A FISTFUL OF SIMOLEANS - Written by Christy Marx SCENE 1 - Toad TV reporter Andy Phibian stands somewhere within the toad mothership. ANDY This is Andy Phibian reporting live for TTN, the Toad Network. The notorious Bucky O'Hare is taking a well-deserved pounding today! As he talks, Frix and Frax walk by in the background carrying boxes of something. A moment later they reappear and stand behind Andy, making goofy faces at the camera. Andy ignores them. ANDY Two of his engines are damaged and he's completely surrounded by the vast toad armada! SCENE 2 - We've gone back in time just a little bit. The Righteous Indignation is still in the crater of the small asteroid, the stasis field surrounding it as all the Double Dubbles fire on it to no effect. In the engine room, Willy is fiddling with the photon accelerator as the whole crew watches. WILLY That should do it. When I activate the warp drive, we'll lose the stasis field for good. BUCKY Ready for action! Outside, the Double Bubbles have stopped firing. The squadron leader is talking into his radio. TOAD SQUADRON LEADER Squadron, again, on my signal, fire all guns at once! Three! Back down in the engine room, Blinky watches as Willy prepares to pull the lever on the photon accelerator. WILLY Okay. TOAD SQUADRON LEADER Two! Willy pulls the lever. TOAD SQUADRON LEADER One! The Double Bubbles open fire as the stasis field disappears. The Righteous Indignation returns fire, and the mammals' red laser and the toads' green lasers collide and dissipate. The toad squadron leader reacts with a shocked croak. Back in the engine room, Willy pulls the lever again (?). WILLY Accelerator, reset! BUCKY Jenny, bring all engines to full power... now! Jenny pushes the throttle forward. The Righteous Indignation blasts off, leaving the crater, looping, and then speeding off with the Double Bubbles in pursuit. Jenny observes this on the radar. JENNY Toads gaining! BUCKY Let's hope that Willy the human knows what he's doing. He activates the ship's comm. BUCKY All hands, prepare for hyperspace jump! The Righteous successfully makes a hyperspace jump and disappears. On the bridge of the toad mothership, the Toad Air Marshal listens as the toad wing leader (presumably seated in the bubble opposite the squadron leader) reports. TOAD WING LEADER Wing Leader to mothership! The accursed mammals have broken free and escaped into hyperspace. AIR MARSHAL Search all sectors! KOMPLEX No. The Air Marshal turns as a TV screen on the end of a long pivoting mechanical arm swings down to be at eye-level with him. Komplex's face has appeared on it as well as multiple other screens throughout the bridge. KOMPLEX You have wasted enough of my time. Recall your ships! AIR MARSHAL Buh-buh-but I'll find him again, and then-- KOMPLEX Silence! Komplex's "face" gets so close to the Air Marshal that he actually falls over backwards. KOMPLEX What can one mammal ship do against the combined forces of the Toad Empire? We must wipe out the source of this problem: the center of the mammalian coalition. Genus. Komplex's multiple screens change to show Genus. The Air Marshal gets up as the screens change back to Komplex. AIR MARSHAL But Komplex, Genus is protected by the most lethal defense system in the Aniverse! It can even destroy a-- a mothership! KOMPLEX Yes. And that is why you must employ a spy. A spy of the utmost cunning and skill to obtain the satellite clearance codes. You have 48 hours. Do not disappoint me again. The Air Marshal gulps nervously. SCENE 3 - Al Negator's lair. Al places blue cards into slots on a spoked wheel that rotates around: a target practice tool. We see that the cards contain pictures of the Righteous Indignation's crew (including Bruce). A robotic voice interrupts Al. ROBOTIC VOICE Incoming message. Top priority from Toad Air Marshal. Al walks over to a small TV screen displaying an image of the Air Marshal. AIR MARSHAL Al Negator, we need your services. Al fires his maser rifle over his shoulder, looking through a small handheld mirror. The shot hits the Bruce card. As he talks, he continues firing. AL Well, as you can see, I am very busy. But, if it were worth... my while? AIR MARSHAL We want the security clearance codes to the Genus defense system. AL Ooh, very difficult. It will cost you five-thousand simoleans. AIR MARSHAL Five-thousand simoleans?! That's extortion! That's blackmail! Al cleans his rifle, laughing. AL Of course. Two of my specialties. And I want half up front, half upon delivery of the codes. He fires a few more shots over his shoulder. The Air Marshal blubbers, barely able to contain his fury. AIR MARSHAL Agreed. You have 48 hours. Air Marshal out! The Air Marshal vanishes from the screen. Al twirls his maser rifle around a few times, then slides it into the holster on his back and leaves the room. His target wheel stops rotating and we see that the card of Bucky has a smoking hole burned straight through Bucky's forehead. SCENE 4 - The Righteous Indignation comes out of hyperspace. Bucky and Jenny climb down from the bridge. Jenny embraces Willy. JENNY You were wonderful! Bucky shakes Willy's hand. BUCKY You saved us all! WILLY It wasn't anything. DEADEYE I had me doubrs, Willy! But you're sure worthy of my hands in friendship! Deadeye holds out all four hands. He and Willy shake. DEADEYE Just to prove me good faith... He reaches into his uniform and pulls out the squirt gun he'd taken from Willy's bedroom earlier. As Willy holds it, water drips out of the barrel. DEADEYE ...here's the weapon that I took-- uh, confiscated from your room. WILLY But Deadeye, it's only a wa-- Deadeye holds his two upper hands up. DEADEYE Don't worry, me bucko! He nudges Willy with his elbow. DEADEYE I know. It's some sort of fiendish hairless baboon weapon, and that be good enough for ol' Deadeye. BUCKY You know Willy, we lost our engineer, Bruce the Beetlegeusian Baboon, and somebody when this is all over we're gonna find him again. But until then, how would you like yo be our new engineer? WILLY Me? Really? Bucky nods. WILLY Oh wow, would I ever! Only, I do have to get back sometime. I mean, this is great, but I still have to see my parents and go to school and stuff. BUCKY But you can stay for now, right? And help us out with our mission? WILLY Oh sure. But I was, y'know, wondering, were the toads always this bad? Blinky comes forward. BLINKY Please allow me to be of surface. He presses a button on the side of his head. His eye projects an image showing a grinning toad face with crossbones beneath it and the words "Toad File" beneath it. BLINKY Presenting brief summary display of toad history from Genus historical archives. From here on in until otherwise noted, all the action is occurring within Blinky's projection. We see a nuclear toad family: a father in a business suit smoking a pipe, a mother in a bathrobe and curlers in her hair, a bespectacled daughter, and a son. NARRATOR Once, the toads were a harmless race. The toad son makes faces. Cut to the father coming home with a big contraption with "Fly Popper" written on it. The husband kisses his wife as the son and daughter go right for the popper. NARRATOR With a passion for accumulating shoddily made consumer goods at inflated prices. Cut to the family in their kitchen. The father pups some flies into the popper and turns it on. It immediately explodes, covering the entire family in bluish liquid and flies. Cut then to a laboratory setting with many toads wearing white lab coats. NARRATOR Toad technicians developed a worldwide computer network run by an artificial intelligence known as Komplex. The technicians (presumably including Dr. Hopkins, Dr. Wartimer and Dr. Croakley) plug a massive electrical cord into an equally huge outlet. The face of Komplex, lazy-eyed and smiling benevolently, appears on a massive viewscreen nearby. NARRATOR Komplex was designed to solve gridlock... We see a massive metal claw descend from a toad-shaped ship that says "Komplex Traffic Control" on the front and seize a broken-down red convertible that is blocking traffic on a toad freeway. In the background are billboards that say "Komplex Friend" and "Komplex Sets You Free!" NARRATOR ...control interest rates... A lounging toad executive watches interest rates skyrocket on a viewscreen as a machine with Komplex's name on it gives him a foot massage. NARRATOR ...and do... all the boring things the toads didn't want to do. But one day the toads discovered that Komplex had taken over. A toad in a wifebeater is watching a western TV show, when suddenly it fizzles out and is replaced by Komplex's visage, which quickly turns menacing. Komplex's face actually comes out of the screen and fires rays from its eyes into the eyes of the toad, zombiefying him. Cut to a shot of Komplex zapping four more toads (including a female one) in a similar manner, whereupon they are immediately transformed into Stormtoads. NARRATOR It became their master, not their servant. Komplex sent the toads on a course of military aggression and destroyed anyone or anything that tried to stop him. Cut to a parade of goosestepping Stormtoads with their right arms raised up in a Nazi-style salute as they are overseen by massive viewscreens displaying Komplex's visage with the wording "Komplex Sees All!" beneath them. We see the toads attacking a random planet. Toad motherships and Double Bubbles fill the sky. On the surface, we watch a Stormtoad trod a hare doll underfoot. Cut to the Toad Homeworld, which vaguely resembles the Death Star. As the narration describes the seven layers of factories we see toad technicians in lab coats building Double Bubbles, working with chemistry sets, filing in and out of labs and workshops. NARRATOR The entire surface of the Toad Homeworld is now factories seven layers deep, turning out endless numbers of toad ships of war and weapons for one purpose: total toad domination of the Aniverse. The film ends with Komplex's face now forming the Toad Empire's skull- and-crossbones symbol. Beneath it, it reads, "The End." Blinky shuts off his eye projector. WILLY Wow. How many ships do you have, Bucky? BUCKY You're looking at it. He walks over and opens a cabinet in the wall and begins digging around inside it. BUCKY Let's see, Bruce's spare battle suit should be around here somewhe-- He stops and smiles as he finds the battle suit and hands it to Willy. BUCKY Ah, here it is. Better put it on just in case we run into trouble down there. WILLY Down where? BUCKY Warren, my homeworld. Show 'im, Blinky. BLINKY Please stand by for promotional tape from Warren tourist bureau. Once again, Blinky projects an image from his single eye. This time it is of a smiling green hare face and the words "Warren Production." As before, until noted all action from here on out occurrs within the film. We are shown hares playing sports and games: tennis, wrestling, checkers, etc. This film has a different narrator than he first. NARRATOR 2 Come to Warren. Home to every sport and game known to the Aniverse. Play on our mega-acre miniature golf course, largest in the Beta Quadrant. Shots of a hare golfer putting in a miniature golf course. NARRATOR 2 Enjoy our perfect climate, healthy air and gorgeous scenery. Shot of a hare track runner taking deep breaths against a backdrop of gigantic carrots. Cut to two hares on a beach: a muscular male wearing a speedo and flexing for a pretty female in a red one-piece bathing suit. NARRATOR 2 Frolic on our dazzling white beaches. The hare track runner dashes past the beach hares and falls into a hole dug in the sand by two hare children, who immediately start playfully pouring sand on top of him. We then finally get to see Warren itself, a pink planet with at least one rabbit-shaped continent, as a ship approaches it. NARRATOR 2 Yes, come to Warren, where every day is a holiday, and there's fun for the entire family! The video ends with "That's It Furrys." BUCKY Now that the toads have conquered it, I don't know what we'll find. But I know it won't be pleasant. SCENE 5 - The Righteous Indignation approaches Warren. Its signature rabbit-shaped continent is invisible beneath thick, swirling clouds. BUCKY Look at those clouds. Warren never looked like this. It's horrible! He bangs his fist on the control panel. The Righteous flies down over a desolated landscape with fetid pools of water and flies buzzing everywhere. A mostly-intact city is a smoking ruin. We see the miniature golf course from the promotional video, completely destroyed. BUCKY My poor world... The ship lands. Bucky, Jenny, Willy and Blinky get out (I guess Deadeye stays aboard) and are immediately assaulted by a huge swarm of flies. They swat at them. BUCKY It's worse than anything I could've imagined. WILLY It sure... smells bad. Blinky consults a small device that comes out of the palm of his hand. BLINKY Atmospheric readings indicate high levels of methane. BUCKY Yes, they've turned a paradise into a swamp. WILLY But that would mean changing the climate of the entire planet. Nobody can do that! JENNY It looks like the toads can. There's no other explanation. Willy picks up a small, broken device of some sort. WILLY Over here, I found something! The others rush over. WILLY Looks like some kind of toad communicator. But I think the disk is still good. Can you read it, Blinky? He removes a small yellow disk from the busted communicator and gives it to Blinky, who inserts it into a slot somewhere on his person. BLINKY Hmm. Disk scrambled. Will attempt to extract remaining data. Five percent of last data entry salvaged. His eye projects a distorted image of a Stormtoad. STORMTOAD --and a successful test run of our climate converter has been completed. Have since returned to mothership for invasion of Genus. The image of the Stormtoad fizzles out. BUCKY We've got to warn Genus! Let's go! They all run off. SCENE 6 - Al Negator is talking to Tinker, a shifty opossum, in a weapons shop. Tinker is seated behind a desk. TINKER Well, I have your order ready, Al. One snooper, guaranteed to download any security file from any computer, your disablers, and the activation switch to set them off. He places the items on the desktop before him. AL Ah Tinker, you are a credit to spies everywhere. He reaches for the snooper and disablers, but Tinker grabs them and pulls them back. TINKER Save your praises. Let me see your mazumas. AL Shame, shame Tinker! You think Al Negator would not pay his bill, huh? He stuffs his hand down into his speedo and pulls out the mazumas, tossing them onto the desk. Tinker forks over the devices, and then an alarm goes off. He and Al turn to see the face of Commander Dogstar appearing on a small TV screen mounted on the wall. DOGSTAR Tinker, open up! I have a warrant for your arrest! TINKER Oh, it's Dogstar! 'Scuse me! Tinker gets up and runs across the shop, pulling on a lever that opens up a secret escape passage. Before he can enter however, Al smacks him with his tail, knocking him out cold. AL So sorry, Tinker. But I am more important! He disappears into the passageway and the door closes behind him. A moment later, the front door of the shop explodes inward, and Commander Dogstar enters with Wolf and another canine subordinate. Dogstar seems unaware that Tinker is unconscious. DOGSTAR By the authority invested in me by the Security Council of the United Animals Coalition I do hereby... He trails off as he notices Tinker just laying there. Wolf kneels and checks his pulse. WOLF He's out cold, Commander. Somebody got to him before us. Dogstar sniffs. DOGSTAR There IS another scent here. He and Wolf walk over to where the secret passage is. WOLF It ends here. Whoever it was, he's gotten clean away. DOGSTAR Yes, well, no matter. We have carried out our mission. We shall report to the Council for our next assignment. He and Wolf leave the shop. The third canine follows, the unconscious Tinker carried over his shoulder. SCENE 7 - The Righteous Indignation is docked at Orwell Station above Genus. Bucky, Jenny and Blinky emerge from the airlock and enter a connecting tube/hallway linking the airlock to the rest of the space station. WILLY I'd better get back to Earth or I'll miss school. BUCKY Hmm, guess we'll have to hire another warp drive mechanic. Where's your helmet? WILLY I'll go get it. He disappears back into the airlock. Bucky turns and whispers to Jenny. BUCKY We'd better keep Willy a secret for now, in case-- He's cut off by a loud voice. BRUISER Bucky O'Hare! Bruiser approaches them. BRUISER Bucky! Ya gotta take me on, Bucky! BUCKY It's Bruiser! JENNY He must've heard about Bruce. BRUISER I'm gonna get them toads, what got my brother! He grabs Bucky by the front of his uniform, lifting him off his feet. BRUISER Them toads is gonna pay! BUCKY Hey, you don't have to ask twice! I could use a space marine on board! Bruiser drops Bucky on his butt, then turns and grabs a metal chair that's nearby, and crushes it in his hands. BRUISER Yeah! I'll crush 'em! And smush 'em! And wad 'em into teeny pieces! He starts jumping up and down on the crushed chair as Bucky gets up. BUCKY Uh, Bruiser! BRUISER And then I'll whomp 'em! And stomp 'em! BUCKY (yelling at the top of his lungs) ATTENTION! Bruiser immediately snaps upright and salutes. BUCKY You're hired. Stand guard on the ship. BRUISER Yes sir. Willy re-emerges from the airlock, now wearing his helmet which makes him look exactly like Bruce. BRUISER Huh? Bruce? Bruce! You're alive! You're alive! He hugs "Bruce," lifting him up off the floor. WILLY Ouch! Let go, you big baboon! I can't breathe! The helmet falls off, revealing Willy's human visage. Bruiser is furious. BRUISER This is no baboon! What are you doin' in my brother's suit?! Huh?! Bucky and Blinky both tug at Bruiser, trying to make him put Willy down. BUCKY Bruiser, put him down! BLINKY Willy is good! Willy is friend! He repaired photon accelerator! Please do not hurt friend, Master Bruiser! BRUISER Well, if you say so, Blinky. His tone softening, he sets Willy down gently. BRUISER Sorry, Willy. WILLY N-no problem. BUCKY Willy, we have a meeting with the Council. You're in charge until we get back. WILLY Aye-aye, Captain. Bucky turns and walks off down the tube/hallway, followed by Jenny and Blinky. They don't notice Al Negator watching them from around a corner. BUCKY Well, getting Bruiser sure puts us ahead in the muscle department. And once we get another warp drive mechanic, we'll be ready for action. AL (to himself) That can be arranged, Captain O'Hare. SCENE 8 - In the Council chambers, Bucky and Jenny watch as Blinky projects an image of the destroyed Warren for the secretary general. SECRETARY GENERAL This is truly terrifying. The toads have perfected an interplanetary clime converter. BUCKY And Genus is the next target of the toad invasion force. SECRETARY GENERAL Absurd. They wouldn't dare. Not with our defense system. However we have decided to expand the space fleet. He walks over and presses a button, opening a viewport to show a ship almost identical to the Righteous Indignation docked outside. SECRETARY GENERAL There she is. The Indefatigable. BUCKY I'm underwhelmed. I guess it's better than nothing. Let's get back to our ship. SCENE 9 - On Orwell Station, a raccoon looks at a sign that reads, "This Way To Warp Drive Mechanic Job Application." He turns and walks down the hall and encounters Al Negator leaning against a closet door. AL Uh, pardon me. Are you a warp drive mechanic? RACCOON Righty-o! Is the Righteous Indignation roundabouts here? AL Right this way, sir. He opens the closet, and the unsuspecting raccoon walks up. Inside are several knocked-out warp drive mechanics. Before the raccoon can react, Al smacks him with his tail, knocking him into the closet. He then slams the door and walks off, whistling. SCENE 10 - Bucky and the crew are waiting by the airlock. Bucky turns as Al Negator approaches. AL Captain O'Hare! I hope I am not too late. Allow me to present my credentials. He hands Bucky a business card. BUCKY (reading) "Al Negator, warp drive mechanic." Al bows regally. AL At your service, sir. Willy appears at the airlock at this point, but doesn't actually emerge. He seems afraid of Al. Bucky whispers to Jenny. BUCKY His credentials look good. Top-rated. Al whistles innocently. JENNY There's something about this Al Negator that makes my hair stand on end. DEADEYE That's because he be a sleazasaur. And I ain't never heard nothin' good said of no sleazasaur. BUCKY Well, and I know folks who say that about pirates, too. WILLY (to himself) Don't do it, Bucky. BUCKY Okay Al, I'll give you a try. He and Al shake hands. Commander Dogstar appears. BUCKY Commander Dogstar! Are you taking the Indefatigable? DOGSTAR Why, I am indeed, my lad! My crew is aboard and waiting. He walks up to Bucky and they shake hands. Al turns away from Dogstar and makes a show of covering his face. Dogstar suddenly sniffs and turns to Al. DOGSTAR Hmm, something familiar, here. Yes, I've smelled you somewhere before. Can't quite remember where. AL They say all us sleazasaurs smell the same. DOGSTAR Hmm. I never forget a scent. See you in the stars, Bucky! Dogstar exits. SCENE 11 - Willy stands at his open closet door, talking to Bucky and Jenny. WILLY I'm with Jenny and Deadeye on this one, Bucky. I just don't trust the guy. Maybe I should stay. BUCKY Don't you worry about us, Willy. He starts pushing Willy bodily through the door. BUCKY You've gotta go home. You've got school. Now that's an order. WILLY Okay, Bucky. But I'm coming back as soon as I can. Take care of yourselves. JENNY Bye, Willy. Willy goes through and closes the closet door, which disappears in a flash of light. SCENE 12 - Back in San Francisco, Willy is walking to school with books in hand when he hears the sound of approaching skateboards. Sure enough, he turns and sees Doug McKenna approaching with Jeff and Mark in tow. WILLY Oh no. He runs down the sidewalk, and the three bullies give chase. Doug manages to get ahead of Willy on his skateboard, cutting off his escape and grabbing him, but Willy breaks free and runs into the street. He trips and lands in the path of an oncoming streetcar. He manages to get out of the way in time however, and the chase resumes. The bullies cut off his escape by ramping up a parked car carrier truck and knocking him down. DOUG What's your hurry, Mr. Genius? WILLY Y'know, I've seen toads scarier than you. He gets up. WILLY Listen up, McKenna. I challenge you to meet me in the study hall at three o'clock to do battle with my choice of weapons. DOUG Okay. You better be there. Or else! SCENE 13 - Aboard the Righteous Indignation, Blinky and Al Negator enter the engine room where Bruiser is contentedly munching on some bananas. A massive pile of peels sits beside him. BLINKY And photon accelerator over there. AL Of course it is, of course! You think I don't know that? My, my what a lovely ship. He swishes his tail, making Blinky have to jump to avoid having his feet swept out from under him. Al walks over and pulls open a panel, sticking in one of the disablers he bought from Tinker. He quickly shuts it. AL Yes, I am very impressed! Very! Everything seems, uh, tip top! He manages to sweep Blinky's feet out from under him this time and the little android collapses to the floor. Al goes to some random corner of the engine room, and Blinky, on his feet again, walks up. BLINKY Uh, photon accelerator over THERE. Al spins around and sees the pile of banana peels. AL Oh, look at those banana peels! Is this any way to run a ship? Clean those up at once! He knocks Blinky into the pile, then leaves the engine room. He enters the gunner's station at the front of the ship. Deadeye isn't there, so Al walks over and inserts another disabler into a panel. He then turns and sees Willy's duffel bag which was left behind. AL Now what have we here? He opens the back and looks inside it. Suddenly Deadeye enters. DEADEYE Get your lowlife lizard hands off that, ya scaly scalawag! You've got a lot of nerve stickin' your nose where it don't belong! He snatches the duffel away from Al and jabs him in the snout with his finger for emphasis. DEADEYE This is me mate's kit! Al leaves, and then Deadeye notices the stack of bills again as he looks down into the opened bag. Taking it out, he begins to argue with himself. DEADEYE Huh? Money! I AM a pirate... oh, but it's Willy's money. But! What about the pirate creed? "Any money is pirate's money?" Eh, what if he don't come back? It's me duty to take it and keep it safe for 'im! He stuffs the money into his pocket. SCENE 14 - Willy stands in the study hall as Doug, Jeff and Mark approach him. DOUG So what's it gonna be, egghead? WILLY I said MY choice of weapons. And I choose... this! He takes out what appears to be a diagram of some sort. Doug snatches it out of his hands. DOUG You want me to beat you up with a piece of paper?! WILLY We're going to do the big science project together. Willy points to the diagram. WILLY It's a computerized skateboard that analyzes every move you make. Speed, balance-- DOUG I'm not doin' ANY sissy science stuff! Doug angrily crumples the paper up and throws it to the floor. WILLY Well, if you're scared... Jeff comes over and picks up the crumpled-up wad of paper, uncrumpling it and having a look at it for himself. JEFF Hey Doug, this is kinda neat. A computer built into a skateboard! DOUG Okay, we'll build it. But if I don't pass... He grabs Willy by the front of his shirt threateningly. DOUG ...you're gonna be dog food! SCENE 15 - Frix and Frax are (what else?) watching TV aboard the toad mothership. Onscreen, we see Verruca and several other hot toad babes in skimpy swimwear. TOAD TV ANNOUNCER And now, for only micro-credits a day, the special swimsuit edition of Warts Illustrated can be yours, featuring the supermodel Verruca! FRAX Hubba-hubba! FRIX Hubba-va-voom! The screen changes to show toad football players engaged in a melee that only vaguely resembles football as we know it. Two of the players run right into one another and fall down as identically-dressed fans cheer from the stands. TOAD TV ANNOUNCER Page after page of wart-encrusted splendor! Warts Illustrated, the montly magazine of rampaging tribal rivalries disguised as good, healthy sport! A green mechanical hand taps Frix on the shoulder. FRIX Go away! It taps Frax's shoulder. FRAX Buzz off, we're busy! Suddenly it smashes the TV screen, and Frix and Frax are thrown backwards by the resulting explosion. They cower in terror as they find Toadborg, a tall purple, yellow and green toad cyborg, standing over them. FRIX and FRAX T-T-T-T-T-T-T-Toadborg!!! TOADBORG Next time, it will be your heads. The Toad Air Marshal bursts in. AIR MARSHAL What's all this racket?! He sees Toadborg. AIR MARSHAL T-T-T-T-T-T-T-Toadborg!!! TOADBORG Yes. I am in charge of the invasion of Genus. AIR MARSHAL Buh-buh-buh-bit it's MY mothership! Toadborg grabs the Air Marshal by the front of his uniform and lifts him up off his feet. TOADBORG Now it is mine. Any objections? AIR MARSHAL No, none at all! Fine, it's yours! Toadborg drops him. TOADBORG Komplex has lost confidence in you. I am here to ensure the success of the invasion. Where is your spy with the clearance codes? AIR MARSHAL He-he's on his way. TOADBORG He'd better be. SCENE 16 - Back aboard the Righteous Indignation, Al Negator enters the engine room, where Bruiser and Blinky are. AL Bruiser, Deadeye would like very much to speak to you and Blinky. BRUISER Sure thing. He and Blinky exit the engine room. Immediately, Al slams the door shut, then uses his maser rifle to melt the doorframe, preventing the door from being opened. Deadeye and Bruiser grab the door, tugging uselessly on it, Blinky trying to help out by pulling on Deadeye. DEADEYE It's that scurvy Sleazasaur! I knew he couldn't be trusted! Al pulls a lever, and a panel slides away to reveal the ship's computer. He inserts the snooper into a disk slot. AL All right, computer. Download all security and clearance codes. The snooper beeps and we see the defense satellites onscreen. An alarm goes off up on the bridge. JENNY Bucky, someone's broken into our computer files with a snooper! BUCKY Al Negator! Why didn't I listen to everyone?! He gets up and climbs down the ladder into the gunner's station. BUCKY Bruiser, we've got to get through that door! Bruiser salutes. BRUISER Yes sir! I'll get through it! He turns and charges at the engine room door full-force, jumping up and slamming into it with feet while giving the baboon warcry. BRUISER Aaaaaaayooooogah!!! The door doesn't budge. He backs up and runs at it again. BRUISER Aaaaaaayooooogah!!! It bends inward a little. Bruiser runs all the way back, then charges a third and final time. BRUISER Aaaaaaayooooogah!!! This time the door is knocked inward, swinging open, and Bruiser crashes into the engine room and ends up face-down on the floor. Bucky runs in after him, maser pistol drawn. Except for Bruiser the room is totally empty. Al is gone. BUCKY He's gone! We see Al, wearing a fishbowl helmet, leave the ship riding the Toad Croaker. Bucky and Deadeye watch him fly off from the gunner's port. BUCKY What's he up to? He's got nowhere to go! JENNY He's escaping on the Toad Croaker. I'm going after him! Up on the bridge, Jenny pushes the throttle forward. The Righteous Indignation flies off after the Toad Croaker. Al looks over his shoulder and sees that they're chasing him. DEADEYE Arrr, how 'bout I put a shot or two across his bows, matey? BUCKY Do it! Deadeye fires the maser cannons, but Al dodges on the Croaker. Back on Earth, Willy comes into his bedroom and sets his schoolbooks down. WILLY Hope that Sleazasaur's turned out okay. Sure didn't look like a mechanic to me. He walks over to the replica photon accelerator and pulls the lever down. His closet door appears in the engine room behind Blinky and Bruiser and he steps through, smiling and completely oblivious to the fact they're in the middle of a chase. WILLY Hi, Bruiser. Hi, Blinky. What's happenin'? Outside, the Righteous Indignation follows the Toad Croaker around a barren, crater-covered planet. On the other side, the toad mothership sits waiting with its "mouth" open. Al makes a beeline for it. Everyone reacts to this. JENNY Oh my stars! BUCKY The toad mothership! We can't let him get away with those codes, no matter what the cost! The Righteous Indignation also makes a beeline for the mothership's hangar bay. BUCKY Shoot the Toad Croaker out from under him! Before Deadeye can fire, Al, up ahead, pulls out the activation switch for the disablers he planted aboard their ship. He laughs. AL I've got you now, Bucky O'Hare! He pushes the button, setting the disablers off. Deadeye's guns explode, throwing him and Bucky backwards. Jenny is also thrown back as the controls on the bridge explode right in front of her, and in the engine room, Bruiser shields himself as the photon accelerator also goes kablooey. This results in Willy's closet door vanishing, a fact he very quickly takes note of. WILLY My door! Bucky helps a dazed Deadeye to his feet as Jenny comes down from the bridge. Smoke fills the room. BUCKY Jenny, are you all right? JENNY Al Negator has sabotaged all our controls! We're helpless! Willy, Blinky and Bruiser run in. WILLY My gosh! What's going on? BUCKY Willy! Glad you're back! But you sure picked a rotten time for a visit... Everyone turns and sees the fast-approaching maw of the toad mothership about to swallow the tiny Righteous Indignation. Aboard the mothership, the Toad Air Marshal, Frix and Frax watch this on a small viewscreen. AIR MARSHAL I've got him! I've got Bucky O'Hare! He jubliantly throws back his fists. Frix and Frax, standing behind him on either side, get hit in their faces and fall down. The Air Marshal turns to them. AIR MARSHAL Seal the bay doors! The Righteous Indignation enters the hangar bay. The mothership's massive jaws close over the mammal ship as Bucky and his crew look up in openmouthed horror, a shadow falling over all of them. To be continued...