BUCKY O'HARE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT 'CORSAIR CANARDS' Script written by Christy Marx Transcribed by Natalie Farrell EXT. SPACE - ZONA SECTOR A classy, sleek mammalian luxury Spacecruiser, the Stellar Swan, casually glides through Space, on its way from one resort planet (perhaps Warren?) to another. The ship is a magnificent gleaming white, with golden light glowing from her round viewports. She hurriedly alters course to avoid a large rogue asteroid. But then we see what's lurking behind the asteroid: the Iron Vulture, a pirate ship of the noble planet Canopus III's notorious pirate clan the Corsair Canards! She's a mishmash, ragtag conglomeration of 1000 different Spaceship parts all welded and pieced together like an engineer's worst nightmare, and built purely for power, speed and weaponry - cannons, turrets, guns, energy 'harpoons', there's deadly- looking stuff bristling from almost every inch of hull. Big, powerful, almost oversized engines complete her fearsome yet somewhat splendid design. In the bridge (visible from the long, horizontal curved window): BLACKBEAK V/O: ...There she be, Cap'n Lannelle! Rich, slow an' ripe fer plunder! INT. THE IRON VULTURE - BRIDGE Like the outside, the bridge is purely utilitarian with no wasted Space. It looks something like a B52 cockpit: zillions of gauges, lights, toggles, switches, buttons and heavy-duty throttle levers. Captain Lannelle sits at the controls with her Second-in-Command, Blackbeak. She's a young, good-looking 4-armed duck, and he's a hulking one. Lannelle wears large dangling earrings and has bangles on all four arms, and as with their many fellow pirates both Lannelle and Blackbeak sport two ion blasters. LANNELLE: Aye, Blackbeak! Full thrust t' engines! SPACE, VIEW OF BOTH SHIPS The Vulture's huge engines roar and explode to full power! She surges forward, away from the asteroid toward her prey. She easily races up to the Swan and darts forward, almost passing her. From forward cannons, the Iron Vulture fires a couple of warning shots ahead of the Swan then drops back alongside her, weapons pointed full at her side. LANNELLE V/O: Avast, Stellar Swan! Cut yer engines an' surrender t' the Corsair Canards! The Swan's engines go off, though her momentum continues to carry her forward, with the Iron Vulture holding her relative position very closely alongside her. INSIDE IRON VULTURE BRIDGE BLACKBEAK: Their engines be off, Cap'n! LANNELLE: Fire harpoons... got 'er now! SPACE - SIDE-VIEW OF IRON VULTURE AND STELLAR SWAN The 'harpoons' are several tractor beams which are beamed from turrets on the Vulture's side, and they zap across and attach to the side of the Swan. The Vulture then extends a flexible boarding tube from her own airlock to the Swan's. It locks in place with a BLANG! INT. THE STELLAR SWAN - LOUNGE ROOM Followed by Blackbeak and three other Corsair Canards - all with their ion blasters drawn, Lannelle cuts a circular hole leading into the Swan's lounge room, and the five of them all swiftly enter. It's a luxurious room with high ceiling, chandeliers, expensive furniture and fine furnishings, including a black piano. Frightened passengers are clumped together in one corner: a matronly female (?) green-furred hare wearing many large jewels and much gold jewelery, a fur wrap and an ornately-styled wig; a decrepit, blind and possibly deaf old black-feathered, yellow-beaked Canopian 4-armed duck in dark glasses and dressed not unlike a typical Arabian male... yet a familiar orange jumpsuit with red belts and shoes is visible under his robe, and leaning heavily on two canes; and an exotic female mammal of some kind, again dressed in an Arabian style - to be specific not unlike some Harem Girls, she is heavily swathed in sparkling, pastel blue veils which disguise most of her body and face, and she is adorned in lots of rich jewelery. She also reclines casually in an oddly- shaped, overstuffed blue chair. 'MATRON' HARE: (Speaks in a typical old lady-ish voice) Oh PLEASE... don't hurt us! LANNELLE: (Paces toward the 'matron') What do you think we are?! Toadies?! WE'RE the CORSAIR CANARDS - an' we NEVER 'urt anyone 'o didn't try ta 'urt US FIRST! BLACKBEAK: (Waves his blasters at the 'elderly' Canopian) Aye... so relieve yerselves 'a all yer valuables an' money, an' there'll be no trouble! The 'elderly' Canopian... merely PRETENDING to be blind and deaf, and using his two canes, pokes his way up to Blackbeak and 'stumbles' into him. Blackbeak backs up, rather than hurt him. 'ELDERLY' CANOPIAN: (Speaks in 'old duck' voice; holds up a horn so he can hear what is being said) ...Eh? Whassa'? 'O's in trouble? Speak up, whippersnapper! LANNELLE: (Laughs merrily at Blackbeak's plight) What's wrong, Blackbeak? Can't you handle a blind, deaf old duck? (Turns to the 'matron' and the 'Harem Girl'; holds out her two free hands) ...And now, ladies... I'll have those luscious gems. 'And 'em over! The 'matron' yanks off 'her' -or rather, HIS- wig, then finally the wrap. It's Bucky! BUCKY: (Speaks in regular voice) Sorry - you'll have to settle for THIS!!! He whips his blaster out from under the wrap and fires a beam volley. The beams knock Lannelle's blasters out of her hands. LANNELLE: (Surprised) Ohhh...! Bucky O'Hare!! Before Blackbeak can move, the 'elderly' Canopian strikes upward with his two canes, knocking both blasters out of the pirate's grasp. As the guns flip up into the air, he throws aside the canes and whips off his 'elderly' disguise. It's Deadeye! He neatly catches the two blasters in two of his own fists, and Blackbeak surrenders. DEADEYE: Thanks fer the loan 'a yer blasters, matey! The piano lid opens up, and Willy springs out. WILLY: Good shootin', Deadeye! I bet THAT'LL make him change his tune!! The 'Harem Girl' has pirates either side of her. She rises gracefully from her 'chair'. 'HAREM GIRL': Excuse me, my chair is getting restless... (!) She turns and whips off the blue covering to reveal Bruiser! He stands up to full size, and reaches out and grabs the two pirates by their ankles, then hauls them up and shakes them upside-down! They drop their blasters as well as coins, jewelery, penknives and other booty, which clatter to the floor. PIRATES #3 and #4: Ayie! Yhargh! Yolp! The 'Harem Girl' snatches off her head veil -revealing she is Jenny- and flicks it like a whip at pirate #5's hands. Two lightning-fast snaps later, the pirate is disarmed, holding his smarting two hands with the other two. PIRATE #5: Yipe! Yowtch! The disarmed pirates are backed into a corner, with Lannelle fuming in the fore. Bucky discards the last of his 'matron' disguise but keeps the blaster trained on them. Deadeye has his blaster trained on them, too. LANNELLE: Deadeye! Of all the traitorous, black-hearted, backstabbing scurvy tricks! Go on, arrest us - you'll NEVER see a Corsair Canard beg for mercy! DEADEYE: Mmmm... ye've got a tongue like a whip, lassie! I'm no traitor t'me clan - Cap'n O'Hare 'as an offer fer ya! BUCKY: This was the quickest way of finding you. We need you to stop robbing mammal Spaceships and instead help us fight the Toad Menace... LANNELLE: (Slightly shocked) Stop robbing?! NEVER! We're... we're PIRATES! BUCKY: Then go on being pirates... but only against the Toads! LANNELLE: (Crosses arms) Toads aren't worth robbing... (!) Lannelle and the other pirates look thoughtful. BLACKBEAK: Yeah, get serious matey - what's in it fer us? DEADEYE: (Steps toward Lannelle, gesturing with his four arms) It's about honor an' pride, in the fact ye're doin' the right thing in 'elpin' ta save the Aniverse! LANNELLE: Aye, an' what else? BUCKY: You help us fight the Toads and I think I can convince the United Animals Coalition to forgive all pirates everywhere of their past crimes... For the first time, it looks like Lannelle's beginning to consider... BUCKY: (Takes his ear in-between two fingers, and rubs it) ...You'll be free to roam the galaxy... LANNELLE: Hmmm... I dunno... JENNY: OR we could just turn you over to the authorities right now! BLACKBEAK: This amnesty thing's soundin' better an' better all the time... INT. UNITED ANIMALS COALITION HQ ON GENUS - MEETING ROOM The usual delegates are gathered there... with the exception of the Secretary General, Chairman Dorf Hogan. Wielding the gavel in his place is a ponderous fat walrus, Chairman Eugenio Harman. Next to him is a thin wiry excitable jackal, Leonid Grebb. Harman hardly moves except to bang the gavel, while Grebb continuously jumps up and down, gestures wildly etc. Bucky and Lannelle stand alone in front of this table, looking grim. Both have their weapons on their holsters. GREBB: This is an OUTRAGE, I tell you! HARMAN: Grebb, please be so good as to let Captain O'Hare have his say... GREBB: And YOU, Harman... WHY DO you let this... this CREATURE come before the Council with her weapons?! Are you all MAD?!! Her hands on her blasters, a very Indignant Lannelle starts toward Grebb... LANNELLE: Ye flea-bitten... Bucky steps forward to cut Lannelle off. BUCKY: ...As I was saying, the Corsair Canards would be invaluable allies against the ever-growing Toad Menace... GREBB: How DARE you offer to forgive these criminals for ANYTHING, O'Hare!!!! HARMAN: Bucky O'Hare saved Genus - if BUCKY thinks this treaty is a good idea then I say we vote YES!!! There is a general background murmur of agreement. GREBB: NO-ONE can trust a bunch of lying PIRATES - I DEMAND we CANCEL the treaty the minute they return to their thieving ways! HARMAN: Well... I suppose it's reasonable... any objection? The room is silent, so Harman bangs the gavel. HARMAN: It is so decreed. Once Captain Lannelle has approved the treaty... LANNELLE: (Holds up hand for attention) Oh, but tis not me who'll be approvin' - ALL of the Clans of the Corsair Canards will have to meet and vote! Grebb stomps furiously from the room. HARMAN: Then it's settled - I declare a temporary truce until this matter is resolved! GREBB: You'll regret this!! All of you!!! The pirates won't even be able to live up to the truce - let alone a TREATY!!! Lannelle moves close to Deadeye, wrapping a couple of her arms around his. LANNELLE: (Soft, sweet voice) I hope YOU'LL come to the clan meet, Deadeye... DEADEYE: Not t'worry, lass - I'll be there t'argue FER the treaty! It's time we pirates fought t'gether against them rotten slimy Toads! MASER TURRET OF THE RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION As can be seen outside the noble frigate's windows, she is flying through Space toward her next destination. Deadeye is doing some fine- tuning work to his cannons, when Willy joins him. WILLY: Wow... I can't wait to see a real pirate Clan Meet! DEADEYE: Uhhh... well, laddie, the Clans only gather at Rigel 7 BEFORE we go t'a secret place fer the Meet... an' naught but a Corsair Canard can go... WILLY: (Disappointed) Oh... Deadeye uses a free hand or two to pat Willy on the back. The human brightens up a bit. DEADEYE: Don't ya look like 'at, laddie - there'll be plenty 'a pirates an' carryin' on BEFORE the meet begins! INT. PIRATE HANGOUT ON RIGEL 7 It is a large, rough-beamed hall filled to the rafters with 4-armed ducks, male and female, of every size, shape and color. There's a long table filled with food and a bar behind which a tough-looking water buffalo dispenses thick glass mugs of Ole Swampgrass, a greenish brew favored by Canopian 4-armed ducks. The walls are covered with dartboards and other target boards, spinning wheels with spokes on the rim and all kinds of other items for playing games of physical skill. The Corsair Canards are raucous, rambunctious and well-armed, but no weapons are drawn here. Deadeye bursts in through the halls saloon-style doors, followed by an excited Willy and then finally Bucky and Jenny. Willy, who is still wearing his backpack, follows Deadeye straight over to the bar. Bucky and Jenny follow behind. DEADEYE: Arrr, Willy me boy... come an' share a mug 'a Ole Swampgrass with me! The buffalo slides two mugs of Swampgrass across to Deadeye and Willy. Deadeye grabs both mugs, and hands one to Willy. DEADEYE: Bottoms up! The canard gulps his Swampgrass down happily, then wipes his beak. DEADEYE: Ahhhhhhhhh! JENNY: Willy, I don't think you... WILLY: ...Aw, c'mon Jenny - this is what PIRATES drink! He gulps a big swig, trying to imitate Deadeye. Jenny can't help look just a bit amused as Willy then makes a face like he's drunk the most awful thing in the world. WILLY: Eeyyeeeetch! What IS this stuff?? JENNY: (Takes the mug from Willy) I tried to warn you, it's crushed swampgrass in swampwater - a duck's favorite drink! Down the hall, a young, dashing, handsome, red-feathered Corsair Canard named Jacobi Redfeather -or, more commonly, Red Jack- holds one of Lannelle's hands and whispers in her ear... but she ignores him and scans the room. RED JACK: My sweet Lannelle, believe me... ye are more precious th'n a shipful 'a booty... Lannelle hurriedly disengages herself without a glance in his direction, and hurries off. LANNELLE: ...Ohhh... there's Deadeye! Red Jack, surprised by this, clenches two fists and rests the other two on the butts of his blasters. Blackbeak approaches him. RED JACK: Arrrr... is Deadeye tryin' ta steal Lannelle from ME? BLACKBEAK: Nay, Red Jack... 'tis more Lannelle who's a-chasin' after Deadeye... Deadeye leads Willy down the hall, and the human enjoys the goings-on. They most bast ducks using 2 to 4 arms at a time playing at games of darts, throwing hoops onto the spinning wheels of spokes, tossing knives at moving targets, juggling, and more. One of these we see in particular is a knifethrower machine which shoots a knife from several feet away. The pirate steps on a foot pedal to activate it, then uses a round shield in each hand to deflect the knife/ves. A dangerous game indeed. Even duck CHILDREN play Komplex (???) games using 3 or 4 arms at once! WILLY: You pirates sure like to play a lot of games... DEADEYE: They're more th'n games, Willy! It be 'ow we train our young'uns ta be skilled with our 'ands an' eyes, ta keep our reflexes sharp when we ain't in battle! A precocious duckling -we'll call him Rob- yanks at Willy's shirt. Willy looks down at him with amusement. ROB: Ooh, you sure are a big ugly baboon... what kinda skill d'YOU got? WILLY: (Begins to shrug his backpack of his back and unzips it, revealing some books and papers... and a yellow flying disc) Well, I'm pretty good with a... (takes out the flying disc) ...flying disc! Deadeye, Lannelle and other ducks gather round Willy in interest. One of them is Deadeye's younger brother Galuda, and he looks just like Deadeye except both eyes live, his beak is orange and instead of the cap and headphones he wears a red bandanna with white spots. Willy holds the disc up between the flats of his two hands, which he uses to spin the disc so it hovers in the air in front of him, then he catches it and keeps it spinning on the tip of his pointing finger, using his other hand to give it extra spin now and then. DEADEYE: 'Ere now, matey! Ye've ne'er shown me THIS before! Show us what y'ken do with it! Willy tosses the spinning disc up, turns around and catches it on the tip of his finger behind his back, then does it again to face front, still spinning it on his finger... WILLY: There's lots of tricks you can do with 'em, but mainly they're for throwing. Watch! He gives the disc a sharp, practised toss, and it sails beautifully straight and swift past startled pirates, who move and duck (ha, ha), finally sailing past Red Jack's scowling face and knocks a target off a shelf on the far wall of the room. Willy then approaches the disc, and picks it up again as he continues: WILLY: ...And if you throw it just right... it'll even come back to you! He gives it another sharp flick, and it flies up toward the rafters, stops just before it hits a beam and returns to his hands. The pirates applaud with all 4 hands! Willy takes a bow, slightly embarrassed. WILLY: Gosh... thanks... But then his face turns to shock as he sees something... WILLY: (Alarmed) ...HEY!!! An even younger duckling, baby Davias, toddles onto the foot activator! He screams as the knifethrower shoots a knife at him. Willy snaps off the disc with force, saving Davias in time when it whacks the knife off-course so it imbeds itself in the wall. Davias's mom, Noelle, hurries to grab her little child. NOELLE: Oh, thank'ye - ye saved me little'un's life!! Willy goes to fetch his disc, and an impressed Deadeye follows him. The canard picks up the disc and admires it intently. DEADEYE: A right fine piece 'a throwin it wuz, me boy! (To the other Corsair Canards) Arrr, Corsairs! Theese would be a fine new addition t'our arsenal - I c'n think 'a A DOZEN uses ALREADY!!! Red Jack then swaggers onto the scene, clearly hostile toward Deadeye. RED JACK: The old ways're NEVER good enough fer YE, Deadeye - if ye get YER way we won't e'en be pirates anymore! Scarbill, a grizzled old pirate with a scarred beak, shows up to step between them. SCARBILL: Say no more 'ERE, Red Jack - this be a PRIVATE matter! (Loudly) To yer ships, one an' all - let the Clan Meet begin at the Appointed Place! Bucky shakes one of the determined Deadeye's hands. Willy appears a little unhappy. BUCKY: Good luck getting the treaty passed... WILLY: (Glumly) Bye... Scarbill and two other elder ducks, Threearm and Mojo, are heading toward their ship when Deadeye calls to them. DEADEYE: Scarbill, Threearm, Mojo - a word with ya! The three pirates approach Deadeye, and they agree as he mutters something to them in a low-level tone. SCARBILL, THREEARM AND MOJO: (After a pause) ...Aye! Deadeye approaches Willy and motions for him to come along. DEADEYE: Willy, in recognition 'a yer amazin' ability with this 'ere flyin' disc... my Clan officially invites ya... ta the Meet! Willy hustles to grab his pack and follow Deadeye. WILLY: (Overjoyed) Wow, really? That's great! BUCKY: We'll pick you up here at Rigel 7 when you get back... EXT. SPACE OUTSIDE RIGEL 7 - THE PIRATE CLANS In a mass exodus, dozens of these eclectic, heavily-weaponed and unique pirate ships head into Space away from Rigel 7. They head into open Space, their drives blazing in dozens of different configurations. Then in twos, threes and whole groups they bing into Hyperspace and vanish from sight! EXT. SPACE - THE RINGS OF REMUS A massive gas giant, Remus, hangs in Space, surrounded by thin, flat rings of cosmic debris and dust. The pirate ships enter, binging out of Hyperspace and then back into normal Space. They move over the rings, careful to clear them, then move inside the rings. In permanent orbit inside the rings is an enormous metal geodesic dome (similar to, ahem, a so-called Buckyball) studded with scores of connection terminals, sturdy tubes which stick out in every direction from it. Some ships have already attached their airlocks to a terminal, while others arrive, jockey into position and lock on. INT. THE CLAN DOME It's a large meeting hall with a clear Space in the center for speakers, surrounded by row after row of backless, curved benches set in concentric circles. And at present, it's packed with the many Clans. Deadeye and Scarbill stand in the center. Lannelle sits with Willy on one front bench, Red Jack on another. SCARBILL: Pirates, Clanfolk an' friends... 'tis time ta vote upon the treaty an' amnesty Deadeye 'as brought us! A very Indignant Red Jack leaps from his bench and strides up to Deadeye. RED JACK: This treaty be an insult t'us all - we been pirates fer GENERATIONS! It be UNNATURAL fer pirates ta be honest! Deadeye and Red Jack face off, and things get more and more tense between them. DEADEYE: Ye're too frellin' focused on a very... Komplex past, Red Jack. We gotta think 'a a Righteous future - this could be the best thing the Corsairs've e'er done! REDJACK: NEVER!!! (Draws blasters) ...An' I'LL do whate'er it takes ta stop ye... DEADEYE: (Draws his own blasters) Ye can try, laddie... Willy wants to leap up, but Lannelle uses all four hands to grab him and keep him on the bench. WILLY: No! Don't!! LANNELLE: Stay back, Willy... Deadeye and Red Jack face off with blasters at the ready. RED JACK: I DEMAND we settle this the TRADITIONAL way... (twirls blasters) ...the Challenge 'a Skills! DEADEYE: (Ticked off) Don't be a FOOL, Red Jack - this 'ere treaty needs a VOTE, not a duel 'a champions!!! RED JACK: (Narrows eyes) So... YOU won't even accept our most ancient AN' SACRED Challenge... Lannelle and Willy look around in worry as the crowd around them grows restive... GENERAL CROWD: Aye, the Challenge!/Honor our traditions!/We want the DUEL!/The Challenge! WILLY: What's the Challenge mean? LANNELLE: It means if Red Jack can beat Deadeye in a test of skills... the treaty will be defeated too!! Deadeye glances around, judging the Clans' mood, then... DEADEYE: If this be what the Clans demand... then I accept the Challenge! Lannelle and the other ducks stand, forcing Willy to stand, overturn the bench and hide behind it. Concerned and bewildered, Willy is the only one standing. WILLY: What's going on - are they really gonna shoot it out? LANNELLE: Of course they are! Get down! WILLY: But... but... one 'a them might get killed! LANNELLE: Are ye DAFT? Pirates don't shoot each other - LOOK! A device, almost like a miniature model of the dome except in a Bucky O'Hare green and with pink tubes, rises from the floor. Deadeye and Red Jack draw their blasters as the device begins to shoot Clay Pigeon-like objects into the air, four at a time in random directions. Deadeye shoots two targets down. So does Red Jack. The target keeps on shooting, faster and faster. Deadeye and Red Jack fire away non-stop. Willy realizes why everyone's hiding as ion blasts and bits of target explode around him, so he too dives to the floor. WILLY: Iiiieeeps! The destruction of each target reflects in Deadeye's living eye... DEEP SPACE Uh oh... there's a Toad ship in sight... INT. TOAD WARSHIP There are Storm Toads gathered at various stations, and the pompous Toad Air Marshal sits on his seat at the bridge when Al Negator approaches him. TOAD AIR MARSHAL: Well, Al Negator... you've been paid well to tell us what's happening inside the United Animals Coalition! Give me a report! AL NEGATOR: Hmmm... I have a traitor placed high within the Council itself... TOAD AIR MARSHAL: (Gleams with interest) What traitor? AL NEGATOR: Tch, tch... that's MY secret! Of course... I said you Toads would make HIM Dictator of Genus after you take over. Al laughs at this, then the Air Marshal joins in with him. The laughter is contagious, and so the Storm Toads join in too. TOAD AIR MARSHAL: That was a good joke, Negator! AL NEGATOR: Well then, here's another - the Coalition believes the Corsair Canards will accept a treaty to give up being pirates... and fight only TOADS!!! There is a worried look on all faces around Al. TOAD AIR MARSHAL: Th... the Corsair Canards!? But THEY'RE feared in EVERY sector of Space! An evil smile spreads across Al's face. AL NEGATOR: Ahhh... but the treaty is CANCELLED if the pirates return to piracy... and I can GUARANTEE they WILL... Al bursts into the traditional villain's evil laugh. EXT. ZONA SECTOR Al's evil laugh continues into the first few seconds of this next scene. Another cruiser thrums through Space at a leisurely pace. HARMAN V/O: ...I am so pleased you could join my cruise, Grebb... INT. CRUISER SALON Harman calmly munches on snacks, while Grebb is nervous and agitated. Around them are various other mammals wearing rich jewelery, and chatting and/or eating snacks. GREBB: This is the same sector of Space which O'Hare trapped the Corsair Canards in. Doesn't it worry you?? HARMAN: Surely you don't think... TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE V/O: ...Put up yer 'ands an' don't move!!! What appears to be a group of Corsairs -in truth, Toads in Corsair disguises, complete with a robotic extra pair of arms each- burst in... led by one Toad in a carefully but very well made Deadeye disguise. He holds two blasters as he marches up to Harman and an enraged Grebb. TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE: Gimme all yer money an' goods ON THE DOUBLE... or ye'll be eatin' hot ions! GREBB: You lying, cheating SCOUNDREL! You see, Harman? I told you - NEVER TRUST A PIRATE!!!! TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE: (Shoves a blaster into Grebb's terrified face) Aye, matey! What DOES a treaty mean t'the Corsair Canards? NOTHIN'!!! Another fake pirate roughly yanks a gem-encrusted necklace from the neck of Penelo, a frightened female poodle. TOAD: Gimme those jewels!! PENELO: Ohhh! Oh you BRUTE... Harman hands a gold pocketwatch over to the sinister Toad wearing the Deadeye disguise. HARMAN: I WARN you, Deadeye... this violation will NOT go UNPUNISHED... Their hands full of loot, the fake pirates wave their blasters and retreat to the exit. TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE: Heh! Do what ya like - ye'll NEVER stop US!!! HARMAN: (Sighs) This is a sad day, Grebb... we must send for Captain O'Hare at once! GREBB: Well I'M gonna send for Commander Dogstar - if ANYONE can bring these pirates to justice, HE CAN!! INT. UNITED ANIMALS COALITION MEETING ROOM ON GENUS Bucky, Jenny and Bruiser stand before Grebb, Harman and the rest of the Coalition members. Dogstar stands off to one side. Bucky is very agitated, and he moves and gestures as he speaks... BUCKY: I can't... believe it... HARMAN: I'm very sorry... but it WAS Deadeye... and the Corsair Canards... GREBB: We DEMAND they be ARRESTED and brought to Genus for trial! BUCKY: Look, I'll stake my ENTIRE career Deadeye is INNOCENT! I'll FIND him... but I WON'T arrest him until I learn the TRUTH! Bucky and Jenny stride from the room, and Bruiser follows. BRUISER: YEAH! Dey AIN'T gonna call MY buddy a TRAITOR! NO WAY!!! Grebb pounds on his desk, but Bucky and the others ignore him and leave the room. GREBB: THIS IS INSUBORDINATION! GET BACK HERE!!! Grrrr... Dogstar comes to stand in front of them, and makes it clear in his stance and tone he strongly dislikes Grebb. GREBB: Commander Dogstar, your mission is to find and arrest Deadeye and his pirate accomplices! DOGSTAR: (Clears throat) Harrmph, hrrrph... I TRUST Captain O'Hare WILL get to the truth of the matter, if we give him enough time... HARMAN: I regret I must confirm the order, Dogstar. Please leave at once... DOGSTAR: (Stiffly) Hmmm... well... then I shall perform my duty as an officer of the COALITION - BUT I DO SO UNDER PROTEST... INT. CLAN DOME - THE CLAN MEET Deadeye and Red Jack continue blazing away at the targets, which erupt in the air one after another without pause. Then the device stops, and the hall goes quiet. Deadeye blows on the smoking muzzles of his blasters, and Red Jack scans the air and relaxes, then twirls his blasters and holsters them in one smooth motion. Lannelle, Willy and the other ducks come out from behind the benches. LANNELLE: It's safe now, Willy... the target computer will evalueate the shooting and declare the winner... Deadeye and Red Jack grow close in anticipation as a computer screen emerges from the device and reads its evaluation out loud: ROBOTIC VOICE OF THE TARGET DEVICE: Red Jack - no misses. 450 hits. Deadeye - no misses. 450 hits. Result: a tie... Scarbill then approaches Deadeye and Red Jack. SCARBILL: All right, the next challenge will be... arms-wrestling! INT. PIRATE HANGOUT ON RIGEL 7 The only ones here now are Bucky, Jenny, Blinky and the water buffalo. Bucky talks to the buffalo, but all in vain. BUCKY: But you MUST have SOME clue about where the pirates' meeting place is! The buffalo simply snorts and turns away, refusing to help. Bucky, fuming, turns to Jenny and Blinky. JENNY: There's another way... if Willy has the Aldeberan Memory Stone with him... I may be able to reach him... Jenny closes her eyes and touches her fingertips to her temples, concentrating. The Memory Stone glows. JENNY: (Telepathy) INT. CLAN DOME - THE CLAN MEET All watch eagerly, with much general background hubbub being heard, as Deadeye hangs in there, arm-wrestling with Red Jack. They're each seated on two opposite sides of an arm-wrestling table... but this one has TWO levels so they can wrestle with two arms at once! Willy, totally absorbed in what he is watching, gestures and roots for Deadeye: WILLY: THAT'S IT! HANG ON, DEADEYE!!! Deadeye and Red Jack both push with all their might, wavering a bit one way then another. Uh oh... Red Jack then gains the advantage. Slowly and painfully, he inches both of Deadeye's arms back and back... CLOSE ON JENNY JENNY: (Telepathy) INT. CLAN DOME - THE ARMS WRESTLING MATCH Willy continues to desperately root for Deadeye. WILLY: Don't give up, Deadeye! FIGHT!! Slowly... things start to look up. Deadeye pushes both of Red Jack's arms back up until they're sweating and straining in a middle position on both arms again. They grunt and groan with determination. Then WHAM! WHAM! Red Jack slams down Deadeye's upper arm... but Deadeye slams down Red Jack's lower arm! Scarbill steps forward. SCARBILL: I declare this match... a DRAW! Willy is so startled by Jenny's psychic call he jumps. JENNY V/O: (Telepathy) Willy quickly pulls the Memory Stone from his pocket and sees Jenny's worried image in it. WILLY: I hear you Jenny! What's wrong?? Deadeye is still very Righteously Indignant at Red Jack's dislike and refusal of the treaty. DEADEYE: Will ye NOT give up this NONSENSE, matey? RED JACK: NAY! I will NOT! WILLY V/O: ...Deadeye!! Willy drags Deadeye off to one side, allowing Lannelle to hear as well. WILLY: (Low voice) Something terrible has happened, we have to get back to Rigel 7 right away! DEADEYE: (Concerned) I can't, me boy - if I leave now I lose the Challenge! WILLY: Then you've got to beat Red Jack and FAST!! Can I propose a Challenge? LANNELLE: No, but I can! Tell me... Willy leans over and whispers into Lannelle's ear. She nods, and then Deadeye and Red Jack approach her. All eyes are still fixed on the dueling canards. LANNELLE: Since you're both matched in skill AN' strength, you need a BRAND NEW Challenge - the Flyin' Disc! RED JACK: But... neither one 'a us 'as thrown the Flyin' Disc before... LANNELLE: Exactly right! It's completely fair... DEADEYE: Aye... a test ta see which one 'a us is quicker ta learn a NEW skill... instead 'a repeatin' the same old ones... LANNELLE approaches Blackbeak... who holds a mug of Ole Swampgrass in each hand... LANNELLE: ...An' Blackbeak will provide the targets! The first one to hit a mug 'a Ole Swampgrass outta 'is 'and... is the winner! Red Jack, holding the disc, looks flustered for the first time. DEADEYE: (Gestures) After YE, lad... Red Jack tries to snap the disc off like Willy, but it hits the ground and rolls like a wheel. Davias shows up on the scene to scoop the disc up, and he then approaches Deadeye and hands it to him. Deadeye takes it and throws it with a sharp snap of the wrist. It wobbles wildly in the air and on its flight it hits not one of the four mugs, but one held by Galuda, and some of the Swampgrass spills into Galuda's handsome face... then eventually it grazes one mug but doesn't spill a drop Red Jack throws again, but hits Blackbeak in the stomach. BLACKBEAK: (Groans slightly) Ack! Watch it there, matey... It's Deadeye's turn again... and oh wow, it's a beautiful throw. The disc sails straight and clean... and it knocks one of the mugs from Blackbeak's hand, spilling Ole Swampgrass all over him. The canards cheer, and Willy jumps up and down with excitement. WILLY: You WON, Deadeye! You WON!!! Red Jack holds out a couple of hands to Deadeye, who gives them a pirate shake by gripping the wrists. RED JACK: All right, ye beat me fair an' true... maybe it IS time I changed me ways... DEADEYE: (Proud) Spoken like a true Corsair Canard... Willy approaches Red Jack and hands him the disc. Red Jack is amazed. WILLY: Why don't YOU keep the Flying Disc? Then you can practice all you like... RED JACK: 'Tis a 'igh honor ye pay me, Willy... Deadeye turns to face the entire crowd: DEADEYE: Corsairs - ta yer ships an' back ta Rigel 7 at top speed!!! INT. PIRATE HANGOUT ON RIGEL 7 The bar is bustling again. Deadeye and Bucky are in center stage, surrounded by Red Jack, Lannelle, Blackbeak, Scarbill, the other pirates, Willy, Jenny and Blinky. The pirates are, quite rightly so, Righteously Indignant at Bucky's news. LANNELLE: Why, of course we been at the Clan Meet... RED JACK: ...Aye... AN' we approved the treaty... BUCKY: (Glum, suspicious tone) Then someone's out to sabotage us and I mean to find out... DOGSTAR V/O: ...Step aside in the name of the law!!! Dogstar strides into the bar, pushing his way through the pirates, and approaches the gathering, specifically facing Deadeye. DOGSTAR: (Solemnly) Deadeye... it is my painful duty to arrest you in the name of the United Animals Coalition... Bucky steps between them. He will not -I repeat, NOT- permit the arrest! BUCKY: NOW LOOK HERE, Dogstar... I KNOW you DON'T want to arrest an INNOCENT duck! AND we NEED the pirates' help to catch the REAL criminals! Willy also steps up to plead with Dogstar. WILLY: I was WITH Deadeye and the pirates the whole time - I KNOW they didn't do it!! Dogstar is surprised at Willy's revelation. DOGSTAR: What?? Hrmph... haruumm... well, I canNOT shirk my duty - BUT I WILL if I CAN be of assistance in a definite plan...? BUCKY: (Smiles) One definite plan coming right up... They all move in for a close conference... EXT. ZONA SECTOR - THE STELLAR SWAN A pirate-looking warship races up alongside the cruiser and fires a few shots right at her, doing a minor bit of damage without breaching the hull. TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE V/O: Attention Stellar Swan! Surrender ta the Corsair Canards or be destroyed! INT. THE STELLAR SWAN - LOUNGE ROOM Bucky is back in his matron disguise again, and Jenny is veiled (though in one shot we can see her wearing a net veil rather than the disguise as seen before). Dogstar is dressed like a butler, carrying trays of snacks (got any squid there, Dogstar? :p); Blinky has disguised himself like a weird lamp (perhaps like a painting by Picasso, Van Gogh etc.?); in one corner there's a bronze statue of Bruiser posed like Rodin's 'The Thinker'; and there's an exceptionally large Emperor Penguin 'statue'. There be no sign of the real Deadeye. The fake pirates burst in, led by the Toad we love to hate for his framing of Deadeye: TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE: ...All right don't move - we're the Corsair Canards! 'And over all yer money an' jewelery NOW!! Suddenly, one of the other fakes suddenly notices something offscreen, and so fearfully and frantically taps the Toad in the Deadeye disguise on his shoulder... TOAD: B... b... boss - look! A b... b.. b... BABOON! The Toad in the Deadeye disguise stalks veeeeeeerrrrry carefully over to the bronzed Bruiser, and peers at it before relaxing. TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE: Tch - ya idiot, it ain't a REAL baboon!! Bucky and Jenny exchange an interested glance. BUCKY: (Whispers to Jenny) Hmmm... terrified of baboons... very interesting... The Toad wearing the Deadeye disguise kicks the statue's shins, and a dull THUD is heard. He then turns to face his minions again, to scold them. TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE: Ya see? It be just an 'armless li'l statue! However, he does not notice as the whole statue cracks apart and the real Bruiser stands up to tower over him... TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE: ...There be absolutely NOTHIN' ta worry about... Suddenly, he slowly becomes aware he is in the presence of a real baboon as Bruiser's shadow then begins to fall over him... TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE... Uhhh... ta... uhhh... worry... (gulps) He looks around, then up - and erupts into a terrified panic! TOAD IN DEADEYE DISGUISE: YAAAAHHHH!!! A BETELGEUSIAN BERSERKER BABOON!!! RUN! RUUUUNNNN!!! Too late. Bruiser easily hauls him up into the air. The fake pirates, in turn, turn and run madly in all directions, hitting and bouncing off one another and generally going totally crazy. TOADS: Agh!!!/HELP!!/RUN! Look out!/Outta me way!/MOVE! A baboon! RUN!!! Bucky tears off his disguise and pulls out his blaster. BUCKY: Give up and you won't be hurt!! Jenny sticks out a dainty foot and trips one pirate as he runs past her. The penguin splits open to reveal it's actually Willy inside. He jumps out in front of one fake pirate. WILLY: BOO!! The fake faints. EXT. FAKE PIRATE SHIP The ship floats alone, alongside the Swan. INT. FAKE PIRATE SHIP Al Negator looks at his watch, annoyed. AL NEGATOR: What's taking them so long??? This was supposed t'be quick and clean!! Deadeye enters from the futuristic 'boarding plank', followed by a number of the REAL pirates including Red Jack, Lannelle and Blackbeak. Deadeye has two guns out, and the drop on Al Negator. He walks confidently -and filled with much Righteous Indignation- toward Al. DEADEYE: Arr! Ha - we'll be quick ta clean ya up, ya SWAMP SLEAZE!!!! Al holds up his hand, pretending to surrender... AL NEGATOR: Don't shoot! Don't shoot! ...Then with one quick action, he spins around... and his tail swiftly sweeps Deadeye's blasters out of his hands. AL NEGATOR: (Draws his own gun) Let ME do the shooting around here!!! He is about to fire when Lannelle swings in on some cables, hitting him squarely on the chest with both feet. His gun flies out of his hand. Down but not out, Al grabs a dagger from inside his shirt and flings it toward Lannelle who's now bending over Deadeye. Just before it hits, Red Jack stretches out a shield, and the dagger gets caught in it. RED JACK: No ye DON'T, ye scurvy scallywag!!! The other pirates all surround Al, menacingly. BLACKBEAK: This be the last trick YE'LL be tryin'... INT. STELLAR SWAN - LOUNGE ROOM All the fakes are now captured, and held at blaster-point. DOGSTAR: Good job, Bucky! Good job! BUCKY: AND, if my suspicions are correct, the best is yet to come - Bruiser, do your stuff! BRUISER: Wid pleasure!!! Bruiser rips the Deadeye disguise off... revealing the spiteful Toad who was wearing it. Terrified, the Toad cowers on the floor. Bucky talks to Blinky, who reconfigures back to his usual self. BUCKY: Did you get all this? BLINKY: (Salutes) Yes, sir - everything is recorded in Blinky's holographic databanks... Deadeye and the other real pirates bring in the captured Al Negator, carefully keeping their blasters trained on him. Even with a sly smile on his face, Al appears relaxed. DEADEYE: ...Aye, an' take a gander at what WE caught lurkin' in the FAKE pirate ship outside!! Bucky gives Al a contemptuous look, sure he's won over the Sleazasaur this time. They stand close to a table full of snacks. BUCKY: Al Negator!! I should have guessed you'd be the brains behind this scam - well we've got you cold this time! AL NEGATOR: Well I wouldn't be so sure... (takes a handful of snacks) I have information of such vital importance, it'll be worth much more than my mere capture. You be the Judge - is it a deal? BUCKY: Hah! Sure... there's nothing you can tell me that'll be more important than... Al whispers something to Bucky. The Captain is shocked, then terribly grim. Al pulls a data disk from his suit and hands it to Bucky. AL NEGATOR: (Whispers, but audible) ...And here... is the documented proof... Bucky clenches his fists, not wanting to take the disk, but finally he takes it. BUCKY: (Grits teeth) OK... we made a deal. Get out... you're free to go... Everyone is shocked as Al cockily strides past them and gives an arrogant farewell 'salute'. AL NEGATOR: Au revoir! Nice food... Once Al leaves, everyone surrounds Bucky. All are angry and confused, Deadeye especially. DEADEYE: Bucky... 'ow could ye? BUCKY: (Holds up disk) Because we have a TRAITOR to catch... INT. UNITED ANIMALS COALITION MEETING ROOM ON GENUS Harman sits at the desk, with other mammals surrounding him. An impatient Grebb paces the floor. GREBB: I can't stand this waiting!! WHY hasn't Dogstar sent news?? BUCKY V/O: We've got something BETTER than NEWS! Bucky shows up, with the Deadeye disguise -repaired to its own magnificent perfection- in hand. Blinky follows; then Bruiser, with the Toad who had framed Deadeye; and behind them are, in order, Dogstar, Deadeye, Lannelle, Willy and Red Jack. BUCKY: HERE'S your pirate - a TOAD in disguise!! Grebb stands partially in front of Harman. Grebb is quite agitated... but oddly enough, so is Harman... HARMAN: You caught them? GREBB: I... I don't believe it - you've made this up to save your friend! DOGSTAR: Oh indeed NOT, sir - this android, Blinky, has a recording of the entire capture! BUCKY: (Pulls out disk; with a hard facial expression directed toward Grebb and/or Harman) ...And THIS is PROOF of a TRAITOR on the Council - a paid informer for the Toads! Grebb backs away, as if frightened the accusation is directed at him. Sneakily, behind him, Harman rises and edges away from his desk. GREBB: Why are you looking at ME?!? BUCKY: He's making a break for it! Get him!!! Bruiser charges forward, toward Harman. Grebb nearly passes out with fright. Bruiser grabs Harman... but the head pulls open only to reveal a small, fast, slick-skinned light blue-green newt! We'll call him 'Izaak'. IZAAK: You'll never catch me! GREBB: (Shocked) A newt?? Our Chairman was a NEWT?!? Bucky and Willy try to grab the very swift Izaak, but they slip right off his slippery skin. BUCKY: (Grunts) Can't get hold of him.... WILLY: He's too slippery!! Red Jack has the flying disc. He winds up, takes careful aim and throws it with a hard snap. Izaak runs full-tilt toward a door with nothing to stop him... but the flying disc hits him behind the knees. He tumbles head over heels, hits a wall and is knocked out cold. IZAAK: Yag-eeg-yeeg-yagh... unnghn... Red Jack's face lights up as Lannelle puts her arms through his. LANNELLE: Ye were magnificent - I'm so proud 'a ye! RED JACK: Why thank ye, me sweet... Deadeye was right, this flyin' disc IS useful... Willy is surprised at Lannelle's sudden switch. WILLY: Gee, Deadeye... I guess you've lost your girl... DEADEYE: Arrr, she wuz never mine, Willy me boy - an' I've nae got th'time fer A lass in me life ANYWAY! Grebb is totally abashed. GREBB: Captain O'Hare, this is very hard for me to say, but... I've been wrong. Wrong about you AND the Corsair Canards... (turns to face the pirates) ...and I wish to publicly apologize to all of you for being stubborn, narrow-minded and unfair... BUCKY: (Gives Grebb a friendly slap on the back) It takes guts to apologize, Grebb... maybe you're not so bad after all... Lannelle and Red Jack are blissfully arm-in-arm-in-arm-in-arm-in-arm. He has retrieved his flying disc. RED JACK: Ho Willy, I can't thank ye enough fer this wondrous flyin' disc! Why don't'cha come with us an' become a full-fledged pirate? WILLY: (Excited) Me? Really? You mean I could?? LANNELLE: Aye! Come sail with us from one end 'a the Aniverse t'another, leadin' a bold pirate's life! DEADEYE: Do what ye like, Willy, but remember this... I gave up the pirate's life by choice t'serve wit'Bucky an' make the Aniverse a safer place. Willy then appears thoughtful... INT. RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION - BRIDGE Bucky and Jenny are at their stations, working the controls. BUCKY: (Proud) Attention all hands - it's time to croak some Toads! INT. MASER TURRET Deadeye is at his cannons, with Willy -who obviously turned down Lannelle and Red Jack's offer- stands beside him. WILLY: (Enthusiastic) Aye-aye, Captain! DEADEYE: Them words be music ta me pirate ears! SPACE The Righteous Indignation hangs in Space about Genus, then she kicks in her engines and warps like a fiery comet into deep, black Space!