“Star Quack” By Andrew Norris Based on the story "Star Quack meets Splash Gordon" by Andrew Norris and Natalie Farrell SCENE ONE - The Righteous Indignation The tiny frigate is attacking a small select group of Double-Bubbles in some remote sector of the Aniverse. Thanks to DEADEYE'S swift aim and JENNY'S piloting technique, the battle appears to be in favour of the Mammals. DEADEYE: This'll teach ya, ya wart-ridden fly-suckers! Eat hot ions! He blasts his way through two more Double-Bubbles that were attempting to ram the ship from the front. BUCKY: Keep blasting, Deadeye! It looks like we're going to win! As the number of Double-Bubbles deplete, nobody notices a Toad Cruiser looming nearby, with a strange-looking weapon locked onto the Righteous Indignation. On the bridge is TOADBORG, with COLONEL GEORGE SYLVESTER at his side. SYLVESTER: Cannon is targetted and locked onto the frigate, Commander Toadborg. TOADBORG: Good, Colonel. Open fire on my command! SYLVESTER: (Alarmed) But, Toadborg, mighty KOMPLEX ordered that Captain O'Hare was to be captured alive! TOADBORG: Are you going to obey, Colonel, or do I have to crush your tiny skull myself?! SYLVESTER hesistates for a moment, before gesturing to the CANNON- FODDER to open fire. An ice-blue ray is fired at the Righteous Indignation, causing the tiny frigate to rattle and groan from the impact. In a blinding flash, it suddenly disappears without trace, leaving the remainder of the Double-Bubbles unscathed. SYLVESTER: (Dumbfounded) By all the Saints! What happened? TOADBORG: What you saw, Colonel, is precisely why the function and purpose of such an experimental weapon was not brought to your attention sooner. (Paces the bridge) Not a few weeks ago, mighty KOMPLEX and myself discovered a means of travelling in time and space. After a brief analysis of the machinery, our Toad-Techs found away of making such travel into a weapon! SYLVESTER: So, what happened to the Righteous Indignation? TOADBORG: Even as they speak, they are travelling across space to a different universe, only a few weeks into the past. It would take a genius to bring them back, and only we have the power to control time! With time on our side, Colonel, we cannot fail! SCENE TWO - The Swanship Buttonfly, somewhere in space The spacecraft is a medium-sized one, and is shaped like a large duck's bill. On deck are several crewmembers, all except one (who is Human) are ducks. The leader, CAPTAIN JAMES QUACK, is a cream-feathered duck in a burgundy shirt and a green belt, and looks like an "ordinary" version of DEADEYE. The Human is LADY REFFAL, a ginger-haired woman dressed in a blue-and-white dress and carries a blue fan in one hand, who bears a strong resemblance to SECONDARY-GUNNER NATALIE FARRELL. JAMES: (Dictating) Captain's Log. Stardate: Tuesday 17th April 2164. We have changed course away from the limits of the very Mallaverse and have begun a patrol of it's perimeter. Thus far, there is little activity worth reporting, and I feel confident that we're in for a quiet journey. One of the officers, a cyborganic waterfowl named D.U.C.K. , directs JAMES' attention to the screen. D.U.C.K.: Excuse me, Captain, but sensors are picking up a spacecraft of unknown origin. Bearing: 17 degrees to Port. JAMES QUACK stares up, and sees the Righteous Indignation flying closeby. He sighs angrily and looks down at D.U.C.K. JAMES: Prepare to come alongside them, Mr. D.U.C.K. (To Lady Reffal) Lady Reffal, you will come with me to the Teleporters. LADY REFFAL follows quietly after him, as the eyes of the crew follow them out, before returning to their work. SCENE THREE - The Righteous Indignation BUCKY is examining his instruments carefully, with JENNY and WILLY aiding him. All three of them seem completely confused at the situation. BUCKY: (Scratches his head) I don't like it. Obviously, the Toads have found some way to teleport things halfway across space. WILLY: Yeah, but how? Their old teleporter was trashed by Bruiser all those years back! BUCKY: I know, and that's what scares me. JENNY: (Points outside) Bucky, look! A spaceship! The Buttonfly is seen hovering gently alongside. The Buttonfly is a giant compared to the Righteous Indignation, like a sperm whale to a tennis ball. It comes to a complete stop when it comes alongside the Righteous Indignation. WILLY: A duck ship! JENNY: But where from? The Canopis system hasn't the wealth to make a ship that size! BUCKY: (Thinks aloud) Unless, of course, it's been created in secret. IN THE ARMOURY... DEADEYE is working on his plasma cannon, when he starts at the sound of a soft whining noise behind him. Spinning around, DEADEYE notices CAPTAIN JAMES QUACK and LADY REFFAL appearing in the Armoury. DEADEYE grabs a gun in defence. DEADEYE: (Suspiciously) OK, what kinda bug-slush is goin' on?! JAMES: You tell me, good man. Your ship has just appeared from out of nowhere and has just entered Imperial territory. DEADEYE: Imperial?! So you are workin' with the Toads! JAMES: Nothing of the s...(pause) Did you say "Toads"? DEADEYE: Geez, are you deaf or somethin'? Of course I said Toads! JAMES: (Brights) Aha! You, sir, must be referring to those creatures who were spotted near our present position just yesterday! DEADEYE: (Irritated) Look, what the hell is goin' on?! BUCKY descends, ready to examine the situation. JENNY and WILLY follow shortly afterward. BUCKY: Deadeye, just what is going on here? JAMES: Are you the Captain of this vessel? BUCKY: (Nods) I take it you're the captain of that battleship outside. JAMES: The Buttonfly, yes. (Offers handshake) I am Captain James Algernon Quack of the Fowler Empire. BUCKY: (Shakes hand) Captain Bucky O' Hare, the United Animals Coalition. I heard you muttering something about Toads. JAMES: Yes, they appeared in this universe without warning yesterday, and vanished after a moment, and now we find your ship appearing out of nowhere. WILLY: (Butts in) Sorry to interrupt, but you said somethin' about this universe. Just what is this universe? JAMES: The Mallaverse, my friend, where the dominant species on the majority of planets was some form of waterfowl or another. SCENE FOUR - The Indefatigable, The Aniverse The frigate is flying around, scanning the Aniverse for something. DOGSTAR and LT. WOLF are gazing frantically over the controls. WOLF: Still no trace, Commander. DOGSTAR: Keep trying, Wolf. If it was a Teleporter that those Toads were using, then we should trace their ion trail. He flicks on a videoscreen that shows RUMBLE BEE and DIGGER MCSQUINT working on similar devices down below. DOGSTAR: (Into videoscreen) Anything chaps? RUMBLE BEE: Negative Commander, bzz bzz. No trace of Righteous Indignation or ion trail, bzz bzz. DIGGER: Commander, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack! We'll never find a frigate with this clapped-out technology! Saying this, he kicks a computer bank that collapses into a pile of rubble at his feet with a deafening crash. DOGSTAR: Chin up, lads. Never say die, what? (Switches off videoscreen) Wherever you are, Bucky my boy, I just hope you're alright. SCENE FIVE - The Swanship Buttonfly, The Mallaverse JAMES is speaking to BUCKY and JENNY in the Captain's Quarters, which seem to be decorated as a mixture of an office and a lounge. Among the books on a shelf include: "Waddling Heights" by Charlotte Beake, "Drakeula" by Bram Quacker, "The Taming of the Goose" by William Drakespeare and a graphic novel of "Howard the Duck" by Steve Gander and Mallard Comics. JAMES: We have known of the Aniverse for many years, but have never actually travelled to it. What we do know, however, is that most of your planets seem to mirror ours. The Canopis system, for example, mirrors our own Siponac system, and... JENNY: (Interrupts) Captain, all we want to know is how to return to the Aniverse. We were in the midst of a very important assignment when we were attacked, and it's desperate that we return! JAMES: (Scratches his beak) It'll be tricky, but I think I know the man who can help you... A MOMENT LATER... The trio are marching up to the bridge, with BUCKY and JENNY taking up the rear while JAMES marches triumphantly forward. BUCKY: (As they walk) Who? JAMES: Prof. Bancroft O'Drake, alias "Ducky O'Drake". He's a veteran scientist on Planet Nerraw. If anybody can solve your problem, he can. He was part of an Imperial government unit researching into transmats and teleporters. The unit had some fantastic results, but they were shut down after it's unit leader was found to be embezzling funds for his drug frenzies. JENNY: But why is he nicknamed "Ducky" if his name is Bancroft? JAMES: (Unchanged) The clue is in the nickname. JENNY halts for a moment and realises it's meaning. She retches slightly before continuing her walk to the Bridge. ON THE BRIDGE... WILLY is speaking to D.U.C.K. further up, while DEADEYE is attempting to speak to LADY REFFAL near the back of the Bridge. Around them, the other DUCKS work silently on their stations. WILLY: So, what does D.U.C.K. stand for in your name? D.U.C.K.: Digitally Uniformed Computer K-type. I am Unit #014769527002 on the D.U.C.K. Robotics Programme for the Fowler Empire. WILLY: (Curious) Fowler Empire? D.U.C.K.: In your Aniverse, the power is shared between the Toad Empire, the United Animals Coalition and various neutral democracies, right? WILLY nods. D.U.C.K.: In the Mallaverse, a majority of the inhabited worlds are controlled under an Imperial Monarchy as the Fowler Empire. WILLY: You have a King? D.U.C.K.: A Queen. She is well-respected across the worlds, and has thankfully evaded being ousted by revolutionaries, as was the case with your earlier governments in the Aniverse, I believe. Nearby, DEADEYE is failing miserably to talk to LADY REFFAL who doesn't utter a single word. DEADEYE: C'mon, lass! I ain't tryin' ta be a stud or nothin', I jus' wanna talk to ya! DUCK #1: It won't do any good, she's mute. DEADEYE looks around at DUCK #1, who bears a close resemblance to COMMANDER DOGSTAR. DEADEYE: (Uneasily) So, err, where did she come from? DUCK #1: No idea, just turned up from a black hole, told us through writing that she was getting away from some philanderer. DEADEYE: Yeah, I guess I know the feelin', Mr... DUCK #1: Duckstar. Ensign Drake Duckstar. JAMES suddenly runs onto the Bridge, with BUCKY and JENNY at his heels. JAMES sits down calmly in his chair as everyone resumes their posts. JAMES: Mr. Duckstar, has the Righteous Indignation been secured in our hanger? DUCKSTAR: Affirmative, Captain. All safe and secure. JAMES: Mr. D.U.C.K. Are we cleared for Improbability Jump? D.U.C.K.: All clear for Improbability jump, Captain. Improbability Drive engaged. JAMES: Set course for planet Nerraw at once! Outside, the ship appears to take the forms of a rubber duck, a feather and an egg (due to the Infinite Improbability Drive) before disappearing to the other side of the Mallaverse. SCENE SIX - The Toad Homeworld TOAD AIR MARSHAL is watching over the mass production of TOAD-CLONES. Unlike the trial-run, the cloning process is on a much larger scale, and the TOAD-CLONES are being kept isolated to develop further in seperate chambers. Several TOAD-TECHNICIANS are hastily marching back and forth, just as KOMPLEX appears on a nearby screen. KOMPLEX: Air Marshal, how is the second-wave cloning process proceeding>? AIR MARSHAL: (Babbling) We...We...We're approaching over 10,000 Clones, O mighty KOMPLEX. KOMPLEX: How many have been hatched thus far? AIR MARSHAL: We...we have about 6,000 in reserve, mighty KOMPLEX. KOMPLEX: I want you to take your 6,000 in reserve to the planet Conva and attempt to break out the following convicts. As he speaks, a printout of names appears from a computer-bank, which TOAD AIR MARSHAL reads as KOMPLEX continues to talk. KOMPLEX: (Continued) Because the cloning process is still behind, we shall require the use of these mercenaries and cutthroats if we are to make any significant attacks on those mangy mammals. AIR MARSHAL: (Salutes) At once, mighty KOMPLEX! SCENE SEVEN - Planet Nerraw, The Mallaverse The bluish planet is in orbit around a dim star. From above, a continent can be seen shaped like a duck's head. Form out of Infinite Improbability appears the Buttonfly, which takes the form of a wooden stake, a ball of string and finally a wooden cross like those used on marionettes. Inside the ship, normality had not yet been restored, and so all of the occupants look like Gerry Anderson-esque marionettes, right down to the fully-visible strings. BUCKY: (Amazed) What happened? JAMES: The Infinity Improbability Drive is what, Captain. It's pretty high-tech stuff. Helps you to cross space in the blink of an eye without messing around with a hyperdrive. DEADEYE: I suppose there's no chance of sharin' that secret, laddy? JAMES: (Shakes his head maniacally) Not a chance! Only engineers are taught how it works, and ours is the ship itself! There is a sudden popping sound as normality is restored, and everything returns to normal. The puppet strings disappear, and all is as it should be. JENNY: Are we going to turn into puppets every time we use the Infini...Infifin...that thing? JAMES: That's a glitch the techs haven't quite figured out. Besides that, it runs as sweet as a nut. D.U.C.K.: Captain, we are over the planet Nerraw, and we are in range for teleportation. JAMES: (Stands up) Very good, Mr. D.U.C.K. Lady Reffal will take command in my absence. Mr. Duckstar will accompany us to the planet's surface. He and DUCKSTAR exit, with BUCKY, JENNY etc. lagging behind. As they walk, BUCKY gets ahead slightly to speak to JAMES. BUCKY: Captain, just what is going on? JAMES: The gravity on Nerraw is considerably hefty. Although it will do us no harm, it can cause irreparable damage to ships landing there, as the first colonists found out. DUCKSTAR: But once the colonists settled down, they constructed teleporters that would interact with the onboard teleporters of Imperial ships, thus allowing people to travel on or off the planet with ease. They enter a room with several transparent glass chambers set out in a row. JAMES directs BUCKY, JENNY etc. to step into the chambers, whilst DUCKSTAR pre-sets the controls. He steps into his own chamber, and they are teleported away. SCENE EIGHT - Planet Conva, The Aniverse Several buildings are on fire, and huge crowds of GUARDS and CONVICTS are rushing backwards and forwards to escape the blaze. FIREFIGHTERS are already at work, and the air is filled with the din of alarm bells, sirens and shouting. Unseen by the crowds, a Toad Cruiser escapes under the cover of the smoke, and sets off into space. INSIDE THE CRUISER... TOAD AIR MARSHAL is surveying several people before him, whilst the TOAD-CLONES, as buff and mindless as ever, growl and snarl menacingly behind him, all wearing camouflage trousers, combat boots and red headbands. They are topless, and have belts of bullets around them. The AIR MARSHAL then turns to the CONVICTS, which include a CYBORG-BADGER (who has a mechanical left leg and bionic right eye), a LIZARD resembling Vladimir Putin, A FEMALE LEOPARD in a black silk dress and a chubby TURTLE in a pinstriped mafia suit. AIR MARSHAL: Don't get too comfy, as I've got a lot to say to you. CYBORG-BADGER: (Carribean accent) I hope you're gonna say why you bothered breakin' us out, cos I ain't gonna do nothin' fer you Toads! AIR MARSHAL: Perhaps you'd be interested in the 1,000 simoleons each that are attached to the job first, Ernie. LEOPARD: (Russian accent) You offer us a measly 1,000 simoleons! It is too pathetic to even be called chicken-feed! My bounty was worth a trillion times more in Labania! AIR MARSHAL: (Losing patience) The 1,000 simoleons is the advance payment, Leada! And when I tell you what the job actually is, you'll find there's more to come! ERNIE: Get to the point, bro! I ain't got all day to f**k about! AIR MARSHAL: I want you all to get your old gangs back and meet up in the Beta Quadrant with whatever spaceship you can get your hands on! THE TURTLE mumbles in Sicilian dialect with a hoarse voice. Everyone appears to be confused until the TURTLE fishes out a small translator box from his pocket. TURTLE: (Through translator) Exactly why are we going to the Beta Quadrant? AIR MARSHAL: Because, my dear Godturtle, we are going to conquer the United Animals Federation and share the profits! LEADA: Profits? We conquer a few measly planets and take control! Exactly where is the bounty in that? AIR MARSHAL: If you control their planets, Leada, you control their banks and thus their money. Think of how much you could buy with all that money. LEADA'S eyes glitter at the prospects, but the LIZARD, who has so far said nothing, is not impressed. LIZARD: (Bemused) Money, Power, Control! All the ravings of a demented capitalist! I am sworn to be the crusader of the people! I will not stoop to such bourgois antics! ERNIE: Shut your f**king mouth, motherf***er! 'Avin' all that power sounds so massive! Y'know! Who gives a f**k about the people?! LEADA: I quite agree, for was it not because of your massacre of those workers on Saurion that you were deposed, Nikita? NIKITA: I do not answer the questions of a demented slut! I have time only for the downtrodden workers! LEADA aims to take a swing, but one of the TOAD-CLONES, under a signal from TOAD AIR MARSHAL, fires into the air to stop a political tension from scaling into a fight. AIR MARSHAL: (Annoyed) I don't care whether you're capitalist, communist or centrist! Just get your lackeys back together and meet me at the designated location! They all walk off to the craft assigned to them located elsewhere on the ship. AIR MARSHAL then turns his attention to the TOAD-CLONES, who are standing rigidly to attention. AIR MARSHAL: Get some rest, you'll need it when we arrive at Genus...But keep your eyes on Nikita, I'd trust him as far as I could throw him! The TOAD-CLONES stamp their feet in acknowledgement and march away, leaving TOAD AIR MARSHAL to ponder to himself. SCENE NINE - A Laboratory, Planet Nerraw, The Mallaverse The laboratory has a purplish hue to it, and looks as though it has seen better days. The machinery is in a sorry mess, and the pipes are dented and leaking fluids. The tiled floor is hidden beneath a veil of yellowed papers and broken glass. There is an ice-blue glow of light as JAMES, BUCKY, JENNY, WILLY, DEADEYE and DUCKSTAR all appear from the teleporters. BUCKY: (Unimpressed) This is where your great genius lives? WILLY: Are you sure this guy isn't a hermit? JAMES: (Walking forward) O'Drake has been working undercover for a number of years, but the money we gave him to finance his research went on for...pleasure, and so we just cut his funding and gave him only the odd tip whenever he helped us. They approach a hunched figure who is at work on something on a bench. JAMES clears his thorat, and the figure spins around, revealing a drake (DUCKY O'DRAKE) in a lab coat and baggy, brown trousers. He resembles BUCKY somewhat, especially with the eyes. DUCKY looks at the group and smiles as they approach. DUCKY: Ah, Captain Quack. What brings you to my pad? JAMES: These people have strayed into our universe by mistake, and we need something to help them get home with. DUCKY: (Tuts) A tough challenge, that one. Follow me. He leds them into a seperate room, where several star charts have been set up. One of them appears to be a map of several universes in a clusterof incalculable distance. DUCKY: (Gestures to map) These are the universes we know of that border the Mallaverse. I take it that you charming four are from the Aniverse? JENNY: That's right, only we seem to have been teleported here by something the Toads have mixed up. DUCKY: (Nods) I see, and can you tell me the date? BUCKY: What's that got to do with it? DUCKY: Just tell me the date it was when you were hit and I'll explain. BUCKY: (Sighs) Jintober 15th, 3226. DUCKY moves into a thinking position, while DEADEYE looks on with disgust. After a while, DRAKESTAR grows impatient. DUCKSTAR: Well? DUCKY: I'm just trying to work out date ratios. It's Gantember 12th, 2193. And if the Aniverse lies 230 million lightyears from our own... WILLY: Then that means that there's a time-difference of three weeks! JAMES: What? WILLY: It's like on a planet! Where there are time differences on different parts of the planet, then there are time differences between the universes! DUCKY: True, but you forget that the universes don't orbit a larger object, sonny. So, the only thing I can account for is that you've been shot a short distance back in time, as if matters weren't complicated enough! JENNY: Then, how do we get back? DUCKY: I suppose there's always... Operation: Wacks. JAMES: (Eyes widen) Are you sure? That thing is untested! DUCKY: Do you know any other way, Captain? JAMES reluctantly shakes his head, and DUCKY leads the group further on, with a stern look on his face. They approach a filing cabinet filled with plastic discs resembling floppy discs. DUCKY pulls out one, presses a button on it, and a hologram of a satellite appears. It seems like an ordinary satellite, but with the barrel of a gun sticking out of it. DUCKY: A good millenium ago, H.G. Wacks wrote about the idea of a space gun being used to launch objects into space. We perfected that at the end of the 20th Century, and we then tried to see if we could create a space-time gun that would launch projectiles into the future as well as through space. JENNY: Did it work? DUCKY: (Hums thoughtfully) It must have, for our test passengers sent to the planet Hibernus in the Seaverse appeared to have become deified by the primitive squids who lived there. DUCKSTAR: (Gasps) O'Drake, are you sure that it will still work? I mean, it has been 20 years! DUCKY: As long as I know what, when and where I'm aiming at, and as long as these people have a spacecraft I can load into the space-time gun, then I think it should work. SCENE TEN - Beta Quadrant, The Aniverse The Toad Cruiser arrives rom Hyperspace, and TOAD AIR MARSHAL looks around impatiently, with FRIX and FRAX behind him. All he sees around him is empty space that stretches into infinity. AIR MARSHAL: (Growls) Where are those blasted crooks?! I said the Beta Quadrant! FRAX: But you didn't say when! FRIX: Yeah, they could come at any time! AIR MARSHAL: Time isn't something I can afford, Frix and Frax! If they don't get here soon, I'll have them cracking rocks on Crystal Peak faster than you can say "Wartbrain"! Suddenly, a spacecraft emerges from Hyperspace before him. It is a gunmetal-grey, which appears like a violin case when viewed from above. The televiewer in the Cruiser switches on to reveal THE GODTURTLE, with three more TURTLES around him. GODTURTLE: (Through translator) Air Marshal, these are my finest boys: Robby, Pesto and Squint. AIR MARSHAL: I thought the Godturtle had a larger gang, not just a handful! PESTO: (Squeaky voice) What? Are you saying we ain't good enough fer you, is that what yer sayin'? AIR MARSHAL: I didn't say that; I just said I was led to believe there was a larger gang involved. GODTURTLE: If we're going to take over Genus, then I don't want to risk everything if this turns out to be a bad draw. AIR MARSHAL: (Sighs) Where are the others? GODTURTLE: You mean... you haven't seen them either? AIR MARSHAL suddenly becomes confused, when a STORMTOAD rushes up to him. STORMTOAD #1: Air Marshal! We were scanning the Mammal frequencies when this came up! He activates a second panel on the televiewer screen, which shows a Mammalian newscast. As TOAD AIR MARSHAL, THE GODTURTLE and the others watch, they all begin to feel embarrased. NEWSREADER: This is Wolf Spritzer reporting. The convicts who escaped from Conva earlier today have almost all been apprehended. The convicts, who appeared to have been broken out by some unknown force, were all apprehended when security guards on Sludge caught them all arguing over a spacecraft they all intended to steal. Thus far, the only convict to elude capture is Don Macaroni, alias The Godturtle, but the S.P.A.C.E. has begun a manhunt for the felon, with Commander Sirius Dogstar taking the lead. AIR MARSHAL: (Groans) Those stupid fools! These are supposed to be the greatest criminals of the Aniverse? GODTURTLE: Supposing that you knew the spacecraft was the Righteous Indignation, Air Marshal? AIR MARSHAL: (Shrieks) WHAT?! Before anything else can be said, the Righteous Indignation emerges from hyperspace, along with the Indefatigable, and instantly attacks the cruiser. THE GODTURTLE, who is apparently in no mood for combat, sneaks away quietly as the battle ensues. GODTURTLE: I think we should save this battle for another day, my friends. SQUINT: Sure thing, Godturtle. Save our strength for some other time! PESTO: (Offended) What d'you mean by that? SQUINT: (Innocently) I said "save our strength", that's all! PESTO: So, what? Are you saying that we're a buncha weaklings here? Is that what you're sayin'? SQUINT: No, I ain't sayin' that! The rest of the conversation is drowned out as ROBBY takes them into Hyperspace. Elsewhere, the Righteous Indignation continues to fight, as the Double Bubbles begin to pour out of the Cruiser. AIR MARSHAL: How in the blazes did you escape?! BUCKY: We had a little help from some friends! DEADEYE continues to blast away ecstatically, and the Indefatigable helps where possible. However, a sudden hit to the engines puts the Indefatigable out of the running. DOGSTAR: Blast it, Bucky! Our croaker won't last five minutes against this horde! BUCKY: Don't worry, Commander! I'll cover you! On the bridge of the Toad Cruiser, another STORMTOAD has picked up a ship on the radar. STORMTOAD #2: Air Marshal, I'm picking up an unidentified ship about to exit hyperspace. AIR MARSHAL looks out, and sees the Buttonfly appear before him, taking the forms of a petunia, a rose, a lupin and a coleus before returning to normal. JAMES: (Over televiewer) This is Captain James Quack of the Fowler Empire! Call off your attack on these mammalian ships or I'll bombard your vessel with every last quadrotomic missile aboard my ship! AIR MARSHAL: (Scoffs) You're bluffing! In any case, there's no such thing as a "Fowler Empire"! The Buttonfly fires a warhead at the Cruiser's hull, which causes an enormous pressure leak in the rear of the Cruiser. AIR MARSHAL looks forth as the Buttonfly produces several more warheads protuding from their cannons. AIR MARSHAL: (Reluctantly) All Double-Bubbles return to Cruiser and prepare for Hyperspace jump! Let's get outta here! The panicky STORMTOADS comply, and the Cruiser disappears into hyperspace. BUCKY smiles up at JAMES as the cockpits of their two ships meet, and BUCKY and JENNY also notice DUCKSTAR, DUCKY and D.U.C.K. waving at them. JAMES: Glad to be of service, Captain! Hope we meet again someday! Down in the armoury, a glum DEADEYE notices LADY REFFAL waving to him from one of the lower decks. DEADEYE waves back and gives a friendly smile, and the Buttonfly glides forward, taking the forms of an alarm clock, a hovercraft, a spoon, a shoehorn and Slappy Squirrel's head before disappearing into space. Inside the Indefatigable, both DOGSTAR and LT. WOLF stare with astonishment. DOGSTAR: (Shocked) Good heavens, Bucky old boy! Did I just see a spaceship turn into shoehorn, or am I just going mad? SCENE ELEVEN - The Toad Homeworld TOADBORG is pacing about a control room with COLONEL GEORGE SYLVESTER nearby. In the background, a handful of TOAD TECHNICIANS are "upgrading" the KOMPLEX-2-GO unit, although the modifications are unseen. SYLVESTER: But if your teleporter worked, Toadborg, how did they get back? TOADBORG: (Snaps) How do I know? If there really is a Fowler Empire that supposedly rules an entire universe, then perhaps their technology is greater than ours! SYLVESTER: You do know that there'll be an enquiry. TOADBORG: Of course I know! Mighty KOMPLEX will want to know everything about what has happened! SYLVESTER: (Sighs) I don't mean a Toad inquiry, Toadborg. I mean the mammals will enquire into how the Righteous Indignation journeyed halfway across the Aniverse in the space of two hours, without any radar picking them up, or anyone on Sludge seeing them land! TOADBORG: Let them do their pathetic work, Colonel. Let them come up with their own little stories. SYLVESTER: (Sternly) I doubt that you'll find it amusing when you see who will be conducting the investigation. He flicks on a monitor, unseen by the audience, and SYLVESTER points to an image on the screen. TOADBORG looks at it and jerks back in surprise. TOADBORG: You are definitely sure? SYLVESTER: I have my sources, Toadborg, and if he really is descended from... from you-know-who, then I think we might have a problem on our hands. TOADBORG: Not unless we reach him before he reaches the mammals, Colonel. Not even the most intelligent of minds are immortal... His eyes continue to glow a blood-red as everything else fades into black... TO BE CONTINUED...