"Blood in the Water" by Rygar Additions by DJ Clawson First draft - 7/2/05 Second draft - 8/18/05 Third draft - 9/16/05 Final draft - 9/17/05 SCENE 1 - REGEN BASE, UNKNOWN LOCATION, ANIVERSE This lair, hidden so well somewhere in the aniverse, is home to CAMELEOUS, de facto head of the horned lizard regen population in this dimension. He sits at a table in a spacious common room of the angular building, playing a heated game of poker with a group of his closest associates, all lizards as well. Cameleous has the largest stack of poker chips sitting in front of him. The lizard across from Cameleous begins to deal when another LIZARD rushes in and comes up next to Cameleous. LIZARD Sir ... CAMELEOUS (not looking up from the cards) This had best be important for you to interrupt my game, lackey. LIZARD I know, sir, and it is, sir. Your message has successfully been transmitted across our network, and everyone has responded. They'll be converging on this spot at this time tomorrow. CAMELEOUS (looking at his cards) Excellent. You may go. LIZARD Yes, sir. The lizard runs off. Cameleous remains smooth, maintaining his poker face. He tosses two chips into the middle of the table. CAMELEOUS Call. SCENE 2 - SPACE The next day, The Screaming Mimi zooms along its course, piloted by CAPTAIN BUCKY O'HARE. Sitting next to him is CAPTAIN MIMI LAFLEUR, checking the scanners. BUCKY Anything? MIMI (shakes her head) Nothing. Not one sign of the toads. BUCKY (slightly irritated) Just like yesterday, and the day before. They're not up to anything. They're focusing their efforts on Genus, while the UAC keeps sending us on patrol for no good ... MIMI (interrupting) Calm down, Bucky. Complaining isn't going to do us any good. BUCKY (calmer, though still vexed) I just can't believe they keep sending us on patrol day after day, when everyone knows it's not going to do any good. (sighs) I just wish Warren had some decent military leadership, is all. Moreland doesn't know what he's doing, but he's handing us orders anyway. MIMI I agree with you, and so does Dogstar. He's trying to work with Moreland and the few military personnel on Warren, coming up with a plan for taking back Genus. BUCKY Ah. So *that's* why we're always on patrol and he never is. They must have more comfortable chairs in those conference rooms than in these frigates. Mimi just shrugs and turns back to the scanners. Bucky turns to the panel on the wall next to him BUCKY (pressing the intercom button) Everything all right in the engine room, Blinky? AFC BLINKY responds. BLINKY (over comm) Affirmative. BUCKY (pressing another button) And in the gunner's chambers? A little static comes over the intercom, though a faint "yup" can be heard. Bucky takes his finger off the intercom button and turns to Mimi. BUCKY I like how they decided to stick Deadeye on Dogstar's crew, too. MIMI Hey, they stuck me with you. I wanted Jonathan on my ship. BUCKY (changing the subject) You're *sure* this thing doesn't have autopilot? MIMI (rolls her eyes) If you ask me that one more time ... BUCKY (facing forward again) OK, OK. Sorry. Can't blame me for being a little bored. (under his breath) Or tremendously bored. The Screaming Mimi flies on, steadily making its way through miles and miles of toad-free space. SCENE 3 - THE DUWITT RESIDENCE, SAN FRANCISCO, EARTH DR. DAVID DUWITT and MRS. SUSAN DUWITT are sitting around the lunch table in the kitchen, eating a vegan meal that Susan prepared. Also at the table is WILLY DUWITT, valiantly trying to eat the food and spend quality time with his parents. WILLY (poking at the roots on his plate) So what did Principal Dorkens say? MRS. DUWITT I explained the situation to him, and he was very concerned. I know you two don't exactly have a strong relationship, but he's always liked you. You're the school's star pupil, after all. (taking a bite) He said that he'd talk to all the eleventh-grade teachers and let them know what the situation was. He also said he'd ask them to prepare packets of all the schoolwork you missed since school started three weeks ago. It'll be a lot, but he said he wasn't worried about you. DR. DUWITT Are you up to it, son? WILLY Yeah. I mean, I let my grades slip once. I don't want it to happen again. DR. DUWITT (reaching for his glass) The question is, is schoolwork the only thing you'll be concentrating on? Or it is just going to be one part of your life again? Willy puts down his fork and muses for a second. WILLY It's ... (takes a breath and prepares himself) I'm going back. I have to. It's just ... I can't stay away. It's not fair to my friends. The DuWitts expected this, though Dr. DuWitt feels a little more worried about it than his wife does. WILLY And before you say anything, I'm not going to let it control my life anymore. I know I got really caught up in it before, and I know what happened because of it. I don't want that to happen again. I'm going to spend as much time here as I do there. Probably more here, actually. (beat) Of course, this is assuming they take me back. I don't know if they will. DR. DUWITT As long as you understand what you're doing and know the risks, Willy. MRS. DUWITT Just let us know when you're around, OK? (glances away) I know we haven't always been the best parents, but we love you, and we want to see you. WILLY I know. (smiles a little) I love you, too. And I'm sorry. MRS. DUWITT You don't have to apologize. You did what you felt was right. DR. DUWITT And now, you're still doing what you feel is right. You're fighting for what you believe in, Willy, and we respect that. (beat) We just don't want anything else to happen to you. WILLY I know. And it won't. DR. DUWITT When are you going back? WILLY Later today, I guess. I'm not ready for it just yet. Right now, I just want to finish this lunch with you guys. The DuWitts smile. Willy, though nervous, puts on a brave face and downs another bite. SCENE 4 - SPACE Bucky, even more bored, checks his watch. BUCKY We're not due back for another hour. (shakes his head) This is ridiculous. MIMI I recognize that tone of voice. What're you thinking, Bucky? Bucky works the control panel with a determined look on his face. BUCKY We're changing course. MIMI Let me guess: to Aldebaran. BUCKY All this patrolling dead space is getting us nowhere. (beat) I want to find out what happened to Jenny. MIMI Jenny can take care of herself. We've got other things to worry about. BUCKY Since when are *you* the voice of reason? MIMI You don't see me trying to find Fritz, do you? BUCKY That's because you have no idea where to look. MIMI Actually, I have a few planets I'd be checking out if I didn't know that Fritz could handle himself. Look, Jenny knows what she's doing. So does Fritz. They wouldn't have left us if it wasn't due to extreme circumstances. BUCKY (shakes his head) You're doing an awfully good job of not letting this get to you. Mimi ponders in silence for a moment. MIMI It's better than letting myself get hurt again. (beat) Fine. Aldebaran. Let me know when we get there. Without another word, Mimi climbs out of her chair and slinks down the ladder. As she steps down it, Bucky sits alone. BUCKY (thinking) (beat) Bucky's right paw slowly curls up into a fist. As quickly as he clenches it, though, he releases it and grabs the chair's armrest. BUCKY (thinking) (beat, frowns) Bucky sits alone in the cockpit as The Screaming Mimi takes a sharp turn and speeds toward Aldebaran. SCENE 5 - WILLY'S ROOM, THE DUWITT RESIDENCE, SAN FRANCISCO, EARTH After lunch, Willy enters his room and sits down on his bed. Trying to avoid it, he struggles with himself but finally casts a glance at the photon accelerator. It somehow has both a calming and an agitating effect on Willy. WILLY (thinking) Willy sits still for a moment. WILLY (thinking) (quickly, out loud) No! No. It's that kind of crap that got me all messed up in the first place. I know it's not true. My parents want me. I ... (beat) I ... I don't really have any friends, I guess. I spent so much time in the aniverse, I don't even know who half the people in my class are. (blinks) Scott. Willy sighs. WILLY Yeah, right. I don't even know Scott's last name. Or where he is. His aunt could live in Canada, for all I know. Frustrated, Willy begins rocking back and forth on top of his bed, just slightly. He can't stop thinking about Scott. He begins concentrating, and suddenly, his forehead begins to glow a faint pink. WILLY Wait ... In Willy's mind's eye, his hospital room appears. Somehow, though, he's not looking at it through his point of view. Instead, he can somehow see everything in the room at once. He closes his eyes and concentrates. Sitting at the foot of Scott's bed is his medical chart. The image in Willy's mind zooms in on it, and he can clearly make out Scott's first and last name. WILLY Osbourne. Willy's concentration breaks, and he stands up. He hops out of his room and runs downstairs, quickly returning with phonebook in hand. He sits back down and flips it open. WILLY (scanning) Osbourne ... I just hope his aunt has the same last name. (beat) And that she lives in town. Willy makes it to the O's and then to the Osbourne listings. There's about thirty of them. WILLY Great. Willy begins going down the list. He feels another tinge in his forehead as he reaches one of the entries. His finger rests on it. WILLY This one. It's this one. He's in San Francisco. Willy picks up the robot-shaped phone from beside his bed and begins dialing. WILLY (to himself) Willy finishes dialing and puts the phone up to his ear. It rings twice, and then a sickeningly sweet VOICE chirps through on the other end. VOICE Hello! Danielle Osbourne. WILLY Uh, hi. Can I please speak to Scott? There is a pause. DANIELLE (her voice noticeably sour now) You want to talk to Scott? May I ask who's calling? WILLY (a bit hesitant) Uh, this is Willy. DANIELLE (to herself) Willy. He never mentioned a Willy ... (out loud) One sec. Willy hears the sound of the phone being put down, followed by a few muffled calls for Scott. With a slight rustle, someone picks up on the other end. SCOTT Hello? WILLY (excited) Scott! SCOTT (surprised) Willy? WILLY Hey! SCOTT How did you find me, man? WILLY Long story. Listen ... SCOTT Dude, it's great to hear from you. We gotta ... WILLY Not now. I need to talk. SCOTT (detecting the tone in Willy's voice) What's up, Willy? WILLY I'm going back. SCOTT (a little shocked) Wait, what? WILLY Yeah. Back to the aniverse. SCOTT Already? WILLY I know, I know. SCOTT Do you think it's a good idea? WILLY They need me. SCOTT But shouldn't you wait a little? I mean, you just got out of the hospital. The bunny guy ... WILLY Captain O'Hare. SCOTT Right. Sorry, I'm bad with names. O'Hare probably got another engineer to replace you. WILLY Heh. That never seems to turn out well. (more serious) Look, I told you all about the aniverse and everything because I know I can trust you. I just need someone to talk to, to tell me it's the right decision. SCOTT Do you really think going back so soon is the right idea? Isn't it a little dangerous? WILLY It's a war. So, yeah. SCOTT What about the toads? WILLY What about them? SCOTT What if they capture you again? Have you thought about that? WILLY You mean because I'm a traitor to the Toad Empire? SCOTT Yeah, that. Willy says nothing. SCOTT It'd be real bad, wouldn't it? Willy takes a deep breath. WILLY This isn't what I wanted to hear, Scott. SCOTT (suddenly moved) Yeah, but it's what you *need* to hear. I've had enough shit happen to me in my life, Willy, and if there's anything that matters, it's learning from your mistakes. Have you learned anything from this? Willy pauses. SCOTT No, really, I mean it. I'm trying to be your friend here. If you go back right this second, how is it going to be any different than before? WILLY (defensively) I'm going to come back home more often. SCOTT And why is that? WILLY I've realized how important it is. SCOTT You sound like a robot. How important *what* is? WILLY My family. My friends. SCOTT You said you didn't have any friends. WILLY (slowly) You're my friend. Scott falls silent for a second. WILLY Look, I've got your address, and I think we should hang out sometime. I just ... I just want you to know what's going on with me. SCOTT (gently) Shit, Willy. I still don't think it's a good idea. But I know I'm not going to change your mind. Just ... just take care of yourself, OK? I wanna see you again. I don't have too many friends anymore myself. Willy looks down at his legs, which are touching the ground. He can remember when he'd sit on the bed and his legs would dangle, not quite long enough to connect with the floor. It feels like an awfully long time ago. WILLY This is my life, Scott. The aniverse is a part of me. (beat) I just forgot that Earth is a part of me, too. And I won't forget that again. SCOTT Just take care of yourself, Willy. You said it yourself: This is war. WILLY I'll call you when I get back. SCOTT You better. (beat) Good to hear from you, man. Take care. WILLY I'll do my best. Willy hangs up the phone. He stares at his silly-looking phone, then shakes his head. He takes a deep breath and stands up. SCENE 6 - REGEN BASE, UNKNOWN LOCATION, ANIVERSE Though the regen base is well hidden and cloaked to all aniverse- native detection methods, swarms of ships are heading toward it. The base is situated on a large asteroid, its dull green and brown color scheme effectively cloaking it from view to passersby. Anyone taking a closer look, however, would easily see the three-story-tall edifice, its sharp spires and odd design immediately imprinting itself in memory. The ships land in a designated area next to the building. The passengers -- all horned lizards, and all resembling one another -- disembark and make their way toward the entrance. A few engage in muted conversation, though the crowd's tone is generally silent, yet somehow sinister. As the horned lizards enter, they make their way to a large, round assembly room in the heart of the building. Cameleous sits at its center, wearing his religious robes and looking calm and collected. As the few remaining empty seats become filled, he stands up to speak. The crowd, which was already rather quiet, falls into complete silence. CAMELEOUS (slowly looking back and forth over the crowd) I thank you all for responding to my message. I know you have waited patiently these past few years. We are not a headstrong or foolish organization, and we have waited quietly for the proper time to make our move. That time has been longer in coming than any of us would like, but it is upon us now. (beat) As some of you already know, Aldebaran has lapsed into civil war. A few regens in the audience murmur excitedly, but most are content with letting a cold smile creep across their lips. CAMELEOUS Plans are being distributed by our network computers as we speak. We will take action within the week. (smiles) I assume I need say no more. From within the crowd, a voice speaks up. LIZARD If I may interject, sir ... CAMELEOUS (his eyes narrowing) Speak quickly. LIZARD (bows slightly) Thank you. (speaking a little louder) This is indeed a time of turmoil for the aniverse. The toad armies have invaded Genus, and the mammals are dead or in hiding. Would this not be a fortuitous time to ... CAMELEOUS (interrupting) You forget your place, and ours. There will always be mammals, until we say there should be no more. It is the same with the toads. I have chosen to keep us out of their way for a reason. It is much less expensive and taxing -- not to mention more amusing -- to simply watch the fools slaughter each other. (beat) Regardless, our numbers are too small to take over the aniverse right now. There will be time, but that time is not now. Ambition encourages, while grudges weigh down. (his eyes glinting) Let us, then, settle our grudges first. (his voice rising for the first time) Death to Aldebaran! Death to the heretics! For the glory of Frith! The laconic crowd bursts into its most widespread noise yet -- a cry of assent. Cameleous raises his thin arms high, and the lizards rise to leave. One of the LIZARDS, however, walks a little more slowly toward his ship, apparently deep in thought. LIZARD (thinking) (looking around, still thinking) (smiles slightly) SCENE 7 - SPACE OUTSIDE ALDEBARAN The Screaming Mimi leaps out of hyperspace and slows down, many, many miles away from the planet below. Feeling the ship exit hyperspace, Mimi climbs back into the cockpit and joins Bucky. The two look out the window, surprised by what they see. The familiar blue globe of Aldebaran is simultaneously obscured and enhanced by innumerable flickering lights whizzing about the surface. Though individual dots aren't visible, whatever is causing the light moves softly, shifting its flows and patterns almost hypnotically. BUCKY (quietly) Quark demons. MIMI (not looking away from the planet) Let me guess: I shouldn't ask, because I shouldn't know. BUCKY Neither should I. (frowns) I don't know what this means, but it can't be good. No wonder we haven't been able to establish communication. MIMI (following the rhythmic ebb of the quark demon blanket) You think it's safe to try to fly through? BUCKY Nothing is safe on Aldebaran if you don't understand it. And sometimes even if you do. Bucky sighs and shakes his head. BUCKY We're not going to learn anything from this. Except that Jenny definitely left for a damn good reason. MIMI (apparently irritated) How can you put up with all this crap? Bucky pauses, then almost laughs. BUCKY For the same reason you put up with all of Fritz's crap. MIMI Well, I've taken enough of Fritz's crap to last me about ten lifetimes. I ... (shakes her head) I don't know how much more of it I can take, Bucky. BUCKY (trying to lighten the mood just a bit) Well, at least he's better than Roedecker, right? This sets Mimi off. MIMI Roedecker! Don't even bring that slime up! (closes her eyes) First Vince, then Fritz ... (turns and looks at Bucky) Why do I always go for these stupid assholes? BUCKY (a little surprised) Calm down, Mimi. I didn't mean anything. MIMI I know, I know. Forget it. (looks away) You know, Bucky, the only good man I ever fell for was you. Bucky almost reflexively pulls his paw back. He sits in silence for a moment. He's known Mimi to be moody, but he's never seen her like this. He sits and thinks for a minute, remembering all the times Mimi flirted with him. Her advances put him off -- he'd always been much more enamored with Jenny -- but deep down, he occasionally thought about how much less complicated dating her would be, compared to dating a secretive Aldebaran witch. BUCKY (thinking) (blinks) (pauses) Bucky stops, then rubs his temples. BUCKY (thinking) Bucky looks at Mimi. He frowns. BUCKY (thinking) Bucky sighs and turns back to Aldebaran, wondering exactly what is going on underneath the protection of the undulating lights. He then turns and looks at Mimi again, who is staring out the cockpit. MIMI It's just stupid, the amount of slack we give them. I *knew* Fritz had dirt clinging to him, but I was willing to ignore it all. I let his charm get to me. And I can't imagine how you put up with Jenny sometimes. She gives you so much crap, and you're such a great guy. You don't deserve it. BUCKY (not wanting to make things worse) That's just how relationships are sometimes. MIMI I'm not saying Jenny's not a great girl, but come on. If anyone deserves to know what's going on in her life, it's you. And you just take it. You'd do anything for her. She runs away on us, and you go looking for her. You show *concern* for her. (looks slightly away) Roedecker never showed any concern for me. Fritz never really did, either. I could tell myself they cared all day long, but I could never ... prove it to myself. (beat) That's what got me upset. That you're out looking for Jenny, trying to make sure she's OK. BUCKY (reassuringly) I'm sure Fritz would send the whole fleet after you if you went missing. MIMI Hmph. Only if his reputation would be damaged otherwise. Bucky doesn't say anything in response. Instead, he lets the tension fall away. Mimi only looks vulnerable for another moment. Then, her usual military demeanor returns. MIMI I guess we're done here, huh? Bucky takes one last look at Aldebaran, mulling over what Mimi has said. BUCKY Yeah. SCENE 8 - DILE'S HOSPITAL ROOM, WARREN GENERAL HOSPITAL ENGINEER DILE O'CROCK lies bandaged in his bed, a soft symphony of beeps surrounding him, courtesy of the various machines hooked up to him. He's completely stabilized, but his wounds are taking very long to heal. At the moment, no one is visiting him, though there is a stack of cards and flowers on the table by his bed. Even people who never trusted the UAC's lone sleazasaur employee have sent kind notes. A soft knock on the door goes unnoticed. It creaks softly open, and BRUISER enters. He looks a little downtrodden, though not terrible. His eyes survey the room and stop on Dile. He takes a few tentative steps toward him. BRUISER (softly) Heya, Dile. Bruiser pauses. Words aren't easy for him, usually. BRUISER Uh, I know we ain't talked much, ever since that time ya beat me pretty good at "Combat Chess Craft." But, uh ... you was really good, an' I liked ya, so I thought ... I thought I'd come visit. Another pause. Bruiser almost feels guilty for visiting. Betelgeusian Berserker Baboons aren't supposed to be emotionless, but they're not supposed to feel hollow inside when a comrade is wounded in battle, either. BRUISER It ain't fair, ya know? Youse was th' engineer. Da engineer ain't supposed ta get hurt. The big tough guys like me are. (beat) But you got hurt. Jus' like Willy got hurt. (softly) Ya got hurt real bad. Dile does not move; his vital signs do not change. Bruiser starts to feel stupid, talking to someone that cannot respond to him. BRUISER (scratching his back awkwardly) Yeah. I guess I should go. I jus' ... jus' wanted to say to my friend. (pauses) Yer my friend, Dile. All youse little guys're my friends. Bruiser turns around and leaves, not sure whether he's more ashamed for having been there or having left so quickly. SCENE 9 - WAR ROOM, UAC AUXILIARY HEADQUARTERS, WARREN This well-lit rectangular room boasts a long, ornate mahogany table that nearly fills it. Sitting at the table are PRESIDENT MORELAND, WIA CHAIRMAN ARCHER, COMMANDER SIRIUS DOGSTAR, and a number of other high-ranking personnel, most of them hares. Tempers remain calm, though there is clearly an argument taking place. Just as Archer starts to offer his opinion, the door opens and a deer OFFICIAL walks in. OFFICIAL Excuse me, sirs ... ARCHER (upset at being interrupted, but not rude) Yes, what it is? OFFICIAL We are receiving a broadcast. The sender is asking for Captain O'Hare. MORELAND O'Hare's on patrol. Patch it through to him. OFFICIAL The sender wants to speak to someone here, and immediately, sir. ARCHER That's weird. DOGSTAR (standing up) I suppose I'll handle this call. If you don't mind, gentlemen? MORELAND (nodding) Go ahead. (mostly joking) Without you in here, maybe I can win this debate. Dogstar follows the deer down a hallway and into a communications room, where a few technicians are handling calls. On one of the screens is the lizard who left Cameleous's meeting with a plot in mind. LIZARD I asked to speak to O'Hare! DOGSTAR (a little suspicious of the lizard) Captain O'Hare is on patrol at the moment. We can patch you through to him, if you'd like ... LIZARD (eyeing Dogstar) Promise me my payment first! DOGSTAR Payment? In my day, coldbloods at least told you their schemes before attempting extortion. LIZARD (sighing) Stupid mammals. (intently) I have information that would be most valuable to Captain O'Hare, and I am willing to share it for a modest sum. Dogstar rolls his eyes. DOGSTAR (thinking) (to the lizard) What does this information concern? LIZARD The impending doom of Aldebaran. This catches Dogstar's attention. Aldebaran, strange and secretive though it may be, is a partial member of the UAC. DOGSTAR I assume your information is authentic? LIZARD (hissing) Do you think I would deal with a mammal if it weren't actually to my advantage? DOGSTAR That depends on how much money you're asking for. LIZARD Eight thousand simoleans. DOGSTAR Now see here! You expect me to ... Dogstar pauses. He doesn't trust lizards, but Aldebaran might actually be in danger. He can't risk it. DOGSTAR Hmph! I'll patch you through to O'Hare. If you send your account information, we'll wire one thousand simoleans now, and the remaining simoleans later, assuming you prove trustworthy. LIZARD (eyes narrowing) I suppose that will do. OFFICIAL Uh, Commander Dogstar, are you authorized to ... Dogstar nudges the deer with his elbow. DOGSTAR (whispering) Not quite, but I have learned a thing or two about playing politics. (to a technician) Patch this through to O'Hare, and patch me through on a separate connection. TECHNICIAN (saluting) Sir! SCENE 10 - SPACE OUTSIDE ALDEBARAN The Screaming Mimi makes a 180-degree turn, now facing away from Aldebaran. In the cockpit, Bucky and Mimi prepare for a hyperspace jump using the ship's mark-5 photon accelerator. BUCKY (into the intercom) OK, Blinky, we're ready to ... Just then, the ship rocks violently. BUCKY Whoa! What was that? MIMI (checking the radar) There's nothing on the radar ... BUCKY (looking through the cockpit window) Toads. MIMI (looking up) What? A fleet of two dozen double bubbles has appeared out of nowhere and is flying straight toward The Screaming Mimi, plasma blasters firing away. The ship continues to rock; the shields are doing their job, though they won't last long with this kind of punishment. BUCKY Taking evasive action! Bucky grabs the controls and steers the ship away from the volley of oncoming fire, trying to make a beeline away from the toads. MIMI (into the intercom) Pete, you see 'em? PETE (over comm) Yup! A few bursts of fire coming from The Screaming Mimi tag the double bubbles, though they mammals are easily outgunned, as well as outnumbered. Bucky is flying erratically, trying to shake the ambush. BUCKY Where did they come from? MIMI I don't know! They don't show up on our radar! BUCKY Well, that's just great! Why not? MIMI (a bit upset) A cloaking device. Probably another gift from Willy. BUCKY (concentrating on his piloting) But we got Willy back a month ago! The toads have always been on radar before. MIMI It probably took them this long to implement it. Most of the toad scientists aren't too bright. (looking over the readings) Shields at 40%. BUCKY We've got to get out of here. (into comm) Blinky! Can we still make the jump? BLINKY (over comm) Negative. Combat has disrupted the workings of ship's photon accelerator. This humble robot is repairing damage. BUCKY Not the words I wanted to hear! Bucky makes a sharp turn, leaving about half of the double bubbles in the dust. The rest are still on him, though PITSTOP PETE is getting some good shots in. Bucky zigs and zags, trying not to stay too still while also giving Pete a chance to fire back. Bucky is a skilled pilot, though the mammals are slowly losing the battle. Bucky is so focused on his flying that he doesn't see the external intercom lights go off. Mimi takes the calls. Dogstar appears on one screen in the cockpit, the lizard another. DOGSTAR (over comm) Bucky, there's a communication for you. BUCKY (preoccupied) I can see that. (to Mimi) Take the controls. MIMI (grabbing the controls near her) Got it. BUCKY (to Dogstar) Can this wait? LIZARD (sneering) You can ignore me if you wish, but if you do, Aldebaran will surely fall. BUCKY Aldebaran? What? Bucky can still catch a glimpse of the planet out of the corner of his eye. Mimi, though putting most of her energy into flying, hears that the conversation is about Aldebaran, and the odd feeling of a cold sweat breaks out over her. LIZARD I am risking my life for this, so listen well. Cameleous and his followers have set their sights on attacking Aldebaran. With that planet's current ... problems ... they have a good chance of succeeding. BUCKY (alarmed) Why are you telling me this? LIZARD Because I know of your affection for the heretic. BUCKY You also have a few debts to pay, I take it? LIZARD (hissing) I bring you information, and you insult me! I eagerly await the day that the justice of Frith washes over the aniverse and leaves the mammals bleeding and cringing at our feet! Not up for a vitriolic sermon, Bucky shuts off the comm displaying the lizard. He turns to Dogstar. BUCKY Do you think he's telling the truth? DOGSTAR As much as I don't trust him, Bucky, we can't afford to assume he's lying. BUCKY (uneasily) You're right. What should we do? DOGSTAR That's the problem, my boy. We simply don't have the resources to offer Aldebaran any protection. Threatening the regens probably won't accomplish much, either. Mimi winces as another toad shot gets through. Pete is a good gunner, but he's no Deadeye, and they were grossly outnumbered to begin with. A thought crosses Bucky's mind. BUCKY Actually, I know someone who can handle regens. And he owes us a favor, to boot. DOGSTAR (venturing a guess) Dallion? BUCKY You got it. But there's no way he can take care of the regens all by himself. No, we need to bargain with them somehow. DOGSTAR (a little ruffled) Captain O'Hare, are you suggesting that we negotiate with terrorists? BUCKY I'm saying we don't let Aldebaran get run over. Just then, the ship shakes violently. Mimi scowls and turns the steering wheel hard. MIMI Damn! DOGSTAR (a bit staticky) What was that? BUCKY (concerned) Our more pressing problem. Give me a second. (to himself) Think! Bucky tries to drown out the battle around him and figure out how to get the regens to spare Aldebaran. He turns and looks at Mimi, who's completely intent on not letting her ship get blown to pieces. Something she said sticks in Bucky's mind. BUCKY The mark-5! That's it! DOGSTAR (confused) What's that? BUCKY I've got a plan. Listen ... As the fight rages around them and Mimi manages to keep just out of the toads' reach, Bucky tells Dogstar what to do. DOGSTAR Well, I must say I haven't got any better ideas. I'll prepare the envoy and leave immediately. BUCKY Good luck. The ship shakes again. DOGSTAR (winces) You too, old boy. Should I send Roedecker to back you up? MIMI (still scowling) No! I can handle this. DOGSTAR (concerned) Of course, Captain LaFleur. Dogstar out. The comm dies. Bucky grabs the controls. BUCKY Want me to ... MIMI (focusing) I got it, Bucky! BUCKY (letting go and putting his paws in the air) OK. (into comm) How's it looking down there, Blinky? BLINKY (over comm) This humble android needs two more minutes to repair accelerator, Captain. BUCKY (looking at all the toads visible through the cockpit) I'm counting the seconds. SCENE 11 - WILLY'S ROOM, THE DUWITT RESIDENCE, SAN FRANCISCO, EARTH Willy is sitting on the side of his bed. He exhales as he closes the book he's reading -- one of the Harry Potter books, as Scott got him interested in the series. Placing the book on the bedside table, his eyes dart over to the photon accelerator in his room. WILLY (thinking) (stands) Willy takes a slightly hesitant step toward the accelerator, then frowns. WILLY (thinking) Suddenly realizing something, Willy moves his hand toward his head and rests his right index and middle fingers on his temple. WILLY (thinking) Willy tries to contact Jenny, but it's like pushing against a brick wall. For whatever reason, he cannot will himself to perform magic. WILLY (thinking) Willy shakes it off, then blinks. He's standing right in front of the accelerator now, though he doesn't remember taking those last few steps. He checks the power source and the settings. Satisfied that everything is as it should be, he inhales and holds it. WILLY (thinking) Willy flips the switch. SCENE 12 - SPACE OUTSIDE ALDEBARAN The Screaming Mimi is taking a pounding. In the cockpit, Bucky hears Blinky's voice calmly crackle over the intercom. BLINKY (over comm) Photon accelerator repaired, Captain. BUCKY (into comm) Start it and get us out of here! A second later, all the power seems to drain from the frigate. All the controls in the cockpit are dead, and the sound of Pete's maser canons dies away. Bucky blinks in surprise, not expecting this but not unaccustomed to it. Mimi, however, is very confused. MIMI (blinking) What just happened? BUCKY (thinking about it) This is what happened when Willy activated his door. (looks out the cockpit window) Yeah. Stasis field and everything. MIMI Stasis field? Mimi looks, too. The frigate is surrounded by a dull reddish field completely protecting them from the toads' plasma fire. MIMI Well, I'm not complaining. BLINKY (voice amplified from below) Captain, intercom is dead, and this humble android must report sudden presence of ... BUCKY (finishing the sentence) Willy's door. (freezes) But that's impossible. Bucky bounds down the ladder into the main bay. Mimi takes a second to respond but quickly follows him. The two mammals dart down to engineering but stop in their tracks when they see Willy's door facing them. Blinky stands next to it. MIMI (under her breath) What the frell ... BUCKY Willy ... (turns to Blinky) Blinky, what's going on? As Blinky speaks, Pitstop Pete enters the bay, scratching his head in confusion. BLINKY Blinky must have edited settings on Captain LaFleur's photon accelerator during repairs, reestablishing connection with photon accelerator on Earth. (beat) But both sides of connection must exist in order for ... A rattling noise brings the mammals' attention back to the door. The doorknob turns, and with a creak, the door swings open. SCENE 13 - SPACE, UNKNOWN SECTOR The Indefatigable zips across a desolate, uncharted region of space. Following closely behind it is VINCENT ROEDECKER's ship, The Wraith. In the cockpit of The Indefatigable, Dogstar and FIRST MATE JONATHAN WEISSMAN discuss their plan. DOGSTAR According to our information, the hidden regen base should be straight ahead. JONATHAN Assuming that the lizard didn't lie to us, of course. DOGSTAR Lizards tend to keep their word when it comes to large sums of money. They take pride in it, from what I understand. If they intend to scam you, it's for modest sums. If a lot of money is at stake, they enjoy the fact that they got it legitimately. (beat) Legitimately being a relative term, of course. JONATHAN I understand the need to aid Aldebaran, but I must admit, Dogstar, I never pictured you agreeing to work with someone trying to extort the UAC. DOGSTAR (a bit of a grin) And considering all the tracing we've got on that money, in addition to the file we dug up on our informant, we'll never have to deal with him again, unless it's to laugh at him for requesting parole. Jonathan raises an eyebrow. JONATHAN Nice. DOGSTAR It appears that sometimes, you *can* teach an old dog new tricks. Dogstar looks ahead and can make out an asteroid in the distance with many ships around and on it. He checks the sensors, and sure enough, it doesn't register. He reaches for the comm and contacts The Wraith. DOGSTAR (into comm) We're moving into position. I want you as backup in case things get ugly. ROEDECKER (over comm) I know, I know. (grumbles) Why I agreed to do this is what I don't know. The gunner and warp drive mechanic you loaned me had better not suck. DOGSTAR And once our business here is complete, you are to head to Aldebaran and offer assistance to captains O'Hare and LaFleur, who seem to be in a spot of trouble. ROEDECKER (his voice noticeably cheerier) Bail out Mimi, huh? Now that sounds like fun. Dogstar cuts the link, then fiddles with the controls, establishing a new one. DOGSTAR (to Jonathan) Once our man is here, we should be ready to move in. (over comm) Dallion? The voice of DALLION, the cyborg wolf, echoes into the cockpit. DALLION (over comm) I have received your instructions, Commander Dogstar, and will soon be in position. (beat) While this assignment may provide me with ... a release, I take no pleasure in it. I would much rather be assisting you in eradicating the toads. DOGSTAR You're not alone there, Dallion, but this is O'Hare's plan, and he says you owe him a favor. DALLION I indeed owe O'Hare a great debt, and I am a wolf of my word. DOGSTAR Glad to hear it, old chap. Touching down in five. Dogstar out. The link dies, and Jonathan pilots the frigate toward the asteroid, which they are now above. SCENE 14 - ENGINEERING BAY, THE SCREAMING MIMI Willy swings the door open and steps through. He pauses. He was expecting to walk into his hospital room, not an S.P.A.C.E. frigate. He also wasn't expecting Bucky. WILLY (blinks) Captain? BUCKY Willy ... (his voice strengthening) Willy, what are you doing here? WILLY I ... I don't know. I thought the accelerator would take me back to the hospital. BUCKY Not here, I mean, in the aniverse. Why aren't you still at home? WILLY I ... (suddenly feeling unwelcome) I wanted to come back. This sobers Bucky, but it doesn't dissuade him. BUCKY You can't come back. You're not allowed to. WILLY Says who? This was my decision. BUCKY We talked to your parents. They don't want you here. WILLY (getting a bit upset) Did you not just hear me? I said this was *my* decision! BUCKY No, it's not. It's my decision. You have to go home. Willy is getting angry; he can't tell whether Bucky is being genuine or just using the caution force-fed him by his parents and Dr. Lurie. BUCKY Look, Willy, this is for your own good ... WILLY You know what's for my own good? Being with friends. Helping my friends. Fighting for something I believe in. BUCKY This isn't your fight, Willy. It's ours. WILLY I'm making it my fight. BUCKY We don't need you. We can fight without you. Mimi, who didn't want to get involved in this increasingly heated conversation, takes exception to this. MIMI Are you kidding, Bucky? We probably need Willy now more than ever. WILLY (turning to Mimi) What? Why? BUCKY Don't ... MIMI Genus has been invaded by the toads, Willy. We're on the run. WILLY *What*?! BUCKY That only makes it more dangerous for him to stay here! (stepping up to Willy) You know I don't like it, Willy, but I can't let you come back. Your parents don't want you here. Dr. Lurie doesn't. I ... (calming down) I don't, either. Not after I've seen what can happen to you. Willy is ignoring Bucky, however. WILLY Mimi, what happened? MIMI A few weeks ago, the toads launched a massive offensive against Genus. They captured the planet and enslaved everyone, including the Security Council. WILLY They've got Fritz. MIMI (looking away) Fritz is ... missing. So's Jenny. WILLY Jenny's missing? (thinking) (to Mimi) What else have the toads done since I've been gone? MIMI That's about it. Everyone in the fleet got away, except for most of Dogstar's crew. We're doing everything we can to fight back, but it's slow. It's not easy. Willy stares at Mimi for a second, then bites his lip. WILLY Let me guess. They used something I invented for them to invade Genus. MIMI No, Willy. It's not your fault. (weakly) It's mine, actually. They brainwashed me. WILLY (stunned) Oh. BUCKY (startled) What?! MIMI (hissing out of the corner of her mouth at Bucky while still looking at Willy) Not now. WILLY (softly) Really? They brainwashed you, too? MIMI It's OK. I'll get them back for what they did to me. (strides up to Willy) And so will you, right? Willy turns to look at Bucky, whose hands are on his hips. BUCKY Not if I can help it. WILLY Dammit, Bucky! What is wrong with you? I'm the one who's risking his neck here, not you! BUCKY And that's why I can't do this. I refuse to put a minor in the line of fire. WILLY (sounding older than he is) And I refuse to give up on this. I refuse to let the toads win after what they've done to me. BUCKY One of the reasons I won't take you back is *because* of what they've done to you. I'm not allowing you to return until you pass your psych evaluation. WILLY From the sound of it, Dr. Lurie's dead or in a slave labor camp. I'll skip the formality and pass myself. Bucky does not seem convinced. BUCKY (taking a different tack) You realize what the toads will do to you if they capture you. WILLY I'm not an idiot. BUCKY Well, you're sure acting like one. Willy brushes off Bucky and turns to Blinky. WILLY Blinky, give me the status on this ship. Anything I need to fix? BUCKY (not giving Blinky time to respond) Dammit, Willy! We just don't want to see you get hurt. WILLY I don't think the toads can do anything worse to me than what they've already done. BUCKY Fine. You want to be in the military again? Then consider yourself under my command. And as your captain, I *order* you to go home and not return until we tell you it's safe. WILLY (inspecting the photon accelerator) Sorry, that's one order I won't follow. And I don't think you have the resources to court martial me. Bucky curses under his breath and turns away, trying to think of a way to talk Willy out of it. Mimi comes to his side and speaks with a softer voice. MIMI Bucky, I don't think he's going to listen to you. BUCKY Tell me something I don't know. MIMI And we *do* need him. Bucky gives Mimi a betrayed look. BUCKY Are you actually suggesting that we put our needs in front of a child's? Willy looks up, his voice filled with even more emotion than it has been the rest of the conversation. WILLY (angry) I am *not* a child, OK? I'm sixteen years old! BUCKY Then why don't you start acting like it?! Mimi puts her paws on Bucky's chest to stop him from getting any closer to Willy in anger. Bucky instantly calms down, feeling the strength in Mimi's paws. He respects it, and he instantly relaxes. He hadn't realized it, but in Jenny's absence, Mimi has started to become his calming influence. MIMI Bucky, this is getting us nowhere. Our crews are weak, Genus is under enemy control, and we don't even know if our political leaders are dead or alive. We need all the help we can get. BUCKY (quietly) He's not ready. MIMI Maybe it's time to let *him* make that decision. Bucky sighs. He knows Mimi and Willy are right. He also knows, however, that he is right. He turns to Willy and speaks carefully. BUCKY Willy DuWitt. WILLY (not paying attention) Wow, you remember my last name. BUCKY As long as you remain onboard a frigate or safely on Warren at all times, and never put yourself in the line of toad fire, I will allow you to resume military duty under my command. Willy looks at Bucky. He wants to seem unemotionally grateful, but he can't suppress the excited energy he feels. WILLY Thank you, Captain. BUCKY Also, you are only allowed to spend time in the aniverse when expressly needed for a mission or important government work. You will spend the rest of your time in your own universe, with your own family. WILLY That's fine. I was planning to do that anyway. BUCKY And Willy? WILLY Yes, Captain? Bucky extends his paw. BUCKY Welcome back. Willy grins and shakes Bucky's paw. WILLY Thank you, sir. BUCKY (letting go) Now get us out of here, before the toads finish us off. WILLY The toads are here? Then why aren't we ... (realizing) Oh, the stasis field must be up. Do we need the accelerator to get out of here? MIMI Either that or some nukes. WILLY (turning to the accelerator) Gimme a sec. Willy adjusts a few settings on the accelerator. WILLY There we go. Willy motions toward the main bay. WILLY (finally feeling at ease) You two better get in the cockpit. I'm gonna shut the stasis field off in a sec. Point us to Genus and give me the word, and I'll warp us out of here. Bucky decides not to correct Willy that he's going to point them toward Warren. Instead, Bucky smiles, glad to see Willy back despite his reservations. He walks into the main bay and climbs up the ladder, with Mimi right behind him. BUCKY (to Mimi) You're good. MIMI (confidently) I know. With Bucky and Mimi back in their seats, Willy waits a few seconds, then deactivates the accelerator. The ship rumbles and shudders, but only for a second. Bucky's voice barks over the intercom. BUCKY (over comm) Let's get out of here! Smiling, Willy presses a button on the accelerator and then pulls the handle, sending The Screaming Mimi into hyperspace and leaving the double bubbles in the dust. SCENE 15 - OUTSIDE REGEN BASE, UNKNOWN LOCATION, ANIVERSE The Indefatigable, flanked by The Wraith and Dallion, hovers just outside the dock connected to the regen headquarters. In the cockpit, Dogstar establishes a connection with the base. DOGSTAR (into comm) Commander Dogstar of S.P.A.C.E. requesting permission to land for The Indefatigable, The Wraith, and Dallion. LIZARD (over comm) You have no right to be here. You have no right to know this base exists! Prepare to be obliterated. DOGSTAR My friend, we are not here to arrest you. We are here to make a deal. LIZARD (sounding interested) A deal? Why would you mammals want to make a deal with us? DOGSTAR Because it benefits both parties. (beat) Yours more than ours, admittedly. That line does the trick. The lizard says nothing, but the dock's main doors open, allowing the two frigates and Dallion to land. Roedecker exits his vehicle, and out of The Indefatigable step Dogstar, Jonathan, GUNNER DEADEYE DUCK, and a very nervous-looking ENGINEER MIKE MARISON. MIKE (quietly) Sure I can't just stay on board? DOGSTAR (not turning to face Mike) If you're going to survive in the military, son, you're going to need guts. Just stay calm and don't do anything unless you have to. A group of well-armed LIZARDS enters the dock. LIZARD #1 (blasters drawn) You have one minute to state your business. DOGSTAR I request an audience with Cameleous. The lizards get a hearty laugh out of this. LIZARD #1 And what makes you think Cameleous would honor such a request from you mangy fleabags? CAMELEOUS For entertainment. The lizards, surprised, part as Cameleous emerges and walks through them, stopping a few feet in front of Dogstar. CAMELEOUS I am very interested to see what these foolish mammals think they have up their sleeves, especially considering that we outnumber them and their government is -- how to put it -- cowering in a corner? This raises a few hairs, but Dogstar stands unmoved. DOGSTAR Actually, it's not what I have up my sleeve that's at stake here. It's what's in my ship. My mark-5 accelerator, in fact. Cameleous visibly gains a little interest. CAMELEOUS Your mark-5? DOGSTAR Indeed. Want it? Cameleous barely contains his enthusiasm and stays cool. CAMELEOUS You seem unaware that we have possessed blueprints for the mark-5 accelerator for quite some time now, thanks to your chairman. DOGSTAR Oh, I'm quite aware of that, Cameleous. I'm also aware that your engineers have failed to adapt those blueprints into an actual, working accelerator. CAMELEOUS (affected) How do you know that? DOGSTAR It's rather obvious. There haven't ever been any reports of regen ships hopping around at mark-5 speeds. We do have the ability to keep track of these things, you know. Cameleous overlooks Dogstar, whom he had underestimated. CAMELEOUS And what do you want from us, then, in exchange for your mark-5? DOGSTAR I want a signed, dated document swearing that you and your forces will neither now nor ever attack the UAC planet known as Aldebaran. The lizards laugh at this, but Cameleous does not. CAMELEOUS Very well. If you wish to trade a mark-5 accelerator for the promise that we will not attack Aldebaran, then I will agree to that. DOGSTAR (smiles slightly) Yes, I indeed want a promise from you. Fortunately, I have a method of enforcing it. Cameleous seems amused at this. CAMELEOUS And what would that be? DOGSTAR Our friend Dallion here. Dallion steps up and stands next to Dogstar. Cameleous takes a close look at him, impressed. CAMELEOUS This ... creature will keep us in line, then, is that it? DALLION I will. CAMELEOUS (smiles) If you insist. Dogstar takes a quick glance at the group of lizards standing behind Cameleous and recognizes one of them. DOGSTAR Out of curiosity, Cameleous, are there any lizards in this room who have given you trouble in the past? Proven untrustworthy, perhaps? CAMELEOUS (hissing) As a matter of fact, there is one. DOGSTAR Mind pointing him out? Again, just out of curiosity. Cameleous points a long, scaly finger directly at the lizard who made the deal with Dogstar. The lizard cowers a bit. LIZARD What? What have I done? CAMELEOUS You think I do not know what brought the mammals here? DOGSTAR Dallion? DALLION With pleasure. Dallion takes a few heavy steps up to the lizard, his footsteps unleashing a metallic clang that echoes across the dock. The lizard raises his blaster in self-defense, but Dallion gets the drop on him, using a razor-sharp claw to rip the regen's arm off. The regen screams in pain. Not giving his opponent a chance to move, Dallion uses his left arm to stab the lizard in the chest, immobilizing him. His right arm clenches around the lizard's neck, and in a flash of blood, the lizard's head and spinal column part with his body. The lizard's lifeless corpse falls to the ground with a sickening thud. Dallion turns around, holding the severed head and spine high. The crowd of lizards gasps and all train their blasters on Dallion while taking a few steps back. Cameleous, however, looks impressed. CAMELEOUS Well played. We have a deal. (pointing to Mike) I assume your frightened little engineer will help give us some insight into the accelerator? MIKE (trying to sound firm) Y-yeah. I'll help you out as long as we stay here. (looks at Dogstar) Which won't be long, right? DOGSTAR Not terribly long, no. (to Roedecker) Speaking of which, you're free to go. Good luck. Roedecker scowls and climbs back into his ship. ROEDECKER (muttering) Shouldn't have even come ... Dallion drops his prize and walks back over to Dogstar. DOGSTAR We will help you remove our mark-5 accelerator, then we will stay for half an hour to answer any questions you may have. After that, my engineer will install the spare mark-4 we have on board, and we will be on our way. CAMELEOUS (nodding) I will draw up our deal and bring you a copy. DOGSTAR Bring me the original, please. Write it in standard aniversian, and make it no longer than one page. Cameleous exits, followed by his lizards, a few of whom are still spooked. The mammals hang back and wait. Dogstar looks proud of himself, Mike looks relieved, Deadeye looks disappointed, Jonathan looks slightly queasy, and Dallion looks refreshed. DEADEYE (under his breath) Next time, I hope I c'n at least get a few shots off. SCENE 16 - ORBIT ABOVE WARREN The Screaming Mimi exits hyperspace and appears in orbit above Warren. Mimi quickly transmits the code to let them bypass Warren's defense system, and the frigate slowly lowers into the atmosphere. BUCKY (relieved) Well, that was fun. MIMI (grins) You and your definition of fun. BUCKY I'm going to talk to Willy for a bit. MIMI I'll be right here. Bucky hops down the ladder and enters engineering, where Willy is maintaining the accelerator. He salutes when Bucky enters. BUCKY At ease. Good work, Engineer. WILLY Thanks. Glad to know I'm not rusty. BUCKY Heh. Well, we're about to land on Warren, so we're safe now. You can go home. WILLY Already? But ... BUCKY (interrupting) We're safe, for now. I have to talk your arrival over with the people running the UAC right now, and it would probably be easier without you there. Willy doesn't have a response for this. BUCKY I'm glad you're back, but like I said, you can't spend all your time here anymore. (smiles) Go home. Relax. It's a reward for a job well done. WILLY OK. (turns to his door) But wait, how will I know when you need me? If Jenny's not here ... Bucky scratches his chin. BUCKY Good question. We'll think of something, I hope. But for now, can you come here at twelve hundred hours tomorrow? WILLY Sure thing. BUCKY And not a minute before, OK? WILLY (rolls his eyes) OK, OK. Sheesh, Captain, you used to be a *little* less strict than this. BUCKY (somberly) That was before the toads nearly killed you and then took over Genus. Caution isn't such a bad idea anymore. WILLY (nodding) I guess. I'll be here tomorrow at noon. BUCKY See you then. (a little awkward) Tell your parents I say hello, I guess. WILLY (grins) Maybe. Willy walks through his door, which vanishes a few seconds later. Bucky steps into the main bay and climbs back into the cockpit. MIMI We're just about to land. BUCKY Thank the Great Mother. MIMI You want to get a drink? Bucky thinks about this, but only for a second. BUCKY Yeah. SCENE 17 - SPACE OUTSIDE ALDEBARAN Roedecker warps into this part of space, finding it empty. ROEDECKER (thinking) Just then, a fleet of bloodthirsty double bubbles comes of nowhere and starts attacking The Wraith. Alarmed, Roedecker yells down to the engineering bay. ROEDECKER Get us out of here! MECHANIC (from below) Yes, sir! Roedecker watches the toads descend upon his ship and nearly blow it away before the accelerator activates and helps them escape. Though relieved, Roedecker clenches his fist. ROEDECKER Very funny, Mimi. SCENE 18 - BAR, WARREN It's late, and this dirty bar is just about empty. Most of the noise is coming from Bucky and Mimi, who are sitting at the bar and each nursing what is clearly not their first drink. Leaning over and out of uniform, they seem much more relaxed than they've been all day. MIMI (reaches for some peanuts) Thanks, by the way. BUCKY (slightly slurred) For what? MIMI For rehiring Willy. Bucky looks away for a moment. BUCKY You make it seem like I did the right thing. MIMI He was right. He's not a child. (beat) He's more like a sullen teenager. To this, Bucky has to smile. BUCKY You're not the one who has to raise him. MIMI I bet it wasn't in your job description. BUCKY I don't think there's a job listing out there that describes what we do. MIMI (grinning) "Applicant must be dashing, have good aim and a death wish." BUCKY (annoyed, in a drunk sort of way) Why does everyone keep saying I have a death wish? MIMI Because even I wouldn't do the crazy things you do. Bucky takes another swig of his drink. BUCKY I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. I've seen you do plenty of things that would get you institutionalized during peacetime. MIMI Who, me? I'm the only sane person in the fleet! What have *I* done? BUCKY (counting on his fingers) Let's see. There's your unnecessarily brash undercover work ... MIMI (leans in, smiling) Oh, don't be jealous just because you're too notorious for that sort of thing. BUCKY How about getting Kadaf arrested? MIMI He *was* involved. Sort of. BUCKY And your wonderful dating hist ... MIMI (waving her hands) Are you going to criticize me for Vince or Fritz? Or both? Because there's only so much a girl can take. BUCKY Well, if we're just going to criticize each other all night, you're welcome to take your potshots at me. MIMI You would let me do that? BUCKY Everyone does it anyway. Mimi giggles. BUCKY What? MIMI (fiddles with a peanut) I'm sorry. You're just too easy a target. BUCKY Hey, screw you! MIMI Where do you want me to start? BUCKY (looks away) Not with my bad parenting. I feel miserable enough about that. MIMI All right. Your psych file? That thing must be a mile high. BUCKY (surprised) You've seen it? MIMI I'm making an extremely educated guess. (points to herself) Who had to slap you around last year? BUCKY It wasn't Jenny, let's put it that way. MIMI Jenny wouldn't slap you around. She'd walk off in some huff and not speak to you for three weeks. Bucky really can't hold back his laughter at this. BUCKY Yeah. You're right. Why do you know us so well? MIMI (rolls her eyes) Because you're both so predictably naïve. BUCKY Well ... (leans in) ... you're so jaded. When did you get so jaded? MIMI (scowling a little) About ten minutes before I dumped Vincent. BUCKY (takes another swig) You dumped him? That's not what *I* heard. MIMI Who are you gonna trust, me or him? (tightens her grip on her drink) But I don't want to get into it. BUCKY (smirking) Yeah, Genus was invaded and we're talking about exes. This is great. Very professional. MIMI (her ears perking up) Wait ... so Jenny's an ex now? BUCKY (quickly) No. (beat) I mean, I don't know. No, she's not. I love her. She's just ... really annoying sometimes. MIMI (takes a drink) There. You've described my situation, too. BUCKY You just like guys with long ears. MIMI I'm a *little* more discriminating than that. BUCKY Long ears *and* power. MIMI You don't have any power. You just look good in a uniform. Bucky raises his glass. BUCKY I'll take my compliments where I can get them! MIMI When did *you* get so jaded? BUCKY When did you get so naïve? Instead of responding with words, Mimi kisses Bucky, pushing him back against the bar. He doesn't make any attempt to stop her. In fact, when they separate, they're both gasping for air. BUCKY We shouldn't do this. MIMI (smiling devilishly) That's not what you're really thinking. BUCKY Mimi, I'm being serious. MIMI So am I. Do you want to stop? BUCKY (only briefly hesitates) No. He kisses her. THE END