you come in. BUCKY: Roger, Control. O' Hare out. They level out, and the Righteous comes to a smooth landing outside the Genus Control Centre. BUCKY: (Sighs) I'm going out for debriefing, if anyone needs me. JENNY: Do you want me to come? BUCKY: No thanks, Jenny. I'll be back as quick as I can, I promise. He clambers down the ladder, and WILLY follows suit. I have to get going too, there's some stuff I need to dig up. JENNY: About what, Willy? Is it schoolwork or just curiosity? WILLY: Curiosity, mostly. My dad gave me something from a friend of his, and I wanna check it out. JENNY: OK, take care, and thanks for helping us out. WILLY just nods and clambers down the ladder. JENNY is also about to get up, when she feels something against her foot. Looking down, she sees the Mask, and slowly picks it up. JENNY: (Calling over) Willy? Is this yours? There is no reply, but the sound of the photon accelerator whining indicates that he's gone home. JENNY stands up and stares at the Mask curiously while pacing about the cockpit. SCENE FOUR DuWitt Residence, San Francisco, Earth WILLY dips his hand into his jumper, only to find that the Mask has gone. He clicks his fingers angrily and makes a noise of discontent. WILLY: You idiot, Willy! You left it on the Righteous! He slams the lever of the photon accelerator down angrily, and marches towards the door. SCENE FIVE The Righteous Indignation JENNY notices a flash of green sparkle move across the inside of the mask, and pulls it closer to her face. When it is close enough, the Mask suddenly fuses with her face, stretching around to the base of her skull. IN THE ENGINE ROOM... WILLY marches through and looks at BRUISER and BLINKY. WILLY: Have either of you seen a wooden mask lying around the ship? BLINKY: Negative, Engineer DuWitt. Is the mask of which you describe a posession of yours? BRUSIER: Yeah, coz if it is, I'll find it for ya. A large tornado spinning rapidly suddenly lurches from the bridge, waking up DEADEYE, who spins around in his chair angrily to see who woke him up. DEADEYE: (Cranky) Hey! What be all the ruckus, laddies? The tornado suddenly screeches to a halt, revealing MASK-JENNY. She is basically JENNY, but with bright-orange hair, solid-gold armour and beige fur, although her face is completely green. MASK-JENNY shoves a cigar inside DEADEYES' beak and lights it. MASK-JENNY: Smoking...is hazardous to your health! The cigar suddenly explodes, making DEADEYE lurch back in surprise. MASK-JENNY moves over to BRUISER and WILLY, while BLINKY moves over to assist DEADEYE. WILLY: (Worried) Who, or what, are you? MASK-JENNY: (Ponders) Names' Jenny, Jenny Jenny Jenny! Pilot for the ship and I'm also a part-time radiator! WILLY: Jenny, what has happened to you? MASK-JENNY: Well, I don't like to brag, but the most memorable thing in my life was... DEADEYE: (Interrupts angirly) Alright! Disturbin' a pirates' nap is one thing, but shovin' firecrackers down his beak is another! He rolls up his sleeves and presents his fists. DEADEYE: Sorry, Jenny-girl, but I'm doin' it for the sake of pirate tradition! MASK-JENNY does nothing, but presents a small box in front of her, perhaps no larger than a thimble. DEADEYE looks at it curiously, and sometime passes, until part of the box suddenly opens, and DEADEYE is suddenly hit by an enormous boxing-glove on a spring from inside the box. MASK-JENNY: And I did that for the hell of it! Hah-hah-hah! She spins rapidly around into a tornado once more, and exits through the hatchway. As BLINKY, BRUISER and WILLY help DEADEYE once again, a shadow watches MASK-JENNY heading inside the Control Tower. Stepping partly into the light, the figure turns out to be FRANKENSTOAT. FRANKENSTOAT: A mask that triggers uncontrollable insanity, eh? This should make interesting research! He slips back into the shadows, leaving only the sound of panic inside the Righteous Indignation. INSIDE GENUS CONTROL TOWER... CORPORAL NASS and BUCKY are speaking to each other, unaware of the chaos on the lower floors. NASS: So, if the Toads have increased patrols in that sector, that probably means that they're up to something. BUCKY: Toads are nearly always up to something. It could be that they're gathering strength, but then why waste resources on doubled- patrols? NASS: I don't know, Captain. I don't like it anymore than you do, and until Rygars' new battleship is launched, we're going to have to rely on what we can find; hence the commissioning of Colonel Darings' saucer. BUCKY: True, but I just hope that the battleship can be launched before... Suddenly, the elevator doors burst wide open, and MASK-JENNY looks around insanely , finding only NASS and BUCKY, who are both surprised by the sudden entrance. MASK-JENNY: Here's Jenny! She steps forward quickly so she is just a few inches from BUCKY, who looks at her strangely. BUCKY: (Bemused) Jenny, is this some kind of a joke? MASK-JENNY: No, this is a conversation, this is a joke! She pulls a cream-pie from seemingly nowhere and splats it square in BUCKYS' face. As he cleans it off, MASK-JENNY pulls out a soda-water bottle and squirts a spray of water into BUCKYS' face. MASK-JENNY: Let me help you get that off. NASS: My thoughts exactly! He charges at MASK-JENNY and tries to pull off the Mask. However, the more he pulls, he only seems to be pulling the edge of the Mask off rather than the whole thing, which still clings at MASK-JENNYS' face. MASK-JENNY: (Strains) Buddy, I hope you know a good plastic-surgeon, because I'm going to need one after this. BUCKY grabs NASS by his waist and eventually the entire Mask reforms into its' original wooden state. JENNY remains upright for the moment, but then collapses unconcious. As BUCKY catches her in his arms, WILLY and BRUISER enter with an unconcious DEADEYE draped between them. All of them suddenly stare at the wooden mask in confusion. SCENE SIX Watership Hospital, The Next Day JENNY and DEADEYE are in a ward, but in seperate beds. Between them is BUCKY and BLINKY, who look up as WILLY and DR. KENNER enter. WILLY is holding several sheets of paper in his hand. JENNY: (To Kenner) Well, what did you find out about the Mask? KENNER: Not what I found out, Miss Jenny, but more what I didn't find out. BUCKY: You mean to say that its' defied all tests? KENNER: (Nods) Impervious to X-Rays, Ultraviolet, Infrared, and as for taking samples, you can see for yorself. He presents a surgical knife and a coping saw, both of which have been severed by something sharper. WILLY moves over to sit between JENNY and DEADEYE. DEADEYE: So, what did ye find out about that thing, Willy lad? WILLY: I looked through the research Dr. Neumann gave my Dad, and that Mask is meant to be a prison for Loki, the trickster god of Norse legends. DEADEYE: Woah! I got everything up to "prison", there, lad. You might wanna slow down. WILLY: OK (Shows Deadeye the papers) On Earth, about 1,000 years ago, there were Gods worshipped in Norway, right? BUCKY: Right. WILLY: One of them was Loki, who played tricks on other Gods. Like Balder, the wisest God in the legends, who was killed when Loki tricked a blind God into killing him. JENNY: And where does the Mask fit into this? WILLY: From what we can tell, Loki was eventually banished from Valhalla into a place called Ragnorok. I think that Ragnorok is actually this Mask... DEADEYE: (Finishes his sentence) ...And whoever puts it on gets Lokis' trickery! KENNER: But if that is the case, why are the tricks more subtle this time? As you said, Mr. DuWitt, Loki actually killed people in his tricks. DEADEYE: Aye, but if ol' Willy hadn't intervened here, then Jenny could've killed me, too! KENNER: If that's the case, I'll have the Mask locked up where it can do no harm. DEADEYE: Aye, but I feel kinda stupid just lyin' here! BUCKY: Don't worry, Deadeye; Natalie could use the exercise. JENNY: Speaking of which, where is she? KENNER: I saw her wandering around, I'll go find her. He moves out, looking down at his papers. ELSEWHERE IN THE HOSPITAL... A NURSE has left the Mask on a trolley outside the X-Ray room. As the NURSE goes back in the room, SECONDARY-GUNNER NATALIE FARRELL appears around the corner with some flowers for DEADEYE. She suddenly notices the Mask lying on the trolley and picks it up. NATALIE: Hello, where did you come from? She looks at it curiously, and then at the underside. Just as she does, DR. KENNER, not looking where he is going, bumps into her and the Mask suddenly latches onto NATALIES' face. DR. KENNER steps back as the infusion takes place, and is knocked down by another tornado which speeds into JENNYS' ward and screeches to a halt between the two beds. MASK-NATALIE also has a green face, but her hair is now scarlet, and her suit is bright yellow. MASK-NATALIE: Howdy, partners! Miss me? DEADEYE: If I had me guns, I wouldn't miss, lassie! MASK-NATALIE: (Playfully) Ah, c'mon, Ducky. I was going to introduce you to my friend, Rose. JENNY: Who's Rose? MASK-NATALIE pulls a rose from her pocket, which is planted neatly inside a terracotta flowerpot. MASK-NATALIE suddenly smashed this flowerpot over JENNYS' head, and a clump of dirt stays atop of JENNYS' head holding the flower in place. MASK-NATALIE: Her! Thats' Rose! FRANKENSTOAT: (From outside) And I'm Frankenstoat. FRANKENSTOAT pulls himself in through the window, and BUCKY draws his gun. FRANKENSTOAT, however, seems more interested in MASK-NATALIE, who just stares at him insanely. MASK-NATALIE: (Points at Frankenstoat) Ah, you must be the stinking, no-good wacko, right? FRANKENSTOAT: On the contrary, I'm far from it, my dear. I take a shower every morning, but I am indeed very bad. BUCKY: What do you want, Frankenstoat? Come to steal some more test- tubes? FRANKENSTOAT: Actually, Captain, I came to take that Mask off of your hands. Now if you don't mind, the Mask, please. They all just point to MASK-NATALIE, who is playing with the light- switch. FRANKENSTOAT rolls his eyes and marches up to MASK-NATALIE. BUCKY draws out a gun, but can't fire without hitting MASK-NATALIE. FRANKENSTOAT: (Sneers) That's right, Captain, let your friends get in the way of justice. MASK-NATALIE: (Singing in Elvis Presleys' voice) He ain't no corner rabbit and he ain't no friend of mine. Everyone expects FRANKENSTOAT to toss another vial to the floor and disappear, but instead he is teleported away. SCENE SEVEN Control Room, The Toad Mothership, Space MASK-NATALIE is being carried in the arms of FRANKENSTOAT, who is struggling to hold her up as they appear from the teleporter. MASK-NATALIE: (Speaks in normal voice) If that's hurting you, how about a piggyback ride? She changes position quickly so that FRANKENSTOAT is carrying her on his back, but this is too much for the scientist to bear, and he collapses from the sudden weight. MASK-NATALIE: (Whines) Ah, you're no fun! FRANKENSTOAT: I'm a scientist; I'm not SUPPOSED to be fun! KOMPLEX: Maybe not, Doctor, but it seems that our guest is certainly energetic. KOMPLEXS' monitor whirs into view along an overhead track, and looks down at MASK-NATALIE. KOMPLEX: So, the girl from the future is back. MASK-NATALIE: And front, don't forget that! KOMPLEX: Indeed, but your...mask...seems to be quite interesting. MASK-NATALIE: Hmm, is that a new kind of relaxation programme, because I could go for some inter-resting myself! KOMPLEX: I mean that your mischievous ways can be of use to us, my dear. Imagine it, a production line of masks that can manipulate emotions; breed an army of super-stormtoads; have an invincible fighting-force at your side! And it can all be yours, my dear, if you give us the mask AND your allegiance! MASK-NATALIE: (Ponders) Yeah, an invisible fighting-fort might just be useful! OK, here's my allegiance. She pulls down a blind with the Stars and Stripes on, and stands in front of it with her right hand over her heart. MASK-NATALIE: (Deep American accent) I pledge allegiance to the flag of these United States of... FRANKENSTOAT rolls up the blind and sets it to one side before MASK- NATALIE can continue. FRANKENSTOAT: (Angrily) You don't get it, do you? MASK-NATALIE: (Normal voice) Yes, I do! I get it from Deadeye! KOMPLEX: (Sighs) Let's start again. MASK-NATALIE: OK. She mimics a rewinding tape and moves about in reverse to her previous actions and stops after FRANKENSTOAT has collapsed from the piggyback. MASK-NATALIE: (Whines) Ah, you're no fun! KOMPLEX: Then why not show us what you mean by fun? MASK-NATALIE pulls an enormous wooden mallet from her trouser-pocket and hits FRANKENSTOAT hard on the head with it. The impact was so great that he has been pressed right through the floor and the ceiling of the lower floor. MASK-NATALIE: (Tuts) And I thought the only Hammerheads were sharks. KOMPLEX: So, tell me, Miss Farrell. At the moment, how are you feeling? MASK-NATALIE: With my hands. KOMPLEX: (Getting irritated) No, what's on your mind? MASK-NATALIE: A mask? KOMPLEX: The Mask is on your head, Miss Farrell, your mind is what is inside your head, and what is on it? MASK-NATALIE: Oh, I see! Well I don't really know, because I've never cracked my head open to have a look. KOMPLEX: (Groans) Exactly what goes on in your mind, then? MASK-NATALIE: Only my hairdresser knows for sure (!) SCENE EIGHT The Righteous Indignation The frigate is approaching the Toad Mothership, with WILLY working the guns in DEADEYES' absence. BLINKY is helping BUCKY on the bridge to keep an eye out for any Toad patrols. BLINKY: Humble robot fails to see what interest a Godlike imprisonment could be to KOMPLEX. BUCKY: (Concerned) It's not what's in the Mask, Blinky. I reckon that KOMPLEX wants it to make an army of Super-Toads. BLINKY: (Shivers) Humble android is afraid that KOMPLEX will succeed. BUCKY: Don't worry, Blinky. What KOMPLEX doesn't realize is that only the person wearing the Mask can take it off. MASK-NATALIE suddenly appears in the room, after being teleported from the Mothership. A small note is pinned to her chest while she just looks around. WILLY is about to remove it, but BUCKY prods it with a stick, and finds that a bear-trap was concealed in MASK-NATALIES' chest. BUCKY removes the note and reads it. BUCKY: (Reads note) "You Mammals are more cunning than I thought. You can have your mad wench back; but I'll remember her in therapy. KOMPLEX" WILLY suddenly lurches for MASK-NATALIE and yanks hard at the Mask, tearing it off NATALIES' face. She stumbles slightly, but eventually finds her feet. NATALIE: (Tired) Thanks, Willy. Now that that's over, what do we do with it now? WILLY: I'm going to do something I should've done not too long ago, Natalie. I'm going to put this Mask where it belongs, where it can't do any more harm. SCENE NINE Edge City, America, the following day In an apartment block, a spindly man with brown hair named STANLEY IPKISS is sat in his apartment watching various cartoons, when a parcel is dropped through his door. STANLEY: (Mumbles) Funny, I don't remember sending off for anything. He opens the parcel, and staring back at him is the Mask. Unfortunately for STANLEY, he is holding it so close to his face that it suddenly fuses with his face, and the morphing suddenly changes into a violent tornado spinning around the apartment... THE END