Bucky O' Hare In Collapse By Andrew Norris SCENE ONE The Toad Mothership TOAD AIR MARSHAL arrives in front of the reinforced cage, with banging and wailing from within. THE STORMTOAD on duty looks nervous. AIR MARSHAL: It's time. STORMTOAD: (Sighs with relief) So, we can finally get rid of it? Where do we drop it off? AIR MARSHAL: Where the Mammal Empire is still settling in, Planet Monotane. The groaning inside the cell intensifies at the mention of the word "Monotane". AIR MARSHAL: Be ready to drop on the command, soldier. STORMTOAD: (Salutes) Yes, sir. TOAD AIR MARSHAL scurries away, afraid of the noises. SCENE TWO Genus Control Centre CORPORAL NASS is on his coffee break, leaning back lazily in his chair. Suddenly, the monitors begin bleeping. NASS: (To himself) What the...? Typing a few keys, several images of pale-yellow spaceships appear, looking like flying saucers. NASS: Frelling hell! UFO's! Computer, analyze! COMPUTER: (Droning voice) Craft analysis: Total 160 craft in fleet. All craft contain bipedial lifeforms, no further information available. NASS: They ARE UFO's! I've got to warn the Council, they could be hostile! He clumsily trips up out of the chair and grabs a black tin hat nearby. Placing it on his head, he runs out of the control room and towards the elevators. SCENE THREE Planet Monotane COMMANDER DOGSTAR is on Monotane clearing the wreckage of the Dalek factory. Helping him are LT. WOLF, RUMBLEBEE and PITSTOP PETE, who are moving pieces of metal onto a giant scrapheap, leaving just the rubble to sort. DOGSTAR: Those Daleks sure know how to reinforce their buildings, don't they? RUMBLEBEE: Such armour-plating appears superfluous for such a mediocre building, bzz, bzz. WOLF: That is unless the Daleks liked to be prepared. PETE: Yup. DOGSTAR: Well, we've sorted the metal, now let's sort out the brickwork, eh? They move to the pile of rubble, but RUMBLEBEE suddenly stops. RUMBLEBEE: I detect a Toad craft approaching, bzz, bzz. WOLF: (Cracking knuckles) Whereabouts? RUMBLEBEE: Directly overhead, bzz, bzz. The Toad Mothership appears overhead, and hovers in mid-air. As it hovers, its' shadow blackens out the land like an eclipse, while the TOAD AIR MARSHAL speaks over a loudspeaker. AIR MARSHAL: (Over tannoy) Mammals! Creating an Empire will not make you stronger! And to prove it, we plan to claim Monotane by any means necessary! DOGSTAR: (Threatening) What is that supposed to mean?! We have far more planets under our wing than you do! AIR MARSHAL: True, but we are far more advanced in genetic mutation! He was once Wing Commander Sludge, but now he is...The Negatoad! From an opening in the Mothership jumps a massive green creature with massive yellow pustules over its' body. Although the same height as a normal Toad, the creature is savage-like in appearance and is dressed in rags. WOLF: The Negatoad? Whatever happened to the Terror Toads? AIR MARSHAL: Mind your own business! Negatoad, attack! THE NEGATOAD gives out a throaty wail, and charges towards PITSTOP PETE. Using nothing but its' fingers, THE NEGATOAD wounds PITSTOP PETE, cutting his chest. WOLF: (Yells) Pete! Punching THE NEGATOAD hard in the face, WOLF causes one of the pustules to burst. To WOLFs' horror, the pustule contains corrosive acid, which eats away at his knuckle dusters and burns some of his fur. WOLF: Great, now he has acid! What next, concealed daggers? THE NEGATOAD spits out a dagger that has been concealed in his mouth. DOGSTAR: (Grumbles) You had to say it didn't you? RUMBLEBEE converts into his ground-cannon mode and fires the dagger from THE NEGATOADS' hand. In retaliation, THE NEGATOAD stampedes towards RUMBLEBEE, knocking him flat into the ground. RUMBLEBEE: (Warped) Systems down to 32%, bzz, bzz. PETE smashes THE NEGATOAD hard in the face, causing the black eye from WOLFs' punch to widen, and its' nose to spew green blood. PETE: (Smirks) Heh heh heh. THE NEGATOAD, in a last bid for victory, reclaims its' dagger and tosses it towards DOGSTAR. DOGSTAR quickly dodges out of the way and fires a stun maser at THE NEGATOAD, knocking him unconcious. DOGSTAR: (Points to Dalek remains) Build a cage out of that metal quickly! As he speaks, the Toad Mothership withdraws, while TOAD AIR MARSHAL thinks to himself. AIR MARSHAL: This won't be the end of it, Dogstar. You may have defeated just one of them, but let's see how Genus does against an army of them, shall we? LATER, ON MONOTANE... THE NEGATOAD has been concealed inside pieces of scrap metal welded together into a primitive container. A prison ship has arrived and is taking the cage away, while DOGSTAR and the others return to the Indefatigable. WOLF: I just don't understand, sir. DOGSTAR: (Raises an eyebrow) What's that then, old boy? WOLF: The Toads have genetically developed a creature more advanced than the Terror Toad, so why drop it here? DOGSTAR scratches his chin in thought. WOLF: (Worried) You don't suppose it was a decoy, do you? DOGSTAR: I hope not, Wolf. The last thing we need is to leave Monotane unguarded. Besides, Bucky'll be back from Aldebaran soon, and Mimi is still on Genus as well. I'm sure if the Toads are planning something, we can deal with it. SCENE FOUR Board Room, UAC HQ, Genus CORPORAL NASS has the tin-hat balanced on his head as he speaks to the council. Present are FRITZ, GRIFF, CLAIRE SHEFFIELD and COUNCILLOR SMIDGEN. FRITZ: And you say that several UFOs' are heading towards Genus from the vicinity of the Occultas Galaxy? NASS: (Nervously) Yes, sir. I tried to contact Occultas but they didn't respond. SMIDGEN: I don't like it, Chairman. You don't suppose that it could be a series of new craft the Toads are working on? NASS: With all respect, Councillor, these craft are definitely not of Toad origin. FRITZ: But we can't be too sure, Corporal. Keep monitoring them and see what happens. NASS salutes and turns to leave. SMIDGEN looks at FRITZ worriedly. SMIDGEN: What if he's right? Supposing they aren't the Toads? GRIFF: Probably Commies, no doubt. They've been to quiet for my liking! FRITZ: Maybe, but until we can be sure, we treat it as a Toad matter. Once we can dismiss them, then we can move onto other suspects. SMIDGEN: (Counts on fingers) The Communists, The Daleks, The Fourth Reich, Space pirates... GRIFF: It could even be The Occultas Galaxy themselves, for all we know. An alarm chimes and DOGSTAR appears on the TV screen behind them. DOGSTAR: (Over TV) Commander Dogstar reporting, sir. We've just been attacked by the Toads on Monotane, but luckily we've dealt with the matter. FRITZ: (Nods once) Thank you, Commander. They break communication, and FRITZ looks at SMIDGEN. FRITZ: That explains it. The Toads try to distract us on Monotane while they attack on Genus! GRIFF: (Worried) That still doesn't explain why Occultas hasn't done anything. SCENE FIVE The Forbidden Star, The Occultas Galaxy The palace has now become a massive pile of rubble, with just a ruined tower still standing. All the buildings are smouldering and burning, with the landscape strewn of corpses and ruins. PRIME-ELDER ASSYRIA II appears from the rubble, and gazes at the destruction around her. ASSYRIA: (Stammers) M...M...My home... No matter where she turns, there is nothing but a war-torn landscape about her. Walking forward, she notices the body of FLEET-ADMIRAL ALDERON KAHILL on the ground. Spinning around, someone shoots at her from the shadows. ASSYRIA collapses dead alongside the mangled corpse. VOICE: (From shadows) Sorry, your majesty, but we can't reveal ourselves yet. From the ruined tower, ASSYRIAS' TRANSLATOR, partly-wounded, tries to make a run for a UFO parked nearby, but he too is gunned down. VOICE: We have cleared the Galaxy of spectators, we are ready to begin the invasion of Genus...as you wish. SCENE SIX Genus Control Centre The Righteous Indignation slowly touches down on a landing pad, and BUCKY steps out along with JENNY and WILLY. BUCKY: (Sighs) Ah well, time to make out the usual report. WILLY: Jenny and I'll tell Fritz about why Bucky disappeared. JENNY: But only in minor detail, you understand. BUCKY: (Nods) Yeah, I know. As they part company, BUCKY enters through the two massive doors and finds the foyer alive with commotion, with TECHNICIANS running back and forth with paperwork. As BUCKY calls for the elevator, he notices the RECEPTIONIST (A female hare) busy at work. RECEPTIONIST: (Into phone) Genus Control, please hold. Genus Control, please hold. BUCKY: (To Receptionist) Morning, Shaw. SHAW: Morning, Captain! (Into phone) Genus Control, please hold. Genus Control, please hold. BUCKY'S elevator arrives and he steps in. Once on the 11th floor, he steps out to see CORPORAL NASS at work by his console, with the UFO's visible on screen outside of Orwell Station. BUCKY: Nass? NASS: (Sharply) Shh, Captain! This is delicate work! Stepping closer, BUCKY notices that NASS is trying to home in on the UFO's frequency. After finding the correct frequency, he flicks on the radio. NASS: (Into radio) Vessels at 1-2-7-0 Blue, this is Genus Control. Please state your business, we mean you no harm. He gets no response, and BUCKY leans closer. BUCKY: (Whispers) What's going on? NASS: (Replies) Unidentified Flying Objects, but the Imperial Council have made a suspect list of the owners. He hands BUCKY a list, and BUCKY reads it. The list reads: 1) Toads 2) Communists 3) Daleks 4) Occultas Galaxy 5) Space Pirates 6) Fourth Reich BUCKY: And you think the UFO's are any of... An alarm suddenly goes off, and the Toad Mothership appears on the screen. NASS: This looks more like it! TOAD AIR MARSHAL appears on the screen, hiding lies beneath his teeth. AIR MARSHAL: (Over radio) Attention all Mammals! We have liberated Monotane from your control, and we feel like liberating Genus from you! And no amount of flashy new spacecraft can change our minds! But as he speaks, the Toad Mothership comes under heavy fire from the UFO's. The Mothership is partially ablaze, and some of the Toads, including TOAD AIR MARSHAL, are evacutaing to the Escape Pods and Cruisers. Once the last cruiser is safely away, the Mothership suddenly explodes into several pieces. BUCKY: (Surprised) Well...that was dealt with quickly. SCENE SEVEN Board Room, UAC HQ JENNY and WILLY are still being debriefed by GRIFF and FRITZ when a newsreport comes on replaying the destruction of the Mothership. REPORTER: (Off-camera) It seems that these invaders actually want to make peace after destroying a short-lived threat by the Toad Empire. It is because of this that Imperator-General Rygar Blade has given the strange craft permission to land on Genusian soil. FRITZ: Well, Griff. At least we can cross the Toads off the list. JENNY: But why won't they make contact with Genus? That's what bothers me. GRIFF: I'll tell you why! Because those infernal Commies are planning to stage a revolution on this planet! Don't forget the Beetlegusian Soviet of 3070! FRITZ: (Annoyed) Griff, will you please get it into your head that the Communists are not trying to attack us! Although we don't agree with their politics, at least they've agreed to not to interfere! WILLY: Plus the fact that they're not as authoritarian as they used to be! The UFO's begin their descent through the atmosphere, all captured by the cameras. Just as they are about to land, SUB-LIEUTENANT ANDREW NORRIS walks in and notices the UFO's. ANDREW: (Firmly) What are those on the TV? JENNY: Unidentified Flying Objects that just repelled a rather- pointless Toad attack. FRITZ: And I have given them permission to land in order to thank them. ANDREW: You need to get those craft of Genus soil at once! GRIFF: So, they are Communists? ANDREW: (Shakes his head) No, but I have seen them before. FRITZ: Daleks? ANDREW shakes his head again. ANDREW: They are an aggressive race that were still in effect during my time on Earth, and those are the exact same craft. GRIFF: (Annoyed) Never mind the details, who are they?! A loudspeaker on one of the UFO's begins to speak. It is so loud that it can be heard from the boardroom itself. VOICE: (Over loudspeaker) Attention all Genusians, we come today in an interest that our ancestors had in your planet as well as others in the Aniverse many years ago. JENNY: (To Andrew) The Doctor? ANDREW: No, just get the Home Guard out there and do what you can before its' too late! VOICE: Your stone-age planet has many connections with Earth as we understand, and it is for this reason that you are all to bow to your new rulers, the Martian Empire! ANDREW: It's too late! Each UFO opens up, and five large tripod machines clamber out, similar to the machine on Noctur 4. Inside each one is a bronze robot fashioned similar to a Roman centurion. Each robot has a single bionic eye and claws for hands. CENTURION #1: (Deep, buzzing voice) Death to all who defy us! They begin to fire lasers about the place, burning fields and towns as they go. Immediately, the UAC personnel retreat to the ships waiting at Genus Control. Those too far off are captured by the Centurion Robots pouring from the UFO's, and placed under guard. FRITZ: (To the citizens) Stop running! There is no need for panic! We will pull through! He notices several Home-Guard soldiers retreating as the tank explodes from the impact of a Martian heat-ray. FRITZ too finds himself running away along with GRIFF, as well as various other politicians trying to escape the Martians. INSIDE FIREBALL XL6... FRITZ, GRIFF, COUNCILLOR SMIDGEN, COUNCILLOR AGNEW and CLAIRE SHEFFIELD pile in, surprising BUTCH, HANNAH and AMD-4 who are all inside, oblivious to what's going on. AMD-4: Imperical-Chancellor Warner, please state your business. FRITZ: (Frantically) We're being invaded and we need to evacuate to Warren! He begins to set the controls, but BUTCH tries to hold him back. BUTCH: We can't leave without Norris! He's the only one who can pilot this ship! FRITZ: There are other civilian ships left at the Centre, he'll catch up with us! He fires up the XL6 and launches too quickly, with the Righteous Indignation, Screaming Mimi and Fearless following, most of them carrying civilian passengers, some of which are still trying to clamber aboard as they take off. The Martians suddenly spot the escaping ships. CENTURION #1: They're escaping! CENTURION #2: Head for their spaceport, radar detects that there are civilians still trying to escape. Sure enough, he is right. Three tripods surround the centre, where the remaining citizens are clambering into the remaining shuttles and freighters. Being in close range, the tripods are able to destroy some of the cruisers before they have left the atmosphere, but some are able to elude destruction. CENTURION #1: Let them go, concentrate on the vulnerable. From the tripods fold out several snake-like metallic tentacles. These tentacles pick up three people at once and place them in a small prison cell built into the tripod bodies, protected by a fold-out cage door in the ceiling. CENTURION #3: (Laughs) Like catching air-bubbles in a fizzy drink! Soon, all of the civilians around Genus Control have either escaped, been captured or killed. As the tripods move away, a patrol of three CENTURIONS nearby notice ANDREW skulking nearby. CENTURION #4: Hey! I know that guy! ANDREW doesn't notice the CENTURIONS advancing on him, as ANDREW is shocked to find the XL6 gone. ANDREW: (To himself) They stole my ship and left me here to rot! Of all the backstabbing, two-faced, sons of... A CENTURION suddenly restrains him as the other two examine him carefully. CENTURION #4: It IS him! Old Chuck Bodgers in the flesh! ANDREW: OK, so you've found me. First prize for the eagle-eyed Centurion. CENTURION #5: The Queen will want to see you, Bodgers! ANDREW: (Raises an eyebrow) Queen? What happened to the Princess? CENTURION #4: You'll find out soon enough. SCENE EIGHT The Indefatigable DOGSTAR is piloting the ship back to Genus, when he notices the entire fleet heading towards them. WOLF: (Points at ships) What goes on there, sir? DOGSTAR: I've no idea, Wolf, but I'm going to find out. He switches on the radio. DOGSTAR: Commander Dogstar to Righteous Indignation; what's going on, Bucky? Is there a spaceship convention on? BUCKY: (Over radio) Dogstar, Genus has been invaded by Martians... DOGSTAR: (Interrupts) Martians?! BUCKY: Yeah, and Fritz has ordered us to evacuate to Warren. DOGSTAR: Why not the Occultas Galaxy? Surely they'd give us shelter! FRITZ: (Over radio) Commander, when I say we evacuate to Warren, we evacuate to Warren! Kapesh? DOGSTAR: (Hurt) Yes, sir. He spins the frigate around and joins the oncoming cavalcade bound for Warren. SCENE NINE Martian Central UFO, Genus ANDREW is led inside the UFO by the three CENTURIONS, past lavishly- decorated controls fit more for a palace than a spacecraft. ANDREW is halted in front of a stairwell leading to a throne. The FIGURE on the throne is concealed in shadow, and looks down at the group below her. CENTURION #6: Your majesty, we have captured Chuck Bodgers! FIGURE: (Sly, effeminate) Are you Chuck Bodgers? ANDREW: I *was* Chuck Bodgers, but I retired years ago. Now how are you? Are you perchance Princess Arthuce? FIGURE: (Chuckles) I am not a Princess nor Arthuce. As the Centurions have explained, I am a Queen. But I was Arthuces' sister... The throne is illuminated, to reveal her. She is a biped with completely black skin, snow-white hair and two purple eyes. Lacking a nose and mouth, her legs are covered by a translucent purple skirt, and she dons a golden tiara as well as a solid-gold brassiere. ANDREW tries hard not to blush as she appears. FIGURE: Queen Shimorr of the Martian Empire. ANDREW: But why attack Genus? We haven't attacked you. SHIMORR: Centuries ago, we sent a Martian scout to this universe to examine signs of life. It landed on what you call Noctur 4 and sent enough information to plan a full-scale invasion. ANDREW: (Mockingly) Did you get tired of fighting Earth and Venus? SHIMORR: Due to many pacts made with Earth, we cannot conquer it without starting a galactic war, and we invaded this galaxy to expand our Imperial Forces so we are capable to conquering Venus and wiping out their pathetic Confederancy! ANDREW: And so far, you've only been able to acomplish some Methane farms on Uranus and some mineral-mills you confiscated from Venus. SHIMORR: (Interrupts) Not necessarily, Bodgers. We have successfully landed robot-miners on the asteroids in Saturns' rings, meaning that we've enough minerals to expand our quantity of Centurions considerably. ANDREW: Meaning that you've enough horsepower to take over a universe unprepared for outside interference. CENTURION #4: That is once the Mammal and Toad Empires have been destroyed, like we did to the Occultas Galaxy. ANDREW: And that explains why they didn't make contact! CENTURION #5: I thought every strategist knew that to win a war, you have to isolate your enemy. SHIMORR: But enough about us, I want to know about you, Bodgers. I want to know what happened when you disappeared from Earth, as well as how you got here. ANDREW folds his arms, reluctant to speak. SHIMORR: (Raises an eyebrow) I didn't say that I want you to talk, Bodgers; I was referring to this. She points to a large machine with wires from it connected to a headpiece on what appears to be an electric chair. CENTURION #6: (Confused) The mind-probe, your majesty? SHIMORR: Yes, the most infallable of all interrogation methods! You see, Bodgers, that you don't have to wait for Judgement Day...you're already in it! THE END