Dash Daring In The Trial of Fritz Warner Part One: Defence By Andrew Norris SCENE ONE A Courtroom on Genus FRITZ WARNER is standing in the Dock facing the Judges' stand. Seated among the jury are SUPERTWERP, REAR-ADMIRAL TINA STARFIRE and CORPORAL KINGSTON. While among the audience are the crews of the UAC frigates, along with some members of the Legion of Meta-Mammals. Eventually, a side-door opens, and a DOG enters dressed in Judges' robes. BALIFF: (Shouts) All rise! Judge Hiram Silver presiding. Everybody stands as JUDGE SILVER sits down; FRITZ looks up at him nervously as the BALIFF hands the Judge a file. SILVER: (Deep voice) Be seated. Everybody sits down. SILVER: The case before us is that of the .S.P.A.C.E. Admiralty versus UAC Chairman Fritz Warner on the counts of incompetence, racism and betrayal of the Mammalian people to the Martian Empire. Would the Counsel for the Defence please present their case for their arguement? THE DEFENCE-COUNSEL stands up, and FRITZ looks desperately at her. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: (Clears her throat) Your honour, I think it can be argued that betrayal of Mammals to the Martians is beyond belief, as the Martians were not recognized outside of the Aniverse until their invasion. Some people in the audience jeer, but JUDGE SILVER bangs his gavel to restore order. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: To prove it, my first witness is Queen Shimorr. BALIFF: (Shouts) Call Queen Shimorr! SILVER: (To Baliff) Do you have to shout so loud? BALIFF: I'm sorry, your honour. QUEEN SHIMORR enters, but in an orange prisoners' suit instead of her regal clothing. Some of the audience and the jury sneer quietly at her as she sits down and swears the oath. BALIFF: Do you promise to tell the truth in whole and nothing else on behalf of the Great Mother? SHIMORR: Like I have a choice? SILVER: Miss Shimorr, you are already under arrest for attempted genocide. If you attempt to delay the courts in any way, I shall be forced to remove you, understand? SHIMORR just nods, and THE DEFENCE-COUNSEL moves forward. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: You are Queen Shimorr of the Martian Empire? SHIMORR: I am. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: Your majesty, did you yourself have any contact with the Aniverse prior to your invasion? SHIMORR: We knew of the Aniverses' existence, but I was too busy with Imperial affairs to take any notice of it. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: And was there any means of persuasion that made you decide to invade? SHIMORR: Besides the opportunity to get rid of those pests on Venus, no. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: (To the audience) Need I remind the court that Queen Shimorr had confessed to an affair with one .S.P.A.C.E. Lieutenant Norris, who has had links to the Martian Empire in the past? SILVER: So noted. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: Well, who is to say that Lt. Norris wasn't a conspirator? Is it true, your Majesty, that he helped you plan an invasion behind Chairman Warners' back? The audience murmur indistinctly, but JUDGE SILVER bangs his gavel again to restore order. SHIMORR: I wish! Finding him here was just co-incidence. He is a wanted man on my planet after he and the British Teen Titans wiped out most of the Martian fleet when my sister tried to conquer Earth. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: To help you plot further invasions? SILVER: (Angrily) Stop badgering the witness! Do you have any questions that aren't based on assumptions? DEFENCE-COUNSEL: Yes, your honour. (To Shimorr) If Lt. Norris is a wanted man, why did you decide to make him your consort? SHIMORR: When Arthuce first mentioned him under his superhero alias, Chuck Bodgers, she spoke of him like some God. I was quite annoyed and naturally tried to get rid of him, but it wasn't until I saw him for my own eyes that I realized how handsome he was through Martian eyes. In the audience, BUCKY and JENNY are sat down together. BUCKY: (Whispers) If she thinks he's handsome, she needs to get some glasses. SCENE TWO .U.A.S. Phoenix, Space The rickety old flying-saucer is hovering through space, with COLONEL DASH DARING at the helm, and LT. VENUS beside him. VENUS: I don't understand, Dash. If their chairman is up on trial, wht are we being sent to speak to these lefties? DASH: Because we haven't got anything to do with it, really. If they only briefly filled us in on somebody we've never met, what are the odds of them making us stand for or against him? The radio suddenly flickers into life, and DASH takes a moment to adjust the frequency until he can pick up something intelligible. RADIO: Colonel Daring, this is Lieutenant Sellers. We are ready to recieve you, over. DASH: Roger that, Lieutenant. We're all set here, over and out. The saucer slows until it is passing through the gaping mouth of the Soviet Mothership, which clangs shut behind the Phoenix as it slowly settles down inside the launch bay. Waiting for them are GENERAL OSIRIS and BRIGADIER SAGE, who excahnge salutes as the crew step out. OSIRIS: Greetings, comrade Daring. We are pleased to see you in person from the stories I have heard. DASH: Pleased to meet you two, general. But from what I can remember, you're a bit more friendly than the Marxists from the past. OSIRIS: (Laughs lightly) Trust me, Colonel. We may still be left-wing, but we are not FULLY communist up here anymore, not since the Exodus of Rott, anyway. VENUS: (Flatly) General, erm, what about the meeting? OSIRIS: Ah, yes. We have everything prepared, and I think you should come with me. He leads them down a corridor while BRIGADIER SAGE remains in the hangar. OSIRIS, DASH and LT. VENUS soon end up inside a small room with a circular table taking up most of the space. They sit down, and OSIRIS presses a button atop of the table. OSIRIS: Captain Manx, bring in our guest. (Turns to Dash) As you have been told, Colonel, a traitor to KOMPLEX has defected to us and told of a large-scale attack against our allies in the UAC. DASH: And because of the Mammalian-Soviet Pact last week, we're her to send the information back to the Admiralty without anyone finding out. OSIRIS: (Serious tone) Exactly, but the person in question isn't your everyday, run-of-the-mill Stormtoad... A TOAD dressed in a high-ranking naval uniform enters. He has various medal ribbons across his chest, and some wrinkles around his neck. DASH and LT. VENUS can only stare at this senior-officer with utter surprise at the idea of treachery. OSIRIS...this is Admiral William Canaris, commanding the Beta-Fornacis Armada. SCENE THREE The Courtroom The court is returning from a brief recess, and the DEFENCE-COUNSEL is ready to present her next witness. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: Well, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have heard testimony from Queen Shimorr herself that dismisses Chairman Warner from blame regarding the invasions, and my next witness shall bring evidence that dismisses the idea of racial hatred. Call Commodore Zerox. BALIFF: (Shouts) Call Commodore Zerox! COMMODORE ZAKARIA ZEROX enters from behind, still in his World Space Patrol uniform, and sits in the box. After the pledge, the DEFENCE- COUNSEL sits forward. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: You are Commodore Zakaria Zerox of Planet Earth? ZAKARIA: (Nods once) I am. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: Well, Commodore, would you mind telling the court your religion for the benefit of this case? ZAKARIA: (Uneasily) I'm not a religious man, but faith-wise, I'm a Muslim. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: And it was Chairman Warner here that recruited you in the first place? ZAKARIA: Only into the .S.P.A.C.E., not the World Space Patrol. SILVER: Are there any other questions for this witness? DEFENCE-COUNSEL: Not from me, your honour. I feel the Commodore has said enough. SILVER: Then may I call the Counsel for the Prosecution to question Commodore Zerox? THE PROSECUTION-COUNSEL, a female CAT, stands up while THE DEFENCE- COUNSEL sits down. PROSECUTION-COUNSEL: Commodore Zerox, why were you recruited into the .S.P.A.C.E.? ZAKARIA: Well, I was supposed to be an agent on Earth after I discovered the Aniverse by accident on patrol. By keeping the Aniverse secret, I was allowed repair work on Fireball XL1 among other things like food when we had few supplies. PROSECUTION-COUNSEL: Were you given any form of payment? ZAKARIA: Well...no. PROSECUTION-COUNSEL: (Boastfully) And may *I* remind the court that any agent on any planet is required a minimum salary of 30 simoleons for each piece of information required, and nothing in the UAC Regulations can dismiss beings from a different universe. SILVER: So noted; but was Commodore Zerox made aware of this? ZAKARIA just shakes his head miserably, and JUDGE SILVER looks at THE PROSECUTION-COUNSEL doubtfully. SCENE FOUR The Soviet Mothership GENERAL OSIRIS is sat at the table with DASH DARING, LT. VENUS and ADMIRAL CANARIS, who is explaining everything to them. CANARIS: ...KOMPLEX is planning something big. I don't know everything in full, but it involves some kind of Super-Stormtoad program. VENUS: To counter-act the .S.P.A.C.E. using super-mammals in their military? CANARIS: (Nods) That's what I figure, and from what I can tell, that's why he kidnapped that Farrell girl twice. DASH: But why are you betraying your people like this? Usually, the higher the rank for an officer, the more fanatic they get. CANARIS: Well, a lot of people think that, but it's just the reverse. Apparently, as we get older, the weaker KOMPLEXs' control is on us. That is why I'm here now, abusing my comandeering powers to defect into the Communist Regime. OSIRIS: From what we can tell, KOMPLEXs' attempts so far to create Super-Stormtoads have resulted only in mutations that had to be killed because of their nature. Fortunately for us, KOMPLEX had killed off most the the amphibious superheroes when he siezed power, so that'll bide us some time. DASH: And what happens if they trace Canaris to here? OSIRIS: They can't, Colonel. The only people who have ventured into this area of space are us, the Mammals and Hughezs' Nazis. That's a good thing about distancing yourself from the Toad patrols. CANARIS: And now that I've left that dictator for good, I tend to do what's right for the working-man by helping others like myself to defect before KOMPLEX can strike. VENUS: But let's just hope that that WILL be enough time! VOICE: Guess again, Mammal! Immediately from the shadows, several STORMTOADS leap out, lead by MAJOR PADD. All hell breaks loose in an ensuing gunfight, with the TOADS all trying to reach ADMIRAL CANARIS, who is fighting off the STORMTOADS himself. DASH is able to knock several STORMTOADS unconcious, but it is simply not enough. OSIRIS: (To Dash and Lt. Venus) Get the Admiral to Genus before he can be captured; that's an order! They do so, and GENERAL OSIRIS fights off the TOADS as best as they can. CANARIS: Word seems to get around faster on the Homeworld than I thought! While they proceed to the Saucer, the other STORMTOADS have either been taken prisoner or shot dead. However, MAJOR PADD isn't going to give up easily, and continues on her battle despite the huge dents in her armour. PADD: (Snarls) You cannot escape me, you treacherous b*****d! I'll make you pay for your crime! She speeds up as she notices the trio entering the saucer and preparing for launch. As it begins to take off, she grabs the edge of the craft, and holds onto it tightly as it takes off. SCENE FIVE The Courtroom, Genus THE DEFENCE-COUNSEL is speaking to the court, and COMMODORE ZAKARIA ZEROX has returned to his seat. JUDGE SILVER, FRITZ and the Jury are all listening carefully to the final part of the case. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: And now, ladies and gentlemen of the court, my final witness is a man who has worked with the accused for a long time, and will perhaps be the most important witness in this case. Call Vice- Chairman Sanzer Griff! BALIFF: Call... He stops when JUDGE SILVER uses his gavel in a threatening manner to silence the BALIFF. GRIFF enters and sits in the witness stand. After giving the pledge, the DEFENCE-COUNSEL moves close to GRIFF to speak. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: Vice-Chairman Griff, you have worked alongside Fritz Warner since he came to office, correct? GRIFF: Well, yes. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: Then would you please tell the court what things you have seen and heard from your position in office that could help support the Chairmans' position as a thoroughly honest and unprejudiced man? GRIFF: (Scratches his chin) Well, err, he promised to have the foyer recarpeted in the General Assembly building, and he did keep his promise. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: And that is the only example you have of him being honest? GRIFF: Even as Vice-Chairman, I'm not allowed to probe into someones' life. Even if he is on trial for the Martian affair, I still think that his efforts to restore Noctur 4, and the attempts to increase finance to the Coalition were better than any other Chairman I have worked with! FRITZ smiles slightly, as does the DEFENCE-COUNSEL, who looks up coyly at JUDGE SILVER. DEFENCE-COUNSEL: No more questions, your honour. I believe that Mr. Griff has explained that a man who has helped a race close to extinction cannot be called a racist whatsoever. She takes her seat, and the PROSECUTION-COUNSEL steps forward. PROSECUTION-COUNSEL: Vice-Chairman Griff, are you aware of the Case of Chairman Braddock? GRIFF: The name is familiar, but I don't remember what it was about, why? PROSECUTION-COUNSEL: (Coldly) Chairman Braddock was one of the first Chairpeople when the General Assembly first started, and he was able to keep his incompetence quiet by bribing his inferiors. Are you, Mr. Griff, susceptible to bribery? SILVER: (Bangs his gavel) ENOUGH! I've already warned the Defence Counsel about badgering witnesses; and I don't think I ought to do the same to the Prosecution! PROSECUTION-COUNSEL: (Calmer) I'm sorry, your honour. So tell me, Mr. Griff, didn't you hear anything from the Chairman you disagreed with? SCENE SIX .U.A.S. Phoenix The saucer is trying to shake off MAJOR PADD, who is still clinging tightly to the saucer. Moving a little up the hull, MAJOR PADD uses a maser built into her finger to try and cut a hatchway. INSIDE THE PHOENIX... DASH DARING and LT. VENUS are busy trying to fly the saucer, and ADMIRAL CANARIS is the only one to notice the hatchway. CANARIS: Colonel! DASH looks up and notices this. He pulls several spacesuits out from nearby, and the trio place them on. As they arm themselves, nobody has remembered to put on the auto-pilot. VENUS: (Righteously) Let's go get her! As they gather around the small opening, the saucer careers into an asteroid field, and the ship spirals uncontrollably into the sector, crashing and bouncing off asteroids. After a while, MAJOR PADD is forced off by the asteroids; her body crippled and dented like the saucer. As she drifts off into space, DASH brings the saucer back under control, and they slowly limp the final stretch to Genus. CANARIS: Tell me, Colonel, is what all of your patrols are like? DASH: Hard to say, sir, but there are some that are worse than this! CANARIS: (Laughs) At least the Mammals know how to appreciate an adrenaline rush! I remember when I was a young lad, I'd be racing around in a Double Bubble at top-speed! It seems such a shame that all positive energy is sucked out by the indoctrination. VENUS: Don't worry, Admiral. At least on Genus, you can start fresh! CANARIS: (Sighs) I guess so, Lieutenant. And once things die down, I'll be able to return to my comrades on the Soviet Mothership. DASH: Well, right now, we need to get you to that meeting, bud! The saucer slowly hovers gently down to the surface of the planet, and from the widows, they notice people filing out of the Courtroom. VENUS: Looks like we just missed the defence-part of Fritzs' trial. CANARIS: Meaning that prosecution will have their say after the recess, eh? DASH: (Grimly) Yes, but I know that their case will be hard to beat... TO BE CONTINUED... NEXT EPISODE: PROSECUTION THE END Dedicated to Admiral Wilhelm Canaris, who helped to destroy the Nazi Regime from within.